Ann's Story - the Lord never leaves us!

MY TESTIMONY

On the 26th of January, 2000, I was returning to Kuwait from India. I wasn't really excited about the idea, but then, this is where I earn my living. The journey was pretty smooth all the way. I cleared through immigrations, collected my luggage, walked to a custom officer, who checked my baggage. He was about to let me go, when he pointed to my hand bag and said,
"Give me that". After thoroughly checking the contents, he took out a big brown envelope, and said, "What's this?" I said, "I don't know. This was given to me at the airport for someone out here." He opened it, laughed and said, "Do you usually carry drugs for people?"

I began to panic! I'm not going to explain in detail what I went through at the airport. All I can say is, the officers were brutal in their behaviour and by the time they were done with me, I was totally humiliated to the point where it didn't matter if I lived or died after that. If only I could have seen it then, that through my weakness, Satan was having the time of his life. But then, Satan's other name is 'camouflage'. As strange as this may sound, most people, when they get into difficulties, the last thing they think of doing is to pray! And this is exactly what happened to me. Like most of the people, I was mentally, physically and spiritually worn out by fear. I let fear flood my soul. Whatever faith I had in me, I let fear destroy it.

I allowed Satan to say to me, "Your life is over now and there's nothing you can do about it." There was so much fear inside of me, that I completely forgot that I had the Lord on my side. I was totally controlled by fear. Slowly it dawned on me, and I
cried out to the Lord, "Oh Lord, I'm scared. I want to go home. Please, I beg of you, take me home." And the next thing I saw was a familiar face. It was the face of a friend, my brother's friend. Of course, I wasn't allowed to talk to him because the
officers wouldn't allow me to. But the Lord allowed me to say, "Ahmed, please tell my brother to call my lawyer, his number is in my brown wallet in my drawer." All it took was, for me to put my trust in God and to resist the devil. It says in James 4:7
"Submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you." Of course, I didn't know this then, but I know it now.

I couldn't close my eyes and pretend that the devil wasn't there and that from then on, things would be perfect. No! I was detained at the airport for several hours. I was interogated by so many officers. I began to get anxious and here's another thing I didn't know - the Bible clearly tells us in Matthew 6:34 "Don't be anxious." I realised that my anxious behaviour did nothing to help me. All it did was make me feel God was far away. And finally after almost 7 hours of pure hell, the CID officers took me to the Criminal Jail.

When we reached the jail, I was pushed into a 3x4 room that had 2 bathrooms in it, no window, just an exhaust on one side of the wall, and a huge black iron door. There were 12 other women in there too. Once again I let fear take control of my life. I just couldn't believe what was happening to me. I was so frightened that I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me. I
moved towards the extreme corner of the wall behind the door. I made a ball of myself, held on to my knees and then, in hardly a few seconds after I was locked in, my eyes read the words, "JESUS LOVES YOU AND ME" inscribed on that black iron door! The Lord knew that I was frighten and it was His way of reassuring me that He too was there with me. It clearly states in
the Bible in Hebrews 13:5 "I will never fail you nor forsake you."

As amazing as it may sound, it was the only way Jesus could tell me that He loves me and that He was there with me in that small cell! I felt in my heart that no matter what happened from then on, Jesus too was with me, holding my hand and He wouldn't let go. I kept saying to myself, "Jesus loves me. Jesus loves me. Jesus loves me!" Although I didn't have any reason to
be happy, I was happy! But let me be very honest here. Even those words couldn't take away the funny feeling I had in the pit of my stomach. Why? Because I still let Satan control me with 'fear'. I won't deny it, I was still afraid! I didn't know what was happening on the outside. If only I could have put all my trust in the Lord and believed in my heart that everything was going to be alright. But sad to say, I didn't do that, not at that moment.

Fear had taken hold of me. I kept asking the security guard to allow me to talk to my son or my brother. But he wouldn't allow me. Every minute seemed like a year! It was simply unbearable inside the cell. I tried to sleep, but sleep wouldn't come. After an hour inside the cell, I was choking.

The only air entering that cell was through the opening at the bottom of that door. I just couldn't endure it any longer. All the women inside were pretty relaxed, doing their own stuff - chatting, eating, joking, laughing, taking their shower. They were so
comfortable, it was like they lived there.

There was only one elderly Muslim lady who cried a lot. The strange thing is, no matter how scared I was, I couldn't cry. I admit one thing though, in spite of my fear, there was an inner calm which I couldn't explain then but I understand it now. For this type of calmness only comes from one person, Jesus! I found out later, that people in India, Canada and States were praying for me. That explains the tranquility I felt even in my worst moments. I really can't express in words how I managed to get through my first night in the cell. To put it in simple English, every minute was traumatic and frightful! If I managed to fall off
to sleep, it was due to mere exhaustion. I was exhausted from getting up early in the morning to catch my flight. Exhausted from the hours I was held up at the airport and exhausted from the whole ordeal.

The light in the cell was never swithced off, but yet, I must have dozed off to sleep within an hour after being thrown inside. But, only to awaken a few hours later and notice that all the women were fast asleep. That strange feeling in the pit of my stomach returned all over again. I must have dozed off to sleep again. I woke up at about five in the morning (I knew it was morning because I had my watch) and the other women were fast asleep. As I sat there, I could hear the devil say, "You've blown it! You're so weak, your're such a lousy Christian. Give up! Throw in the towel. You'll never make it!" I got up and began to pace up and down. As I walked, my eyes were turned towards a writing on the wall. The words I read were, "Those who believe in Jesus was saved" (written in poor grammar). The Lord knew what Satan was up to, so He took hold of my hand and said to me, "Come child, read these words, for this is all you have to do, believe in me!"

Of course, nothing changed in the cell. It was still very difficult to breath in there. Each time I got choked, I would go to the door, bend down on my knees, place my nose to the floor and breathe in as much oxygen as I could. I did this several times through out the day. If I wasn't at the door, I was pacing up and down 1, 2, 3 steps up and 1, 2, 3 steps back that was all the space my feet could take me. To be honest, these were the only verses I had memorised from the Bible and in my moments of weakness and defeat I kept repeating them: 2 TIM 1:7 "THE LORD HAS NOT GIVEN ME A SPIRIT OF FEAR, BUT OF POWER, OF LOVE AND OF A SOUND MIND", 1 JOHN 4:4 "GREATER IS HE THAT IS IN ME THAN HE THAT IS IN THE WORLD" and ROM 8:31 "IF THE LORD BE FOR US WHO CAN BE AGAINST US". These verses gave me inner strength, hope to go on and cling to a love that I could never begin to understand the love of my Lord Jesus Christ!

It was now my second day in the cell. I had not eaten any food. All I did was drink water to moisten my lips which were sore. I just wanted the nightmare to come to an end. I longed to go home, to family and friends. Food was the last thing on my mind. I continued to pray. In fact, that's all I ever did. If I paced up and down, I was praying. If I sat, I had my palms outstretched upwards and I'd pray and if I was lying down, I was praying. I never stopped praying. My lips never stopped giving thanks and praise to the Lord.

On my third day in the cell, the Lord spoke to me again. There were many writings on the walls. But the Lord didn't want me to see them all at one time. So, each day, my eyes would see what He, the Lord wanted them to see. This time, I read, "JESUS IS MY STRENGTH". It's like the Lord knew that I would need strength on the third day, because I hadn't eaten anything. I just couldn't eat. The sight of the food made me want to throw up. In the Bible it says, "for my strength is made perfect in weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9.

On the evening of the third day, I was sitting and praying as usual, while all the women did their usual stuff - talked, laughed, ate. Among them, there was this Muslim woman. From the day I was put in the cell, I noticed that although she prayed, she was always unhappy and she cried ever so often. That evening she came and sat by my side and said to me, "Who are you
praying to?" I said, "Jesus. He is the only one I know how to pray to and through Him, my father in Heaven hears me." Then she said, "Can you pray for me too." I said to her, "I can, but I want you to pray to him." Then she said, "What did you say his name was?" I said, "Jesus." Then, she said, "Jesus" and she began to pray and I actually heard her take the name of Jesus. And seconds later she said, "You know what, I feel so much better." Ofcourse, I didn't know then that the Lord had actually used me, but I know it now. For it clearly says in, John 4:34 "My food is to do the will of Him who sent Me, and to finish His work."
Yes, as Christians, we should be good examples to the others around us especially to non-believers. Our faith in Jesus should be noticed by them.

This part of my testimony is vital. I must say, that no matter what I was going through, I never stopped giving thanks and praise to the Lord. I don't know if you have read, "PRISON TO PRAISE" - "POWER IN PRAISE" - and "PRAISE WORKS", I'm really glad I did! I know, if I hadn't read those books before my horrible ordeal, I would have never known how to thank and
praise the Lord for what happened to me at the airport, for the 3 nights in the cell and for what I'm still going through. Even when I choked, I said, "Thank you Lord, thank you my Jesus. For everything I give you thanks and praise." I know, Satan thought he could stop me from praising God by his devious ways but, I said to him, "Satan, in the name of Jesus, you
have no place here, go away, the more you hurt me, the more I'll give praise and thanks to the Lord!"

I honestly admit, I wasn't aware that praise and worship transforms our troubles till I spent those 3 nights in prison. As I praised and worshiped, I found that my Father was close to me and that He loves me. I had never been in prison before. This first experience should have frightened me, but in the depths of my distress, He gave me a meausre of His joy, which no sorrow could take away from me. He gave me His love. What a glorious hope in the midst of my suffering. Nothing so glorifies God as praising Him for His love when we can no longer understand Him and are tempted to lose confidence in His love.

In Luke 8:5-8 it tells us about "The Parable of the Sower". In all honestly I do admit that at the time, my faith was like - The seeds that fell on the rock - these are people who hear, receive the word with joy, and have no root, they believe for a while and when temptations come, they give in. I let Satan control me with fear. My faith wasn't strong enough to believe that no matter what the circumstance, God is there by my side. So, the only way He confirm it to me is by guiding my eyes to read the writings written by other believers.

Actually, He was with me right from the very beginning. If it wasn't for Him, my brothers friend, wouldn't have come in and my brother wouldn't have known how to get in touch with my lawyer. And when my brother did get in touch with my lawyer, he was scheduled to leave for Bahrain and would have been out of town. But the Lord took care of that too. My brother met my lawyer, who promised him that he'd be in court for me first thing on Saturday, which of course I knew nothing of.

If the Lord wasn't for me, then come Saturday, I would have been taken to Court, from there to the Central Jail for a period of 21 days. But God was with me like He was with Paul, when he was in prison. Psalm 62:1-2 "In God alone does my soul find rest for he saves me. He is both my rock and my salvation; he is my defender so I will never be defeated" the Lord set me free on the 29th of March, 2000. On the morning of that day, at about 10:00 a.m while I was taken to court, I looked toward the sky and said, "Thank you my Lord, thank you that I'm able to see the sky again."

I'm not going to deny it, I was afraid. I didn't know what to expect. I wasn't even aware that my lawyer would be there because right up to now I wasn't allowed to make any phone calls, so I still didn't get a chance to talk to anyone or find out about my lawyer. While I waited in Court, my lawyer, (who was in a hurry) walked pass me so fast that I barely had a chance to sight the end of his robe. But I knew instantly that it was him. Don't ask me how I knew. I just did! The Lord gave me that instinct. For he stepped back, entered the room, held on to my hand and said, "Don't worry, everything's going to be alright."

If only I knew then what I know now, I would have known at that time, that no matter how difficult the situation, no matter how tough the battle, it wasn't mine to fight, but God's. All He wanted from me was to believe in Him and see the salvation of the Lord who is with me. For it clearly says in Deuteronomy 3:22 "You must not fear them, for the Lord your God Himself fights for you." And in Is. 41:10-13 it says "Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yes, I will help thee; I will uphold thee with my victorious right hand."

To me, it was the Lord Himself who held my hand through the hand of my lawyer and who used his words to comfort me. It says in Hebrews 13:5 "I will never leave you nor forsake you." At about 8:00 p.m that same day, after completing the formalities of bail, I was released! The Lord finally got me out of that rotten cell. Of course, being released from the cell, didn't mean that was the end of my problems. After having discussed with my lawyer the pros and cons of my case, he told me, that it would cost KD 4,000/- up front and KD 4000/- once the case was over, a total of KD 8,000/-. Where could I arrange for such a huge amount of money? All I had with me was KD 700/-.

I could clearly hear the devil whisper, "I told you to throw in the towel, but you think this so called Jesus of yours will help you. Well, go, see if your Jesus can get you out of this one?" In all honesty, I do admit I did worry. Satan's evil whispers got me all
worked up. But I remembered God's word - Mark 11:24 "Therefore I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them." So I started praying to the Lord. I humbled myself before Him. I begged forgiveness for the wretched sinner that I am. And you know what, the Lord provided! After all, He is Jehovah Jireh our provider! He provided me with KD 3,400/-. I was still short of KD 600/-. I prayed again and asked the Lord to put compassion in my lawyer's heart. That is exactly what the Lord did. When I explained to my lawyer that I'm short of money, he told me not to worry, that the rest could be given to him with the other half of the amount. So there, the Lord proved Satan to be a liar and a deceiver! It clearly says in Revelation 12:9 "The devil and Satan, the deceiver of the whole world."

I know the road I'm presently traveling on is rather rough, there are many holes along the way, holes into which I could fall and get trapped. But I am, confident that everything will work out for His glory! I'm not afraid, I'm not wondering how I'm going to
make ends meet. Because Jesus will provide me with everything! If He could be there with me in that cell, He will be with me always! For it says in Phil 4:19 "The Lord will provide all my needs according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus." God is love and always will be. It is His name and His nature. Knowing this will bring me through every suffering. How can His love pass me by and fail to help when I am distressed and hurting? It just cannot, for His heart is love, His will is nothing but goodness and the paths along which He leads me are good.

And yes, my problems may not all be resolved immediately, but He has given me the strength to bear them. My burdens can no longer crush me. And when there are times when I feel confused, I say, "Father, thank you for loving me. I know now, that your will, in whatever form it comes to me, is nothing but loving kindness. And the path you are leading me on is good, even if I cannot understand it. You conceived this leading for me in your loving fatherly heart. It is good, whether I can make sense of it or not." I now trust the Lord with my whole heart and unlike I used to do before, I do not lean on my own understandings.

Today, I feel proud to say, "I am a happier person because I have learnt to wait upon the Lord for everything. I consider all those horrible things that happened, as God's calling for me to a deeper level in my spiritual walk with Him. But most of all, I believe that through the blood of Jesus I have been delivered from the power of Satan and the world that I allowed myself to be trapped in!" And someday, I will say, "I was in the battle field, but I didn't fight the battle. I stood and watched the salvation of my God! The Lord won every victory for me. The case is closed. I'm back at my job. My financial problems are over!" Praise God!

It was due to God's marvelous grace that I was given the chance to tell you about my testomony. I admit, I wasn't a serious Christian. I have been blessed with a new life, a new beginning in Jesus Christ. I am convinced that my experiences were designed to show me how little faith I had and how much I needed to trust in God and know that He was involved in things that
happened to me. I don't mean that He always causes bad things to happen just so He can teach us something. I mean that He causes us to be where we need to be so that we can learn what we need to learn. And this was my turning-point to lean on God more.

It has been agonizingly painful to recall the exact details, but I felt in the Spirit that I had to let the reader know eactly what I had gone through; it is proof that we have a wonderful Father in heaven who really loves us with a love that is beyond our
understanding. I will always be grateful to God, for His faithfulness and patience with me knows no bounds. The moment I cried out to him for help a war broke out between my Heavenly Father and Satan for my soul. And today, I belong to a wonderful kingdom, the kingdom of Heaven, because my Heavenly Father won the battle and my soul no longer belongs to Satan. I regret that I have been so slow a learner. I'm so thankful that God did not give up on me.

I cannot see into the future, but I know that "all things work together for good" for it says so in Romans 8:28 and though the Father may place burdens on me, He will always carry me with the load, sharing in my pain and distress. I may not have known this before, but I have a strong sense of the Lord's presence and I know He is in control. What stands out most clearly is the great mercy and compassion of God, who is truly close to me even in my present situation.

Even though the road ahead seems uncertain and the evil one tries to make me feel discouraged, I oppose him and say, "God is my helper" (Psalm 54:4). For at each new blow, each sad piece of news, each meaningless or incomprehensible leading, the Lord my God does all things well. It is right and best for me. It is His will. Everything springs forth from His loving heart, and His thoughts are always higher than our thoughts (Isaiah 55:9).

Even if the evil one is involved and seems to be directly responsible for the tragedy that has befallen me, nothing can happen to me without the permission of my heavenly Father.

I know for certain that, come what may, God will not abandon me and I can count on His continued love and care. Today, I gladly give praise and thanks to God for giving me strength to return to a daily routine.

All I ask is you pray for me.
God bless.
Ann.
annd14@yahoo.com
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1 Peter 5:7 "Cast your cares upon Him who cares for you"

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A Personal Challenge For You

The people of the world can be divided into two groups. The first group are those who can clearly point to the intervention of Jesus Christ in their lives. The second are those who cannot. If you are in this latter group PLEASE don't let another hour go past before you get right with God. He loves you and has a great plan for your life! But there must be change. If you are religious but can't point to a definite work of God in your life YOU NEED to get born again in the Bible way. To find out how to get right with God, click here now.

If however, you are in the first group and you have a testimony of Christ's working in your life, God wants you to share it. Read HERE about the power of your testimony. You can overcome Satan by the Word of your testimony, and help others to find faith in Christ.

Would you like to do this? If so, start writing your testimony as soon as you can, and THEN, e-mail your testimony to me here so we can publish it for you online. Post it on the testimonies bulletin board here. In this way you are helping to fulfil the Great Commission. Some testimonies on this site are reaching 10 or even 20 people per day. Our team wishes to help people share their testimonies through the internet. Let us together bring hope to those who don't know the reality of our wonderful Savior Jesus Christ.

Michael