Love, sex and relationships! We all want to be loved, appreciated and have pleasure and fulfilment in our lives. God gave us all the capacity to love and be loved, to have special friendships with others. He also gave us a sexual nature, and sexual desires. This was not just so that we would keep the human race going, but also because God wanted us to enjoy oneness with a life partner. This unity is actually a very powerful symbol of the way God wants it to be between us and Jesus Christ. That is what the Bible teaches!
Sex is a gift from God. It is not evil. But it is a powerful gift, and it can be abused or perverted.
Sex is like fire. In your fireplace it can keep your house warm. But if fire gets out of control it can burn your house down. It can even kill you. Sex is like that. Lots of people have now died of sexually transmitted diseases. Modern man may mock, but the best way to avoid diseases like AIDS, syphillus and others is to limit your sex life to just one lifelong partner who has not gotten infected with these diseases through promiscuity. And until you find that person, abstinence won't kill you. In fact, it will release a lot of creative energy which you can apply to achieving in many areas of life.
It seems a shame that people suffer so much and some die because of bad decisions with regard to their sex lives.
Here's a little illustrated comic on that theme. Its called That Crazy Guy!
My wife Marilena has written something as advice to girls who would
like to find the right partner! As soon as it is ready we will upload it
to the site. Write her if you would like to talk about it.
If you are married you can find good books in most Christian bookshops about how to enjoy your marriage relationship more and how to enrich it.
If you are single, wanting to be married, remember this: it is better
to be that way than to be married, wanting to be single!
Until you get married, learn to make friends, get to know people of
both sexes - but be strong enough to keep sexual activity right out of
your relationships until you have found your marriage partner, and the
date is set! Even then, keep your clothes on with each other if you want
to fully enjoy your marriage later.
Abstinence is not necessarily easy psychologically, but it does have its rewards. If you concentrate on being the kind of person worth being married to, then God will eventually bring you the right partner. I waited until I was 28 before I got married, and God has given me a wonderful wife. The years before that I was able to direct my energy into serving God, which was itself very fulfilling.
To be honest with you though, the power of the Holy Spirit available to a Christian is more powerful than sex. I know this from experience. Some may never believe or understand that - but it doesn't change the facts. I mean, the Holy Spirit IS God. He is more powerful than anything He created, including sex. God told us to be filled with the Holy Spirit. The lack of this sometimes leads people to search for fulfilment in sexual activity outside of God's guidelines. This kind of search will prove to be frustrating and ultimately destructive. I want to write now a little on
Sexual Sin
Fornication is when two unmarried people have a sexual relationship. Pre-marital sex is a form of fornication. The Bible says that fornicators and adulterers God will judge. Yet there is hope for those who turn from their sin.
Fornication is a rip-off for several reasons
If the relationship breaks up (and it usually does) someone is going to be badly hurt.
Later, when you marry your life partner, you will have flashbacks to the old relationship/s which will rob you of some of the joy of marriage, leaving you unsatisfied.
You can get sexually transmitted diseases through fornication. You might even die.
There will be a stronger barrier between you and God which you will find it difficult to overcome. A lot of people who claim to have "intellectual problems" with the gospel actually have a problem with sexual immorality.
Adultery
Adultery mean having a sexual relationship with somebody you are not married to, when either that person, you yourself or both of you are are married to someone else. Adultery is tirelessly promoted in the world's media. It is glamorised and exalted and lifted up. It is made to look so exciting, adventurous and fulfilling. What they generally don't show you is the heartache it causes. In real life, practising adultery will bring a curse on you and generally it will cost you financially. You may have to suffer struggles with a guilty conscience for a long time afterwards, if you commit adultery. God said, "You shall not commit adultery" because He made us, loves us and knows what is best for us. Rebelling against God always costs dearly - but in this matter this price is very high.
Why is God Against Adultery?
To commit adultery is not a smart move, no matter how bad the marriage is that you profane through the adulterous relationship. Here are some reasons why God is against adultery:
1. It hurts the one who was betrayed by adultery.
If you love someone and trust them, and then find out that they have
been sexually unfaithful to you, it is emotionally devastating to say the
least. God wants to protect people from this - therefore he forbids adultery.
2. To allow it would make every marriage insecure
Women in general pay the greater price in a relationship. Women are
usually emotionally more sensitive than men and often have a greater need
for love and security. To the extent that adultery and divorce are accepted
in society - to that extent women will be exploited and robbed of the security
and true love they need. Men also suffer when marriages break down. If
faithfulness in marriage was not important, then no marriage would be safe.
There are always going to be times when the thought comes that things could
be better with someone else. If there was no safeguard against this, families
would break down, and so would the moral fabric of society. Perhaps you
yourself have already been a victim of some of this.
3. It hurts the children
Children love to see that their parents love each other. They are hurt
when they can't see that - when they hear them fighting or saying bad things
to each ot
Get your free registration and log in to view entire article
sex and single
I am 66 years old and divorced twice. I have been single for 3 years and have recently started dating a very kind, considerate, and trustworthy man. Intimacy has been involved and it is beginning to bother me because I know from the Bible that it is not right. But also at our age we are not hurting anyone and we love each other. We also do not plan on marrying because of our financial affairs and the problems that would be involved with our heirs in the case of death. I am not seeking permission only some reasoning why it is wrong under the circumstances. I cannot continue to ask God to forgive me of my sins and then keep sinning. In some ways I do not consider this a sin, only a way of expressing our love.
Re: sex and single
Hi Gale, People who are 30 years younger than you make the same arguments, with the exception of heirs. Here are some reasons why it is wrong.
1) God says so and God knows what He is talking about. God is the one who knit you in the womb. He is the one with a hope and a future for you. He is the one with an eternal inheritance for those who love Him and keep His commandment. This first reason is the only reason you need to obey Him, but here are others in the hopes you will find the strength you need to resist the devil on this one.
2) The argument, "it is not hurting anyone" is false. You have children and grandchildren who are old enough to see what is going on. You are setting an example and if "even grandma can do it, certainly I can." If your presupposition is true that it is not hurting you, it certainly is false for those who will take silent note of your example. The devil will use it to grease their paths to destruction.
3) How do you "recently" start dating someone and get to this point so quickly? How quickly will you tire of him, or he of you? When will you find another compassionate man and decide to 'express your love' with him? How many others has he 'expressed his love' for? You both are engaging in behavior that encourages sexually transmitted diseases.
4) Like it or not, there are psychological ties and bonding that occur. God intended these for the commitment of marriage. Your love for each other is not greater than your concerns for finances and inheritances, so why should it be greater than God's simple command? There are ways to set your wills to handle inheritance issues, are there not? Yes it may be complicated, but having sex with someone is complicated isn't it? And that is why you are here, because the fact is you ARE hurting someone. Yourself.
Gale, these words may appear harsh, but I am simply seeking to answer your question, "why is it wrong?" It is hard to answer that question without appearing harsh. The devil will perhaps say God's way is heartless. But, we all have a choice - Do I believe God even when human reason fails me, or do I let the devil tell me what an out of touch God I serve, and then follow the slippery slope to hell?
There are more reasons, or better ones out there for your situation so I will leave room for other responses....
Matthew 7:13-14 "Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat: Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it."
Strait, is not easy sister, but it is THE way. Your deeds are impacting not only your eternal inheritance, but that of your children and grandchildren. You need to heed the Lord, and I hope these reasons will give you the courage and strength to do that. There are a thousand other ways to express your love for each other, and they are Godly ones, too!
I'll leave you with the words of our loving Savior, "Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee? Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more.... I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life. John 8:10-12.
Blessings and Peace,
Timothy
Marriage
I'm 26 and been married for seven years. throughout those years my husband has been cheating on me. I know god is against divorce, but i simply cant live like this anymore. My intuition is telling me that there is someone else out there for me. Would god punish me if i divorced in search of true love?
The LOVE I've always been looking for!
My life's story has been one of rebellion. I have looked for love in all the wrong places.
I left home at 16, was pregnant at 17. I named my baby girl, Charity Dawn (in her little life, God's LOVE dawned on me). She was born with a serious congenital heart defect. I didn't know that the word charity in the old english, meant LOVE (1 Cor. 13:13), but I started to attend church during her first year of life. I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Saviour and was baptized at the age of 18,(October 1976) and my precious daughter died after her second open heart surgery on November 13, 1976 just prior to my 19th birthday (she was not quite 17 months old).
To make the story short.....I entered into a path of rebellion against God, I was angry, I (in my ignorant state of comprehension) felt abandoned.
I thought I was okay, I functioned somewhat normally, I worked, married, had two beautiful children, started and operated my own business, only to begin to crash after a 14 year marriage failed.
Since the end of my marriage, I entered into many sexual failed relationships.
My second marriage was full of miracles, revelations and a very Holy experience, I share it in my other testimonies here in other areas of this site.
I have been dropped to my knees many times, broken hearted and cried out to God, but still making my own decisions and not completely surrendering to God. The final blow and surrender has happened this April 2007.
The story of my life is an "unfolding" and even though I have made poor choices, I have sinned over and over again, God has never abandoned me, he has continued to work in my heart and my whole life finally crashed this year (I can relate to being broken).
I'm not saying that my sin is justified, but I see how God has used the direct consequences from those sins/choices to draw me closer to him. Looking back I can see how God used all situations, the things that the enemy of our souls, used to lie/destroy/attack/condemn/steal from me, how God used these very same things to draw me closer to Him.
No matter how broken my heart has been, no matter how badly I have believed others have betrayed me, used me, dishonored me, ect....I learned that ultimately....I did those very things to GOD! It was I who had broken God's heart, betrayed HIM, rejected HIM. It was I who put the "love of men" before the "love of God", so now in that realization, I have confessed my sins, repented and am looking to God and trusting HIM for all the answers. Also, it has helped me to forgive those who have done these things to me, because it was I who ultimately did this to God and because He forgives me, who am I to withhold forgiveness?
I am not looking for love in all the wrong places anymore, GOD IS LOVE....I look to Him for this now. Common-law relationships is a LIE from our enemy - I have learned this lesson and surrendered this area.
It's amazing how God has shown his love, answered prayers and is revealing himself. His call to me is that he desires me intimately and NO ONE can love me the way HE does!
I have given him every area of my life, I am His work in progress. My spiritual walk is not about perfection, it's about progress! All fall short of God's glorious standard! (Romans 3:23)
I AM A NEW CREATION IN CHRIST and not living as I used to, not making choices I used to, not deciding how I would live as I used to! I know I will make mistakes along the way, and I know God will continue to love, forgive, instruct and discipline me. Humility is a powerful key to surrendering everything to our Most High God.
God bless you and keep you! Sincerely, in Christ, Debra
Post new comment