There are many things that the Lord has done for me in my life and am just now starting to see them. Sure, there were times I knew he had done things here and there for me, but it wasn’t until recently that I really saw the happiness that He gives me.
I have in the past suffered with some issues of abandonment from the men in my life, which led me to emotional turmoil, panic attacks, and fear of abandonment. First there was my father, who first was divorced by my mother when I was 4, and then was killed when I was 7 1/2. My mother raised me alone with my brother who is a year older than me. My brother decided to go into the marine corps, and left home at 18.(He was really the only other man in my life, besides my boyfriend from high school). I had fallen in love w/ a boy from high school and he was going to go into the Navy. We were in fact engaged to be married at 17(him being 18), and he was to leave in a few months. I had no idea that I would start to become panicked. At this point in my life, I had not received Christ as my savior, even though I thought I had as a child, and I began to be snowballed by all the men in my life leaving me, either through death or going away. It was Oct. of 93, when a boy in my high school committed suicide and that was the point I realized, I did not know if I was gonna see the Lord or not when I died. I had also been experiencing panic attacks quite frequently at this point, along w/ stomach problems, etc. I gave my life to Jesus on October 10, 1993. This was my point where I knew He was the only way I could overcome these things.
I have overcome panic attacks and fear with the Lord’s help. I also don’t have the kind of stomach problems I had anymore. I did end up marrying my high school sweet heart at 18 and we are still happily married. We have two beautiful children that are blessings from the Lord. We are very happy and know that our blessings come from above. The Lord has shown me that I am allowed to be happy if I just trust Him and that is what I have chosen to do. He has become the father I really never had and the friend I always need.