Redeemed from the Pit of Suicide and Mental illness

http://redeemedfromthepitofsuicide.blogspot.com/
I am a survivor of attempted suicide, however it is by no power of my own. This blog is not about me per se but the one who has redeemed my life from the pit of suicide and mental illness. Allow me to introduce you, his name is Jesus Christ. Now I know what you may be thinking but this blog isn’t about religion but a relationship…

Why do some individuals make attempts?

The clock on the microwave read 2:42 as I stepped into my grandmother’s kitchen. The afternoon sun filtered through closed blinds and the adjoining sun room. Snow blanketed the ground and the sky was clear. It was Saturday, January 19th 2002, a beautiful, perfect winter day. But rather than stare at a hill with a sled in hand, bottles of pills for depression and Bipolar Disorder held my gaze. I felt like I had blinders on. All I could see was the dosage in my hand. I took my daily allotment. But my eyes were still glued to the bottles on the counter made of light tan tile. In contrast the white of the pills stood out against the orange of the bottles. Nothing else existed. Without thought or feeling something clicked in the recesses of my mind. I reached for a bottle and opened it. The prescription was filled yesterday. A thirty day supply became a one day supply. I tilted my head back, swallowed and in the course of the next hour or so I ingested the other bottle, also recently filled, as well as, 78 Aspirin, 60 tablets of Tylenol PM, 28 Klonopin, 10+- Coumadin, unknown amount of Verapamil and Lanoxin. In all I consumed over 300 pills.
Why did I do this? In a word: hope. To explain…

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