Need some prayer…feel desperate

Hi. Firstly I hope everyone else is doing ok and I will be praying for you too.

I’m a 42 year old mum, just been through nearly six months of horrible depression and during that time, a series of medical tests which really shook me up. Not only that, I had a bunch of spiritual issues that I was trying to sort through at the same time. I could barely get out of bed some days and cried pretty much constantly.

Things have improved a little but I am having some pnysical pain lately which is worrying me and I still tend to relapse into a bit of fear & depression. I get irritable with my 7 year old son which is breaking my heart because he is noticing that I’m getting angry with him, and the last thing I want to do is damage his self-esteem. My mother used to treat me this way and I remember never really feeling accepted by her. My marriage of 15 years is also faltering a bit because of everything that’s been going on. I believe God is there and he’s answered my prayers in the past, but I really feel alone right now. Please keep me in your prayers as I don’t feel strong enough to get through it on my own. Thank you.

Leigh

What do YOU think?

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Comments

  1. Caroline Taylor says:

    Dear friends I think of how Paul greeted Timothy, his son in the faith, by beginning his letter with uplifting words of encouragement and blessing, “Grace, Mercy, and peace from God…” What an encouragement just in knowing that we are loved & cared for enough that someone directly verbalizes such blessings desiring that they be delivered into the fullness that the Father has for our lives. Be uplifted knowing you are certainly loved by the family of God with those who will actually pray on your behalf for you! The interesting thing however is that beyond the prayers of others, the words of one’s own desperation expressed very simply and briefly, “God be merciful to me…” (the brevity ever so appreciated when the heart is already pointedly exhausted to thorough despair)…interestingly though, such a place of helpless resignation places each and every person into a perfect place for deliverance. Our utter helplessness actually turns …” God, be merciful to me a sinner.” into a launchpad for unsurpassed divine intervention into our lives. That is what we all need! Somehow we may feel that we don’t qualify, but this is exactly how this man when he prayed felt. Luke 18:10 says that as he uttered his prayer, “he dared not even lift his eyes to heaven”, furthermore, he so despised his own life-shattering failings before a holy Creator that he, “beat on his breast” -a self-deprecating display that he felt utterly unworthy. However, such places of extreme desperation places us strategicly in a position for absolute deliverance. (Forgive the length of this reply…), but whether in 1 John where we find we “have an advocate (one who contends for us) with Jesus Christ” or that he “ever lives to make intercession for us”. I’m so glad he prays for us! or Heb 4:15&16 where He expresses “We have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was IN ALL POINTS tempted like as we are, yet without sin. 16-Let us therefore come boldly…(‘timidly’ works too, but ‘boldness’) IS OUR THRONE ROOM INVITATION! The gifts we find awaiting you & I are “Mercy and Grace to help in [our] time of need”. The Christmas season isn’t far off now and I think of how we ought to take the example of the excitement that children have at the holidays. They search & find the gifts wrapped under the tree for them and then are so anxious that they beg & plead to be able to open them. Our Heavenly Father so generously doesn’t makes us wait for our desperately needed gifts, but declares that we can obtain (receive) His mercy & grace anytime there is a need! He promises us that OUR gift-opening moment will always be…”in our time of need”. So here…I’ll hold the bow while you do the unwrapping friend!
    — In Christ’s Love, Caroline

    PS. Grace & Mercy will always sustain till the ‘storm passes over’.

  2. It’s been to long that my heart has been lost in the darkness. I once had a spiritual relationship with God,I was saved and baptised and tried to live my life in a christian way as much as I could. However with the problems I have had in the past years with divorce, money problems, bad choices , and adultry I have found myself so far from God that I dont know how to get back. I need some one to pray for me that I will allow God to fill my life again and make me a new person. I know I am a christian, but I can’t seem to die to my old self and ways. I know that God must have a purpose for me since he has allowwed me to go on this long without living for him. I’m in really need of a prayer warrior to ask God to reach down and touch me I don’t want to live a life of bitterness and anger anymore. Thank you for your time and prayers. I found this site on line tonight I feel that God has sent me here for a reason.

    God bless you all.

    Robbie

    • I have prayed for you. But no one can take the responsibility for your relationship with God – only you can. So even through all the darkness, I would encourage you to put your trust in God and throw yourself on Him for mercy. Turn away from all your sin. Fill your mind and heart with godly things, give no place to the devil. You have to start planting godly seeds, to expect a godly harvest.

      If you would like to chat with me online please send me a private message and I’ll give you my id.

  3. Faith_Hope_love says:

    Leigh,

    I was touched by your request for prayer. I, too, have dealt with the power of depression in my life. My story is I was raised in the church and only recently realized what I thought was faith was in fact just empty religiosity. It was powerless – and so was I – against the wiles of satan, and I continued to feel victimized. “My people are dying for lack of knowledge.” Hos. 4:6 I didn’t understand that my tongue had the power to anchor me in Truth or lies. I finally started experiencing victory when I began praying scripture and refusing to accept the negative thoughts. I countered every accusing, depressing thought with God’s promises of love and overcoming power. Almost immediately I started to gain power over depression (fear, circumstances, etc.).

    I don’t know that my experiences echo your life, but I want you to know I understand the power of negative thoughts and how hard it is to break that habitual way of thinking…and know I will be praying for you.

    Gayle

  4. Pastor_Tim says:

    Dear Leigh,

    I have 4 children, the eldest is 7 years old. I did not know the spiritual package that came with me as a parent. The sins of the fathers are passed to the third and fourth generation. By the grace of God we can repent and renounce those sins and be set free from the bondage they bring.

    I recall my firstborn crying and fussing as an infant and I had an anger rise up within me that I did not know I could have, especially after 15 years of marriage and no children. One would think she could do no wrong. Yet I had to walk her to her crib and gently, but in a very controlled way, lay her down and walk out of the room for her sake.

    This showed me the ‘devils’ my father had not overcome when I was a child. They were there to find their inheritance in me now as though they had a ‘time release’ that became effective when I became a parent. I have gotten great victory over this anger business and still have some areas of sanctification to undergo.

    God can heal, and will heal when we earnestly seek Him on His terms and not ours. You have a package of baggage to deal with it sounds like.

    May I offer an example of something I noticed in my life that may or may not shed light on your situation? Thanks!

    I was despondant over being a window cleaner, when my heart is so much into ministry. I had a pain shoot down my arm while working. In my mind I was almost comforted that this might offer me a way out of window cleaning and God could then use me full time in ministry.

    I had fear and depression at the general time of the pain. It recurred a number of times. Each time, I had to say ‘no’ to the thought of “wouldn’t it be great if I got disability and was able to minister full time?” God does not send [though He can ‘use’ it] injury to open the door for ministry. I was not going to listen to a spirit of infirmity that was tempting me with a Godly desire.

    With the fear and depression in your life it would not be out of place to expect pain. “Fear has torment” says 1 John 4:18. Pain is a form of torment. “Whosoever fears in not made perfect in love,” is part of that verse as well. This is GREAT NEWS. It means for you sister that since Jesus came so we may be free to be perfected in love, that also means you are totally in God’s will to be set free from your fears. That should help release you from the grip of depression and I expect the pain you are feeling – if it is not tied to a specific medical problem – will go as quietly as it came.

    “I will NEVER leave you nor forsake you.” Jesus.

    “The eyes of the Lord run to and fro upon the face of the earth to see if there are any that do seek after Him, that He may show Himself strong on their behalf.”

    “Fear not little flock, it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom.”

    There is nothing going on here dear sister that repentance and forgiveness will not free you from. You asked for prayer and I gave you something different. Allow me this prayer for you….

    “Father in heaven. Thank you for being a loving father who desires the very best for us, even when we are not at our very best. Lord God, I pray for Leigh that you would strengthen her heart in the journey. She is not alone because you are with her always. Lord grant her eyes to see the working of hell that is in force to undermine her. Grant her repentance to come out of agreement with the lies she has been tormented with and has believed – about herself, about you and about her significant others. Father, I pray that the peace of Jesus, which passes all understanding, would surround her as a cloak and warm her at this time. Grant clarity of vision for where she now stands, and where it is you would have her stand. I pray you give Leigh the courage to rise up and be more than a conqueror through Jesus Christ our Lord, in whose name we pray, amen.”

    Blessings and shalom,
    Tim
    http://www.perfectinglove.com

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