I used to be a devout believer in Christ. I always had my ups and downs really though. I dont feel that my faith is strong. When things go wrong my faith goes down, and that leads to a life of sin. I want to get back on track, but im at a time of my life where I need God, need him to help me with things that are coming up in my life, but I feel that I dont want to go back to God because I need something.
Need some help
need some help
im a 34 year old male in need of some prayer im married with 3 kids and as of tonight i just relized how far off i am with my walk with god .About 3 years ago we moved to a new town found a church started going my wife become involed with childrens church vbs etc things were going good money wise tithing like suposse to but it was all a lie from my stand point. i didnt like going i hated every sunday going there and would find resons not to go and begin talking her from going every sunday to when it was her time to teach . I began to drink heavily everyday was lets just say a bad husband and father always arguing with wife in front of kids to point of wanting to leave and me or her saying we hated being married to each other in front of kids . well we were living paycheck to pay check not having enough money to pay bills not because we didnt make enough but because we would spend it first then worry bout how to pay them back almost lost our house at 1 pointe but borrowed money to save it . I knew why this was happening but didnt wont to admit it i had lost my way with god and family .we quit church all together well about 4 months ago my wife was invited to a new church by her friend we went that sunday they really wanted to go i could have cared less because i fig i had failed as a husband and a dad .i went anyway and come to find out i really enjoyed it we started going reg things were getting better when im sure the devil didnt like it and made me belive everything would be ok again so i convinced my self and my family that it was ok to skip a few sundays we would be fine went back drinking again looking at things on tv and internet i shouldnt well just tonight we got a letter from a attorney who is going to start foreclosure again . well i got this very sick filling in my heart i know that this is the devil at work but i cant seem to shake it here it is christmas and i got this to deal with went outside my house and prayed to god to help with my situation and to help me become better christian and husband and father to my kids cause really im at the point of just walking away from everyone and starting over myself .I know prayer works because i didnt mention this yet but when i was 21 i was diagnosed with luekimia i almost died in the hospital .you here people say they saw a ligjt well i tell you the truth i saw the bright light and i was screaning for help i remeber it was like a hollow tube i was in screaming and was like no 1 could here me .Well when i recoverd my mother told me my blood presure was 10/20 dont remeber my heart rate just know it was very low she said she called all her friends and they had a all night prayer for me well here i am today 11 years out cancer free > i know prayer works i just cant figure out how to keep the devil away .so please pray for me and my situation thanks