God makes a way for us when we have a burning desire to know Him. It is rightly said that those who seek the LORD will indeed find Him and those who are thirsty the LORD will quench their thirst with Living Water.
It was in April 2006 that one of my friend introduced me to an evangelist and the brother immediately invited me to a crusade. When I shared about this to my friend and she agreed to come along with me. I was so excited that day. I had never been to a crusade earlier. When the program began, my heart started to beat very fast. Very word that the evangelist was preaching touched my heart. I was becoming spiritually restless. Finally, he began calling people to come in front to give their life to Christ and to receive Holy Spirit. Many people went and they were touched by the Holy Spirit. Then, I could not stop my feet and asked my friend to come along with me to the front so that I could be blessed too. But, despite of my prayers and crying, I did not receive the Holy Spirit. The evangelist prayed for me. I never cried for my sins like that day. I was asking God to reveal to me where I was wrong. I had loved Him all my life yet I felt He did not choose me. When we came out of the crusade I asked my friend to help me find my sin which had become a barrier between me and my LORD. I believe God spoke through her and she said “You have to choose one path; you cannot follow Christ and your rituals of Hinduism together. You cannot put your feet in two boats at one time. You have to choose one and completely leave the other”. What she said struck me and I understood how I was still living and following the rituals of Hinduism though I believed in Christ. That moment I made a decision that I will choose and follow Christ and leave all my ties with Hinduism.
In few days I asked her to purchase a Bible for me. When she bought the Bible I was so happy. I began reading it everyday and every free time I got. I prayed to God to forgive me for my sins and there began my quest for the LORD. My family was wondering why I had left their rituals. They always saw me with the Bible and they started putting obstacles so that I could not devote my time reading the Words of God. Anyway, I was doing it and my zeal was to know the LORD and be filled with His Presence. I wanted to have the Holy Spirit too.
Secretly, I was praying to God to lead me to another crusade before I had to move out of Nagaland for job and studies. On 5th August in the evening my friend suddenly came and invited me for a Crusade with the theme “Revival’s Fire” in her tribe’s Church which is really a very big Church. I did not tell her how much I have prayed to the LORD for this day. In the Church as the session began, I did not understand or listened to what the preacher was saying. I still don’t know whether he preached these words from the Book of Ruth that a woman was praying to God that the LORD will bless her or she will die there. Since that day I had tried to find this story in Bible but I haven’t. I perceived it in my Spirit. I was feeling like the most broken person as I sat there with no tears in my eyes but my heart aching for the LORD telling Him just these words “You know how much I love You, how I came to seek forgiveness for all my sins, how I desire to live for You and without You there is no meaning to my life and my life is just a waste.” I said “LORD, You have to bless me today with Your Spirit or take my life away from me. I cannot be without You and the blood of my death be not upon me because I have come to You with complete surrender yet if You don’t receive me where else will I go. I don’t want to leave the Church without being blessed so either bless me right here or let me die this moment.” When the preacher began calling people in front, I don’t know how but I stood up from my sit and found myself standing in front and praise God for He blessed me with His Holy Spirit there. He answered my prayers and I was crying with joy of the LORD.
Following that day on 6th August 2006 on Sunday, it was the final day of the Crusade and once again my friend came to call me to attend the afternoon session for youth. She knew I always had a question in my mind that why are so many religions in the world and what will happen to unbelievers in the end who does not know about Christ. We were divided in groups and my question was not put up before the evangelist. The leader told me that she will help me to speak to the evangelist after the service. During break before evening service would start, I was with my friend in one corner because the crowd was very big. But, the LORD had directed the evangelist to find me even before the leader told him about me. He came and directly asked me that “You have a question right?” I said “yes” and he called me away from the crowd to speak to him. There he asked me about my life. Immediately after that He said “I see Jesus in you”. That moment I felt a heavenly touch in me. When I put my question before him. He said he had heard similar questions earlier in his life. He said more things but I don’t exactly remember. He ended up saying I’ll find answer to my question in my own time and God’s way. He prayed for me and in a way was prophesying that the LORD had chosen me and I will do great things for His Kingdom. I will go through persecution and trials after which God will bless me abundantly. My family will be saved too. When evening session began, I said to my friend that I was feeling very different as if there was vacuum and holiness enveloping me. The Church was fully packed and if I’m not wrong there were more than 1500 people. All around me I saw only people of my friend’s tribe. Then I heard the evangelist speaking about me and my friend was asking me to listen to him. It was a long session and at the end he said we are going to have a revival here. Everyone began to sing song for the Holy Spirit to come and in the middle of the song I felt the Spirit of the LORD coming strongly over me and I was overtaken by Him Who made me. I fell down on my sit where I was standing. I was not in control of my body for the Spirit of the LORD was in me. Then the elders of the Church came to take me. I didn’t sense by body but my Spirit was awake. I was feeling lighter than air. I felt such a deep and overflowing anointing on me. I was so glad and in my Spirit was praising the LORD that He had chosen me among the many people there. I was a sinner but He had shown such great favor on me. The burden of the Church was upon me and I was crying uncontrollably. Though I was at the back with the elders, I felt I was in front because I would feel every person who went in front was coming to me. If I start to write my feeling of those moments, I can write a book. I was really in the Presence of God before His Throne. I said these words to the LORD that from that moment onwards I am His and every moment I live will be for Him. God revealed to me that I will go through many trials and after that He will bless me abundantly to use me for His Kingdom.
After the session ended and immediately after I stepped my feet out of the Church I got a call from my mother, who had always loved and favored me and she began cursing and rebuking me because I had gone to seek after the LORD. My family was never so against my faith prior to that. But as the LORD revealed my persecutions and trials began right after His Spirit came to me.
For many days until, my parents sent me to New Delhi. I strongly felt the Spirit of God and so even when my mother and everyone else cursed and spoke bad about me, I did not feel anything but was praying to the LORD to forgive them because they didn't know Him. This behavior of staying silent was more problematic to my mother who had known me as a person who when right would not stop convicting others for their wrongs until they finally agreed with me or left me. My mother was praying to her gods to take me away from Jesus Christ. She used to say to me that she also had a picture of Christ along with her other gods and so she believed Christ too. I need not submit to only Christ. I replied her nothing inspite of all accusations and suggestion, curses and rebukes. Something that made me smile was when she asked me to forget Christ for her sake and the sake of her gods like mother of teenagers asking their daughter to forget their boyfriend. May be she had also seen how much I was in love with Jesus. Truly like a Bride crazy for her Bridegroom.