Love, sex and relationships! We all want to be loved, appreciated and
have pleasure and fulfilment in our lives. God gave us all the capacity
to love and be loved, to have special friendships with others. He also
gave us a sexual nature, and sexual desires. This was not just so that
we would keep the human race going, but also because God wanted us to enjoy
oneness with a life partner. This unity is actually a very powerful symbol
of the way God wants it to be between us and Jesus Christ. That is what
the Bible teaches!
Sex is a gift from God. It is not evil. But it is a powerful gift, and
it can be abused or perverted.
Sex is like fire. In your fireplace it can keep your house warm. But
if fire gets out of control it can burn your house down. It can even kill
you. Sex is like that. Lots of people have now died of sexually transmitted
diseases. Modern man may mock, but the best way to avoid diseases like
AIDS, syphillus and others is to limit your sex life to just one lifelong
partner who has not gotten infected with these diseases through promiscuity.
And until you find that person, abstinence won’t kill you. In fact, it
will release a lot of creative energy which you can apply to achieving
in many areas of life.
It seems a shame that people suffer so much and some die because of
bad decisions with regard to their sex lives.
Here’s a little illustrated comic on that theme. Its called That
My wife Marilena has written something as advice to girls who would
like to find the right partner! As soon as it is ready we will upload it
to the site. Write her if you would like to talk about it.
If you are married you can find good books in most Christian bookshops
about how to enjoy your marriage relationship more and how to enrich it.
If you are single, wanting to be married, remember this: it is better
to be that way than to be married, wanting to be single!
Until you get married, learn to make friends, get to know people of
both sexes – but be strong enough to keep sexual activity right out of
your relationships until you have found your marriage partner, and the
date is set! Even then, keep your clothes on with each other if you want
to fully enjoy your marriage later.
Abstinence is not necessarily easy psychologically, but it does have
its rewards. If you concentrate on being the kind of person worth being
married to, then God will eventually bring you the right partner. I waited
until I was 28 before I got married, and God has given me a wonderful wife.
The years before that I was able to direct my energy into serving God,
which was itself very fulfilling.
To be honest with you though, the power of the Holy Spirit available
to a Christian is more powerful than sex. I know this from experience.
Some may never believe or understand that – but it doesn’t change the facts.
I mean, the Holy Spirit IS God. He is more powerful than anything He created,
including sex. God told us to be filled with the Holy Spirit. The lack
of this sometimes leads people to search for fulfilment in sexual
activity outside of God’s guidelines. This kind of search will prove
to be frustrating and ultimately destructive. I want to write now a little
Fornication is when two unmarried people
have a sexual relationship. Pre-marital sex is a form of fornication.
The Bible says that fornicators and adulterers God will judge. Yet there
is hope for those who turn from their sin.
Fornication is a rip-off for several reasons
If the relationship breaks up (and it usually does) someone is going
to be badly hurt.
Later, when you marry your life partner, you will have flashbacks to
the old relationship/s which will rob you of some of the joy of marriage,
leaving you unsatisfied.
You can get sexually transmitted diseases through fornication. You might
There will be a stronger barrier between you and God which you will
find it difficult to overcome. A lot of people who claim to have “intellectual
problems” with the gospel actually have a problem with sexual immorality.
Adultery mean having a sexual relationship with somebody you are not
married to, when either that person, you yourself or both of you are are
married to someone else. Adultery is tirelessly promoted in the world’s
media. It is glamorised and exalted and lifted up. It is made to look so
exciting, adventurous and fulfilling. What they generally don’t show you
is the heartache it causes. In real life, practising adultery will bring
a curse on you and generally it will cost you financially. You may have
to suffer struggles with a guilty conscience for a long time afterwards,
if you commit adultery. God said, “You shall not commit adultery” because
He made us, loves us and knows what is best for us. Rebelling against God
always costs dearly – but in this matter this price is very high.
Why is God Against Adultery?
To commit adultery is not a smart move, no matter how bad the marriage
is that you profane through the adulterous relationship. Here are some
reasons why God is against adultery:
1. It hurts the one who was betrayed by adultery.
If you love someone and trust them, and then find out that they have
been sexually unfaithful to you, it is emotionally devastating to say the
least. God wants to protect people from this – therefore he forbids adultery.
2. To allow it would make every marriage insecure
Women in general pay the greater price in a relationship. Women are
usually emotionally more sensitive than men and often have a greater need
for love and security. To the extent that adultery and divorce are accepted
in society – to that extent women will be exploited and robbed of the security
and true love they need. Men also suffer when marriages break down. If
faithfulness in marriage was not important, then no marriage would be safe.
There are always going to be times when the thought comes that things could
be better with someone else. If there was no safeguard against this, families
would break down, and so would the moral fabric of society. Perhaps you
yourself have already been a victim of some of this.
3. It hurts the children
Children love to see that their parents love each other. They are hurt
when they can’t see that – when they hear them fighting or saying bad things
to each other. When marriages break up through adultery the children are
emotionally scarred, and may be left without one of their parents
4. It is expensive
The people who really make money out of adultery are divorce lawyers.
The divorce courts eat up the financial resources of those whose marriages
fail due to adultery. Often houses must be sold below the market price
to make quick settlements. This is one of the least of the reasons why
adultery is bad but it does count for something. After all, we spend a
lot of our time earning money. Why throw it away?
It seems to just be the way it is that whoever you sleep with gets your
money. Prostitutes know that. A whole industry has grown up around that
5. It Means Breaking Important Promises
How can a person commit adultery without also being a liar and a covenant
breaker? Can we trust such people who betray the ones that are closest
6. It Gives the Devil an Opportunity to Steal from Us
You may not believe that the devil exists, but I’m telling you, you
will see the results of his influence if you commit adultery. He then has
a legal right to put a curse on you. Evil spirits will steal your peace,
joy – possibly even your health and life.
What Can Be Done for Those Already Burned by the Fire of Sexual Sin?
The good news of Jesus Christ means that anyone caught in sexual sin
can experience forgiveness and restoration. It may or may not be possible
for relationships to be restored the way God meant them to be, but two
relationships can be restored: (1) Your relationship with God, and (2)
Your relationship with yourself.
Jesus, because He paid for the guilt of your sin, can offer you forgiveness
if you turn from it. He gives you the power to turn from it if you want
to know the new life he can give you. Jesus is real and has forgiven hundreds
of thousands of adulterers down through the ages. To receive his forgiveness,
you yourself must also forgive. Unless you forgive others who have hurt
you, God will not forgive you. Therefore please forgive others, and ask
God for forgiveness.
I have no doubt that many talented, cultured people have become homosexuals
at some stage in their lives. Homosexuals are valuable people too! But
none of this make homosexuality right.
No matter what people say, the God of the Bible is against homosexual
behavior. Homosexuals may shake their fist at God and try to convince everyone,
including themselves, that they were born that way, but it is a lie. It
may be a politically correct lie, but it is still a lie.
People are recruited into the homosexual movement. They are not born
that way. Often boys who did not grow up with a father are vulnerable to
seeking male love through homosexuality.
There is the interesting account of an intelligent young man who turned
from homosexuality to Christ in the book, Miracles
Still Happen found on this site. Please check it out.
Here is a comic (Doom
Town) which contains a compassionate plea to homosexuals
to turn before it is too late.
I am familiar with so-called Biblical defenses of homosexuality and
I think they hold no water. A Christian homosexual is a contradiction in
terms! Practising homosexuals can become Christians, and it can even happen
the other way, but no one is both.
A Brief Summary against so-called Biblical Arguments Permitting Homosexuality
The sin of Sodom was not just selfishness, pride, inhospitality
or lack of compassion – though all these sins were certainly present (Ezekiel
16:49). The sin of Sodom was homosexuality.
“as Sodom and Gomorrah, and the cities around them in a similar manner
to these, having given themselves over to sexual immorality and gone
after strange flesh, are set forth as an example, suffering the vengeance
of eternal fire.” (Jude 7).
The men of Sodom wanted to know the angels sexually. Lot tried
to appease them by offering his own virgin daughters, who had never known
a man (Genesis 19:8). The meaning of “know” here in this passage
is obviously sexual.
Homosexuality is condemned not only in the law of Moses, but also in
the New Testament. The fact that it is called an “abomination” in in the
Old Testament should give us a clue as to how God feels about it. Paul
wrote these words, inspired by the Holy Spirit.
“For this reason God gave them up to vile passions. For even
the women exchanged the natural use for what is against nature.
Likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned
in their lust for one another, men with men committing what is shameful,
and receiving in themselves the penalty of the error which was due.”
Paul says nothing here about homosexuality being wrong because of its
association with temple idolatry, and everything about its being shameful,
vile and against nature. Just as adultery is wrong with or
without temple idolatry, so is homosexuality.
Homosexuality is against essential nature, not merely against “sociological
nature”. We were not designed to have sex with the same sex. Isn’t that
When 1 Corinthians 6:19 speaks of “homosexual offenders” (NIV) it means
the offense of homosexuality. It is not talking about homosexuals who happened
to be offensive in some unspecified way, but about people whose offense
was homosexual practices. The book of Jude and 2 Peter are very clear.
There is no one so blind as those who don’t want to see. God is not
asking your permission to tell you what is right or wrong. He is not going
to have a vote about it. One day you will die. Will you be ready to face
the One who gave you a way out of the very things that were destroying
you? Its not too late to turn to God.
It is clear that homosexuals, who have gained a major influence in today’s
secular media, are on a militant campaign to change the way society sees
their behaviour. Most homosexuals are open mockers of God and Christian values.
But God will not allow Himself to be mocked forever. A loving Savior will one
day become a severe judge – not just against homosexuals, but against every
other kind of unrepentant sinner – be they “Christian” or not.