Letting go of the past

   I have been through a lot in my short life. Seeing my parents fight and hit eachother, being hit a lot as a kid, was molested by my older sisters friend, saw my mother go through severe depression and certain days she acted like she didn’t know who we were. At 11 years old I had to grow up and help care for my mother, and take care of myself. I suffered with the thoughts, “What is wrong with me if my own father abandoned me?” Then with relationships I’ve had a lot of heart ache, and I’ve had a lot of self-esteem issues that manifests as trust issues within my relationships with men, and now with my marriage to the man I love. I’ve always seemed to hold onto all these things I mentioned. I take a step forward, but always looking back. I cling onto the mistakes people make that hurt me, which threatens the relationships I have. I have had a lot of resentment towards my father, and even my mother for acting like if she didn’t have a man by her side then she didn’t want to live anymore. It has always been something that holds me back in my new aspirations and in life in general. I’ve prayed and prayed that I may be blessed with the strength, forgiveness, and patience to let go of these things and move on. I have recently been taking the small steps necessary to move forward with my life. God has blessed with an acceptance that I went through all these things to learn from them, and become stronger. To be better able to appreciate the wonderful things about life. God is slowly taking off a ton a day of this burden I have carried with me. Everyday I feel lighter. And it is because I have accepted God and His blessings into my life. Praise the Lord! In Jesus name…

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