Judgement or Discretion

Hi everybody. I hope that everyone is having a blessed day. My topic of concern today is about judgement and discretion. Recently a male was trying to getting to know me and potentially date me. However, this male was using illegal drugs and I was not comfortable with that. So one day while I was visiting him, he pulled that stuff out in front of me like I’m supposed to sit there and be cool with that after I have already asked him about it. In addition I had suspected that he was using drugs earlier because of how his room smelled. Ultimately, we stopped talking to each other. When I told a friend about that, she said I was judging. As a Christian, I aim not to judge but I try to keep myself from around people who do things that could potentially get themselves and others in trouble. So I call it discretion. My question to you all is: Do you think I’m wrongfully judging because I’m not interested in a dating a male who uses illegal drugs?

What do YOU think?

comments

Comments

  1. bornagainbytheblood says:

    chanell wrote: “My question to you all is: Do you think I’m wrongfully judging because I’m not interested in a dating a male who uses illegal drugs?”

    Answer: Absolutely not! You can pray for him in sincerity, but that does not mean you need to date him or hang out with him. We must separate ourselves from bad influences, as there is to be no fellowship with unrighteousness. It is not your Christian obligation to entertain sin.

    2 Corinthians 6:14 – Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? …

    [17] Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you,
    [18] And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty.

    Ephesians 5
    [7] Be not ye therefore partakers with them.
    [8] For ye were sometimes darkness, but now are ye light in the Lord: walk as children of light:
    [9] (For the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness and righteousness and truth;)
    [10] Proving what is acceptable unto the Lord.
    [11] And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them.
    [12] For it is a shame even to speak of those things which are done of them in secret.
    [13] But all things that are reproved are made manifest by the light: for whatsoever doth make manifest is light.

  2. Timothy Luke says:

    You need to steer clear of that guy and not get involved in any way with him.

    We judge actions and we avoid situations where we may be compromised. It doesn't take much for a guy on drugs to rape a girl. Flee fornication.

    We are called to discern good and evil so that we may separate ourselves and be unspotted from the world. The world judges us of being judgemental… now isn't that an irony!

    Judgement as in 'discernment' is vital and is to be acted upon.

    Judgement as in 'condemnation' is what the verse 'judge not' is referring to. Have you condemned this person? No. You hold out hope of redemption for him and pray for him from a safe distance.

    • Even so, Hear hear, amen.

    • Thanks for your commentary. I wasn’t fornicating with this dude. I was trying to be casual but unfortunately I didnt feel the need to go any further with this particular guy. You’ve been helpful to me.

      • Timothy Luke says:

        Sorry, I was not seeking to imply you were fornicating with him… just trying to say that his use of drugs made sex something that could happen even without your consent and that its best to flee now, before a situation occurs where you are forced.

  3. Redbuck40 says:

    Why would you put yourself in this position? Why would you visit him, do you not know that apart from the “flesh” you have nothing in common? Indeed as a “new creation” even that commonality is called into question.

    Stop being deceived: Wicked friends lead to evil ends.
    (1Co 15:33)

    The scriptures tell us not to partake in the sins of others, but to keep ourselves pure and “Let everyone who claims he belongs to The Lord stand apart from wrongdoing.”

    The scripture makes in plain who we are to have relationships with: the catch phrase “if you marry (or date) a child of the devil you will have problems with your father-in-law” is quite correct.

    But flee youthful lusts, and follow righteousness, faith, love, peace, with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.
    (2Ti 2:22)

    You could not obey the previous scripture and date this person.

    The question is not “should I have judged?” But “should I have had a romantic relationship with this person at all?”

    Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers; for what fellowship does righteousness have with lawlessness? And what partnership does light have with darkness? And what agreement does Christ have with Belial? Or what part does a believer have with an unbeliever? And what agreement does a temple of God have with idols? For you are the temple of the living God, as God has said, “I will dwell in them and walk among them; and I will be their God, and they shall be My people.” Therefore come out from among them and be separated, says the Lord, and do not touch the unclean thing. And I will receive you and I will be a Father to you, and you shall be My sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty.
    (2Co 6:14-18)

    • I like your commentary and support from the Scriptures. However, I did not put my self in that situation. I got out of the situation when I found out he lied about the drugs and stopped being bothered with the dude altogether. Thanks for the helpful input.

      • Redbuck40 says:

        The reason I wrote the things I did was because I thought that it was implied that you were friends with this person:
        “Recently a male was trying to getting to know me and potentially date me”

        That you did know at the time that he used drugs:
        “However, this male was using illegal drugs and I was not comfortable with that” and “In addition I had suspected that he was using drugs earlier because of how his room smelled.”

        But that even though you knew about the drugs you still persisted in the friendship:
        “So one day while I was visiting him, he pulled that stuff out in front of me like I’m supposed to sit there and be cool with that after I have already asked him about it.”

        Finally the friendship ended:
        “Ultimately, we stopped talking to each other”

        The question is: was this person a professing christian when he first became interested?

        The reason I ask is: If not then you are not judging but doing what the scripture says by breaking contact with such. And if so then also you are obeying scripture’s where they state:

        I meant you must not associate with people who claim to be believers but continue to live in sin. Don’t even eat with a brother or sister who sins sexually, is greedy, worships idols, abuses others with insults, gets drunk, or cheats people.
        (1Co 5:11)

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