I need help badly

I don’t know if this is like facebook or what but here goes. I’m 17 and I have been dating this girl for three monthes. we were best friends for about 8 monthes before that and i always knew she liked me. yesterday i broke up with her because i wasn’t happy being anything more than her best friend. after we broke up she sent me this long message about how she loves me and God told her we have a future together. We are both Christians and we have always had each others backs. Now me being a normal teenage boy this has scared me really badly. i just want it to be the way it used to be. I need someone to help me make sence of all this. please if someone can just give me a second and help me out . . . it would mean the world to me

What do YOU think?



  1. Annette1016 says:

    Unfortunately, Michael is correct here. Have you spoken to your parents on the kind of person you should Wed? I learned almost too late in life, that the type of people you date is generally the type of person you should wed. so i would suggest you be choose. Also you should treat this friend as you would expect someone to treat your sister. With kindness respect and truthfulness. However, some girls do get too attached and you obviously care, but guilt should never Stear your heart. Being in love is awesome, but with your best friend is better. She needs the truth, but you need time apart for Gods advice and what his plans for you are. This should be a time for prayer, but you can’t expect him to bless any relationship if truth, trust and honesty are a part of it. 17 is very young, i would hope you would wait to be serious till you were around,26-29. that way you can have had an education and hopefully a good job to support those you love. remember to treat all women as sisters and mothers. we are made a bit differently and love to be Treasured! love, your sis in Christ Jesus, Annette

  2. I can understand that this situation may seem a little confusing to you, but perhaps you were led by God to break up the relationship; in order that you could focus more on Him & what He’s called you to be for Him. Relationships are important to the Lord & He created us to have relationships with others as part of our journey. However, sometimes there are seasons in the Lord where He may pull you away from what you’re used to being a part of, in order to allow for growth to occur in Him. Unfortunately, we sometimes do not always see that we may allow for other people or things to get in the way of our number one relationship with the Lord Himself. She may feel drawn to you believing that you’re supposed to ‘be together’ however, it’s important to pray about this & make sure that these aren’t just feelings led by the flesh, instead of by the Spirit of God (not just led by what we want, instead of what God wants or how God wants it to occur). And, if our discernment or interpretation of spiritual things aren’t fully matured in Him, there’s a chance that we may misinterpret things moreso from our fleshly standpoint & not exactly line up with God’s will for our lives. I would suggest working more on hearing God’s voice yourself in this time, & grow in your discernment of how He sees things. Spend your time with Him now & focus this time on necessary growth into who He’s called you to be in Him. As only He really only knows fully (Matt. 6:33; John 16:12-15; Prov. 3:5-6; Ps. 86:11; Ecc. 3:1-8; Heb. 5:14; Philip. 1:9; Ps. 119:66).

  3. Pastor Frank O Koomson says:

    All what is being said is good but not best than what the lord God will tell you. Before anyone will have a friend, have a vision and a purpose and they must come from God,s vision or purpose. Mostly the vision of God about friendship end up in marrage.

    • blueaquachairs says:

      PurPOSE is not something I worry about, though those with nothinG else to lean on seem to value it highly. So spread the purPOSE everywhere if it important to you. Honesty between friends is everything and to use puPOSE to make that happen is not what I would ever do.

    • Timothy Luke says:

      I agree. Purpose is an important key. If you do not know where you are going in life, then you really have no rudder to decide on who is best to travel that path with you. They must have the same purpose, or calling, or at least a compatible one, if one is to commit the rest of this life to walking with them. To ignore this is to imperil one’s calling and journey they are called to in service to the Lord. If we do not value the call of the Lord, above the fleeting passions of the moment, we risk eternity.

  4. blueaquachairs says:

    I know a guy and his wife who seemed normal, but as it turns out they are both sociopaths involved with some really wierd stuff, witchcraft, . You can read more about it on my otber post at http://www.christian-faith.com/forjesus/mental-blindness#comment-15055

    Just dont be like him and you will be oKDoky. 🙂

  5. Hi John,

    As a rule of thumb, woman desire friendship and security with a man almost as strongly as young men desire sexual fulfilment. What does this mean? It means that by having a close friendship for such a long time with a girl for such a long time, she would have been very deeply attached to you and as you see her thoughts and desires have gone in the direction of marriage.

    If you are not that attracted to her and if God is not telling you to marry, my advice is to cut it off completely, though it seems very harsh. Why? Because if you marry someone you don’t like as a wife, you will probably live with regrets. She will be really hurt NOW – but as long as she has the mental stability not to try to take her own life or something really dumb, she will get over it and eventually find someone who is meant to be her husband.

    I urge you not to make ANY MORE close friendships with girls unless you decide in advance you could imagine yourself marrying them. It just isn’t fair to them. The other thing is that at 17, you probably don’t have the emotional maturity necessary for another few years. You will be different in a lot of ways in just a few years. And so will any potential girlfriend or wife. So don’t rush in.

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