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Don't give up T, God is there you need to reach out to him with
Don't give up T, God is there you need to reach out to him with your whole heart and soul. You know what, I went through a very difficult period some time ago now. I felt like I was a let down to God, I soon started to get spiritual attacks from the evil one telling my mind I was no good and God doesn't want me anymore. I started to believe the lies for a very little while and I sort of spirialed into a place where I felt so down it was horrible. But all through that time I prayed, even when I felt I wasn't getting answers, and I kept praying, and I kept praying. I repented for anything and everything untill one day I was quite litrally on my knees crying and telling God how much I loved and needed him, I said sorry for my weakness or past sins and took myself to a lovely place of nature as quiet as I could find. I wanted to feel close to God somehow and then wow! I had an almighty experience where I knew from the bottom of my heart that God was in fact still there for me. I could feel his presence. It was the most beautiful reassurance ever. So I urge you to look at the info Michael has sent you anyhow and do those checks and suggestions, but the bottom line is God does love you and if you keep on praying, keep on loving God, and keep on asking God to show you any problems. He is and will be there. He won't leave you. He has such great love and mercy it is amazing. Stick to his word and endevour to keep on the straight and narrow path. He even got a Christian whom I had never met before to come up to me in the street with words of encouragement. Have you thought that maybe he just wants to see how much you love him. I am going to pray for you also because I want you to know beyond a shadow of doubt, GOD DOES LOVE YOU and he is amazing.
where I'm at.
Right now I'm struggling to believe. I'm having job problems ,health problemsand money problems and well I've been through so much since I "got saved" that I just feel like God has let me down and the calvanists are right. I know I should have more faith but why is the "gift" always failing me? Maybe I never had it. I attend a church but I can't seem to fit in. It's just like before there are the "IN" crowd. I expected God would make me a better class but that hasn't happened. I admit I struggle with sin and loneliness. If God give wisdom liberally why don't I have it. I'm at the end. I prayed to be born again in 1976, I'm tired in this trial and I'm doubting everything including prayers I believed were answered as maybe it wasn't my prayer that was being answered. My marriage has never been good and I've alienated my kids. They say I've got a lousy personality and with my lack of friends they must be right. How can I change? Why haven't I changed? I think I have in some ways just not enough I guess.
Could it be due to curses
Please read my teaching on "Curses" and see if it applies to you. There are some practical instructions on how to get free. It is not easy or automatic, but there is hope.
http://www.christian-faith.com/forjesus/spiritual-warfare-breaking-curses