Deliverance From Sexual Sin

I need prayer for deliverance from sexual sin brought on by unclean thoughts that I’ve had since I was a child. I’ve been struggling and losing the fight for 15 years now. Some days I am able to stand against it. Some days I am not able to resist and I fall into temptation. I pray daily for God to help me in this area, but there’s no breakthrough. I often have felt distant from God and spiritually trapped because of the shame, the guilt, self condemnation, self unforgiveness and self hatred that comes along with committing sexual sin. Sexual sin has robbed me of God’s love, mercy, grace and blessings. I know Jesus died for all sins and that forgiveness is always available upon asking. However, I feel often like I trample upon God’s grace and forgiveness due to committing sexual sin over and over again even after asking for help and deliverance. I just want to grow in God and not fall along the wayside.

What do YOU think?

comments

Comments

  1. I agree completely with Kingdom Seeker. Joey, I feel the Holy Spirit is saying that you suffer from homosexual sin. Just as encouragement, a man came into my home church this morning in his 60s and was delivered of a life of homosexual sins. He felt unworthy to be cleansed after all the filth he had committed. You MUST understand that if you truly are heartbroken because of the separation between you and God that your sinning has caused, and you earnestly repent, the BLOOD of Jesus covers you and cleanses you of ALL filth. The voice of condemnation telling you that you aren’t forgiven, that it’s just a matter of time before it happens again, that you’ve sinned too much to be loved, that voice is not your thoughts or the Holy Spirit’s. It is the voice of the master of lies, Satan. When you are invaded by thoughts of condemnation or lust, rebuke them in the name of Jesus!! The Holy Spirit convicts you when you are guilty of sin, but never condemns you. If you just can’t keep from stumbling in these sins, a fast may be the secret weapon you are looking for. I suffered from sexual lust and pornography and masturbation for a long time after being saved and I could not figure out why or how it was happening. For one, the Word of God must be deeply and intimately meditated on as often as you can, accompanied by fervent prayer. For me, the demonic chains/oppression of sexual immorality were not completely severed until I fasted. Fasting releases a powerful annointing upon the believer who is doing it to seek God’s presence. Jesus fasted for 40 days before doing anything in His ministry. Moses fasted 40 days before receiving the Ten Commandments. In the Beattitudes, Jesus says, “WHEN you pray, WHEN you fast, and WHEN you give.” Fasting has numerous supernatural benefits, although they are not the main reason to fast. Fasting, by Jentezen Franklin is a great book which explains further. If you can’t quit and are at the end of your rope, a fast can cut the chains and silence the enemy. Pray and follow the Holy Spirit, I am praying for YOU.

  2. Kingdom Seeker says:

    Dear Joey,
    I appreciate your plight and applaud your openness. Your quest for righteousness shall surely be rewarded. Just do not lose hope. Sometimes deliverance is not instant but is a process. It is written in the book of John 8:31-32, ……’If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth and the truth will set you free.’ In this statement, ‘know’ means ‘interact with’ as in having canal knowledge, so that liberty or freedom or deliverance is a product of such an interaction with the truth. Just know that the word of God is God and also Jesus is the truth.
    And it is also written; ‘For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double edged-sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow ;…..’ Hebrews 4: 12,13.
    Here, what is important to note is that, the word of God is able to work on its own. It is also able to identify the root of “bad plantings” and is also able to deal with them. Nothing is hidden from God no matter how cleverly it has been concealed.
    You start by taking stock of your spiritual you. Are you born again? So that you have a secure position in God. That makes you a child of God and a child has rights.
    Now then, you may start investigating the root of your problems by asking God. Another scripture here says “Ask and it will be given to you, seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; and he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks; the door will be opened. Which of you ,if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone.” Mathew 7:7-9. When you start, God will lead you forth. First believe the word as it is written.

  3. legaleagle says:

    I feel exactly the same. Exactly. Feel like I cannot keep going back to God and saying sorry yet again! It completely cuts me off.

Speak Your Mind

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Deliverance from Sexual Sin

I’m a female and I have an issue with pornography/masturbation. I’ve been struggling with this on and off for such a long time. It makes me feel terrible when I do it and it sometimes brings me to tears after the fact. I was exposed to pornography at a very young age (10) and ever since then, it has been an on and off battle. I’ll go months without interest in pornography, thinking “Yes, I am finally free!!”, then all of a sudden it strikes again. Sometimes when I go w/o it for a while, i start thinking “Who am I fooling? I’ll be back at it again one of these days…” This terrifies me.

I’ve wanted to tell someone so badly because I want support and help, but it is something I just cant openly discuss with people that know me. I am a Christian, but this stronghold makes me feel like I cannot approach God. I know he is a forgiving God, but I feel as though I am stabbing him in the back daily by asking for forgiveness then committing the act the next day. 

 

For the longest I’ve imagined myself having a child. I would pretend I was pregnant when i was younger, stuffing pillows and balloons under my shirts. I am now in my 20’s and discovered that my period is very irregular. Sometimes I think that this is my punishment because of my sexual sin. I try not to think about it though…

 

I just want this to stop. I hate sinning against God and my body. i HATE it. I want deliverance NOW. I need help. This is holding me back from spiritual growth. 

What do YOU think?

comments

Comments

  1. jesuslittlechild77 says:

    Sweetie, your not being punished for your sexual sin. Jesus isn’t like that . I often stab him in the back, we all do I know I certainly do I’m the worse of sinners but never matter what I have done whether I have lusted, lied, sworn, hated, etc. I always see that loving face of Jesus scaring back at me. His never far from us and he knows how truly weak we are 🙂 I have also had problems with the same thing. You will find its a very common problem with those that are young mainly because our hormones go crazy. I also feel ashamed about it but I know for certain that Jesus will always love us and never forsake us. His always ready to hold us with arms of love stretched out.

  2. anushka.koshy says:

    Dear God

    Please bless me with holy heart. If I’m committing sin please forgive me. And do burn into fire. But please forgive them those who do sins against us.
    I am sinner and liar and useless and unnecessarily dramatic and stupid and lazy and think myself a gonna be scientist.
    I do imagine bad and idiotic things. I kind of convince myself with lot of unpractical reason and continue to do whatever sins which I done previously.
    I don’t know if the letter will reach to you. I know you can listen my thoughts and feel it. I do sometimes criticize you. Because I am a fool. I don’t pray..
    I don’t know what to do with myself. I tell am lazy then i get a reason to to get rest. God please help me. Give me strength…….burn me into helll…..
    I HATE MYSELF…. If you are there please reply… waiting for your response eagerly……forever….

    Yours lovingly soulless daughter
    Anushka

    • Timothy Luke says:

      Anushka,

       

      Do not fear. You have sinned as all have sinned. Sin is greater than you are, as it is greater than all other people on earth. That is why I sent my son, Jesus to your planet…  to save you from your "self," which is not who I made you to be. Your "self" is simply Satan's Empire Living in Flesh.  Jesus calls you to die to self, so that you can live to Him. Have you repented and chosen to turn from your sins, with HIS help this time? If so, we can go forward from here onto perfection.

       

      On God's behalf for you,

      Tim

  3. lookinforacity says:

    I originally wrote this as a blog, but apparently nobody reads the blogs, please excuse the length, but it isn’t a short subject.

    As Christians there is the need to understand, by our saying I am are sorry, or saying I will stop, that this is not in any way ( REPENTING ).
    The only thing you are doing, is saying that you have a desire to (REPENT).
    When we are continually committing this same sin, doing the same things over, and over that we want to stop.
    We then have these feelings of being defeated, unloved by God, or even abandoned by Him, because of our sin, that seemingly cannot be overcome.
    But the truth of the matter is, we have not (REPENTED) even though we have sought it with tears.

    We have not Repented until we have turned away from, turned around from, what so easily besets us.

    The following words define our feelings, which have been CONFUSED WITH, and FOR the defining of the word REPENT.
    These words stem from the word Repent, as found in the KJV, and as defined in the Strongs Concordance

    Words that are all linked to the definition of REPENT, even though we my have these feelings, we truly have not REPENTED, until we have stopped sinning. REPENTANCE is not a feeling, it is an action.
    All of these feelings are the prompting by the Holy Spirit that what we are doing is wrong, it is the wittiness in our spirit, that we need to stop.
    Jas 4:7
    Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

    By SUBMITTING yourself to God, that is the act of REPENTANCE, the actual stopping of the sin. It is needful to understand at this point the work has already been accomplished for you.
    The second part is the RESISTING, this is the hard part, it is totally dependant upon your faith in God, this is the ACTION part of your REPENTANCE, this is where you actively play a role, it says that “YOU” are the one that needs to do the resisting.
    Remember this one fact, you are the one that walked into this sin, therefore you are the one that will have to do the walking away from it. This is accomplished only through your RESISTANCE to it.
    We cannot say “the Devil made me do it.”
    Jas 1:14
    But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed.

    In submitting to God, and your resistance to the Devil, you then achieve the desired goal, RETENTANCE.

    These are the words that we equate with REPENTANCE, these are what make us feel as though we have REPENTED, but these are only feelings.

    G3340
    To think differently or reconsider, (morally to feel Compunction)

    G3338
    To care afterwards, that is, regret, (Compunction
    Compunction
    1) A feeling of uneasiness or anxiety of the conscience caused by regret for doing wrong.
    See – (Remorse)
    2) Any uneasiness or hesitation about the rightness of an action.
    3) A strong uneasiness caused by a sense of guilt.
    4) A sting of conscience or a pang of doubt aroused by wrongdoing or the prospect of wrongdoing.
    See – (Qualm)

    Qualm
    1) An uneasy feeling or pang of conscience as to conduct; (Compunction)
    2) A sudden feeling of apprehensive uneasiness.

    Contrition
    1) Sincere (Penitence or Remorse)
    2) Theology – Sorrow for and Detestation of sin with a true purpose of amendment.

    Penitence
    1) The state of being Penitent; regret for one’s wrongdoing or sinning; (Contrition)

    Remorse
    1) Deep and painful regret for wrongdoing; (Compunction)
    2) Moral anguish, bitter regret. (Penitence)

    As you can see, all of those words are in no way REPENTING. They are what we feel, as we find our way to our REPENTANCE.

    REPENT – The Definition:
    In composition (as a prefix) it usually denotes separation, departure, cessation, completion, reversal, etc. to think differently,

    Remember most of all, if you are a Christian, overcome by sin, you “HAVE” been forgiven your sin, by the blood of Jesus. “Our forgiveness is not conditional.”
    Rom 8:1
    There is therefore now (NO CONDEMNATION) to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.

    Don’t condemn yourself, God doesn’t. You “ARE” in Christ Jesus, and you “DO” walk in the Spirit.
    We may from time to time, not walk as we want to walk, but this does not mean you have ceased from being a Child of God.
    Rom 8:16,17
    16) The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that (WE ARE THE CHILDREN) of God:
    17) (AND IF CHILDREN), then heirs; heirs of God, and (JOINT-HEIRS WITH CHRIST); if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together.

    Heb 4:15
    For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points (TEMPTED LIKE AS WE ARE), yet without sin.

    We have become righteous through Jesus.
    Rom 3:22
    Even the (RIGHTEOUSNESS OF GOD) which is by faith of Jesus Christ unto all and (UPON ALL THEM THAT BELIEVE): for there is no difference:

    1Co 1:30
    But of him are ye in Christ Jesus, who of God is made unto us wisdom, (AND RIGHTEOUSNESS), and sanctification, and redemption:

    So then, reckon yourselves to be DEAD, “DEAD to SIN”, DEAD to the LAW”, DEAD to the FLESH.”
    Rom 6:1,2
    1) What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound?
    2) God forbid. How shall we, that are (DEAD TO SIN), live any longer therein?

    Rom 6:11
    Likewise reckon ye also yourselves to be (DEAD INDEED TO SIN), but alive unto God through Jesus Christ our Lord.

    Rom 7:4
    Wherefore, my brethren, ye also are become (DEAD TO THE LAW) by the body of Christ; that ye should be married to another, even to him who is raised from the dead, that we should bring forth fruit unto God.

    Gal 2:19 For I through the law am (DEAD TO THE LAW), that I might live unto God.

    Rom 8:3,4
    3) For what the law could not do, in that it was weak through the flesh, God sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh, and for sin, (CONDEMNED SIN IN THE FLESH):
    4) That the righteousness of the law might be fulfilled in us, (WHO WALK NOT AFTER THE FLESH), but after the Spirit.

    Rom 8:9 (BUT YOU ARE NOT IN THE FLESH), but in the Spirit, if so be that the Spirit of God dwell in you. Now if any man have not the Spirit of Christ, he is none of his.

    JIM

    • Keith Martini says:

      Jim,

      So did Paul go to hell because he never repented? He to wanted to but as far as we know according to scripture , never could. Romans 7:14-25 Talks all about Pauls struggle with sin. Paul admits he can’t stop sinning Romans 7:14-24 but in chapter 25 He thanks God for Jesus. Ch 25: Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. So you see how it is: In my mind I really want to obey GOD’s law, but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin.

      Jim – if we could repent and stop sinning, we wouldn’t need Jesus. I am no expert but I struggle with sinful addictions to and if asking God to forgive us of our sins isn’t good enough, well then Jesus’s purpose was pointless and we’re all going to hell.

      I’m not an expert on this subject. I just am looking for the answer for those of us who truly feel like we can’t stop our sinful addictions. Your explanation of true repentence can leave many of us feeling hopeless.

  4. schmitage says:

    Sister,

    I want to let you know that you’re not alone in this battle. Your confession is blessed. Many of us go through very similar things. If it isn’t pornography, it is pornography in our thought processes (movie clips, lusting after someone, etc). I don’t know if it’s a stretch or not, but after talking with many folks, I believe the majority of us go through this, but not many are willing to confess it. So blessed are you for standing in agreement with God. He hates it too. I stand in agreement with you, I hate it too.

    All I can do is give you an example of me. There was a lady friend (Christian) who I kept falling into inappropriate conversations with. Both her and I hated it. We said we’ll never do it again… and we said this around 50 times. We kept hurting over this, saying we repent, asking for forgiveness, etc. We would get into a right standing with God, and then within a matter of a few weeks, we were back at it.

    This is the weird part. See, we both knew what we were doing was wrong. We both hated it. Wanna know what though… as soon as the body releases those chemicals, all rational thinking is out the window. Even as I type this, I am only merely recalling in my mind the bodily functions… and my heart rate is increasing and my breathing is increasing as these words flow from my finger tips. I am not lusting, I have no thoughts, I am not viewing anything pornographic, I am not playing out scenarios in my mind (movies), nothing. I am talking about God with a sister… and my body is doing this thing. Ok, deep cleansing breaths.

    What am I getting at here? There are natural instincts/bodily functions that happen. These are not evil or wicked in of themselves. God created us with these emotions, bodily functions, etc. to be used in creation between a man and a woman. They have a Godly purpose. It’s not different than the metal of the earth serving a Godly purpose, but a man makes a gun out of it and then kills another man. It’s what we do with the Godly blessing that makes it Good or Evil. We have a choice…

    Anyways, back to my example of myself. This lady friend and I would visit each other.. and every time we did, we would fall into lust. Making out, touching, bla bla bla. And every single time, we regretted it. Then, we would think we were strong enough to not do it again, and we’d come back together.. and we’d do it again. And no matter how much we repented.. no matter how much we thought we were good… Every Single Time we got back together, we repeated things.

    So what happened? We stopped coming together in an environment where we would be alone. Even as recent as 2 weeks ago, we were talking during the 4th of July holiday and we were going to come together to do some studying of the Word. She was going to come over in a couple of hours. As I was waiting on her to call when she was on her way, my mind was the furthest thing from bible study. The Lord said “remember…. what makes you think you’re any stronger this time?” I knew I wasn’t…. I called her up and told her to not come. She said “The Lord was saying the same thing to me.” But see, we were both weak… she said she wasn’t going to cancel, even tho she recognized the Lord speaking to her. And I have to confess too, that was 1 of few times that I was able to heed. If we would have been involved into the area that sparked our lusts, we were done for.

    See, what I am doing there is keeping myself away from the areas that I know I am weak in. Jesus said that if your hand causes you to sin, cut it off. If you’re eye causes you to sin, pluck it out. He is showing the seriousness of sin and that we have to do whatever it takes to stay away from it. So through my “experiences” I have gained something called “knowledge”. I already know that if I think ______ or if I put myself into ______ situation, that I will fall. I have not been strong enough in the past, there is no reason to think I am now. As a matter of fact, even when I have thought I have overcome and have been strong enough, I have failed.. .100% of the time. So I have to do something drastic. And that was to separate from her.. cut it off.

    Now, we are still friends. We talk all the time over the phone. And in these conversations, the bodily chemicals get stirred up again. See, there is a huge problem with these chemicals that flood our body. It’s a HUGE problem. Why? Because once our heart rate increases, the breathing gets heavy.. chemicals flow into our body. I did research on this.. it’s a drug. And it can be addictive. It clouds our minds. It puts blinders on. We are all but done for when this chemical is flowing. When the lust has us, we either have to RUN… or we’re basically done for. Guaranteed, at least in my life.

    I’m going to reveal some very wicked things here. When these chemicals are flowing in my body… I woudl be thinking “You’re doing it again… going down the wrong path… get out of this situation”. That was the Spirit ministering to me. I would ignore it…forgive me Lord. Then, I would see God… He would give me a way out of the situation… I literally would see a door open and the Lord saying “This is your out, go!” and I would ignore Him. See, once these chemicals are in the body and flowing, it is VERY difficult to get out of. I have gotten out of it very few times… The chemicals over power the body, the thinking, all rational thought, etc. Once we’re in this mode, the body has one goal – pleasure/release.. and nothing will stop the body from achieving it.

    So now back to this lady friend. We kept talking on the phone, and ya know what… we kept falling in lustful conversations on the phone.. every 2-3 weeks, when the build up was there… we would talk on the phone, the conversation would start going down incorrect paths, etc. We were still doing the same thing, just not together… still in lust. And we hated it. We both absolutely hated it. We cried afterward… we would swear never to do it again.. .we would talk about it.. we would say “this will never happen again.. we repent!” and ya know, it kept happening. We had no power over it. Even in the midst of these conversations, we would say “we need to stop talking” and we would both want to do that, but the body wouldn’t obey. So stupid…rational thinking out the window… consumed by this drug flowing through our bodies.

    So what did we do? We stopped the phone conversations and agreed to keep them strictly to a brother/sister discussion. A Christian relationship. To only talk when we wanted to share something of God, when we needed encouragement, prayer, etc. We cut off the hand and plucked out the eye.

    Ok, this is longer than I wanted… but I wanted to show you that you’re not alone here. But I also wanted to show you how these chemicals flood the body and take us over. The only way for me to overcome was to separate myself from the things that triggered the chemicals. Once the flood of lust entered, I was done for. There was nothing I could do… I was going to get pleasure/release, no matter what. It’s like a dog in heat. One track mind. Achieve the goal at all costs… and even when Jesus was standing right in front of me, and I would see Him standing there trying to help, I would merely walk around Him, running towards the goal.

    So I had to realize something… I have to listen to the word of God. I have to take action. I couldn’t just pray “Sorry Lord, Help me!!! I need help!!!” I was praying that over and over… and He said “You have to choose. You have to do something. You have to take an action.” We can’t fool ourselves over and over and over again. If we change nothing, it’s going to happen again. There was a saying by Einstein.. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results. We have to take the knowledge the Lord has blessed us with, and make wise choices with that knowledge. We can’t just toss up a prayer, asking for deliverance, and do nothing else. We always want Him to just make everything ok… we’d be robots if that’s the case. He wants us to choose Him.

    When it comes to these attacks by satan, Paul has said many times in scripture to stand.. To put on the full armor of God and stand against the wiles of the devil. But wanna know something else? There is only 1 area where Paul does not say stand. He says “Flee sexual immorality”, and he says it twice. He’s saying “RUN. Get out. Get away from.” He’s not saying stand and fight. Why? I think he knew something there… that we can’t fight that battle.

    In the end, we have to take action. We have to take the knowledge that the Lord has blessed us with, with past experiences… and make wise decisions. That means for me, I had to separate myself from being in situations where I was alone w/ this lady. Then, when I saw that didn’t work, I had to separate myself from having conversations on the phone unless they were Godly.. No more “friendly” conversations.

    Now, it’s the same thing with my mind. My mind may start to travel down a path. Through psat knowledge, I already know where that will get me. It will get me to masterbation… then it will get me to feeling bad. It will trap me, I will do it, and I will feel bad. That’s the cycle. So I have to separate myself from the thoughts, I have to separate myself from any images.. I have to take action. If I don’t, the chemicals flow into the blood stream and I’m done for, 99/100 times.

    Choose wisely…. Learn the lesson or retake the course, it’s that simple.

    http://www.serious-things.com (see my recent post about mind games). But also see: http://www.serious-things.com/wisdom-and-choice

    Bless you and yours. Keep on keepin’ on You’re on the right path.. you hate it. So did I. That was stage 1. You’ll get over this.. Keep praying, keep hating it, and eventually, you’ll choose Him over the lusts of the flesh. Then He will take care of it.

    Oh and as a side note… Yes, it is very hard to not choose it. We have to purpose in our heart to get away from it. I have found that after Christ helped me get over 2 ‘events’.. where I did not follow the lusts of the flesh, but instead turned to Him for help… it took around 2 events in a few week period to overcome.. then it all became easy after that. The desire, the sensations, etc. will drive us crazy for a few weeks, but it will subside.. It’s whether we can get through those few events.. the trial… the test.. Get through the test, deliverance is on the other side of ’em.

    In love,

    joseph

    • michael says:

      Brother Joseph,

       

      I tell you, in such a relationship, where there is sexual chemistry involved, and its not the will of God to marry, you need to totally CUT OFF the relationship. There is an ungodly soul tie there and it can draw you the wrong way even in such a thing as a Bible study conducted within the framework of a “brother/sister relationship”.

       

      The Bible says to treat younger women with absolute purity, older women as mothers.

      The Bible also says to “flee immorality”, not flirt with it.

      All of us are subject to temptation in this area, just as every wooden house is burnable. Keep fire in the fireplace (marriage) or keep it away from the house totally.

      • Timothy Luke says:

        Michael, I wonder how effective it is to have brothers minister to sisters and sisters to brothers when it comes to sexuality. Even this discourse (between Joseph and Grace) seems to be inappropriate as we have male and female speaking of topics that are probably best handled sister to sister and brother to brother. When we cross the gender divide in such topics, it seems an opening is there, as you stated, no matter how ‘brother to sister’ we get.  It is something I am being more convinced of at present.  Do you have the same sense on this? Just wondering….

        Tim

        • ByGrace85 says:

          I found Josephs response to be VERY appropriate and VERY helpful. I appreciate and learn from the responses I get from everyone…both male and female.

          • Timothy Luke says:

            Praise the Lord sister! The important thing is that you get free! I look forward to the world when we are neither male nor female and can get beyond the divide it causes in the flesh as the devil tempts and twists…  its a spiritual minefield and noone wants to get hurt.

        • schmitage says:

          Brother,

          I received a private message from Grace.. thanking me for being open and honest “Thank you so much. I used to feel very alone in this situation.” I had almost the same conversation with a male brother a few months back, revealing the wickedness that most Christians keep hidden. His response? – “I didn’t know others went through this too, I thought I was alone.”

          People think they are alone in these struggles. They are not. I don’t think it is a stretch to say that most of us go through very similar things, but most will keep them hidden.. Should I keep them hidden too?

          There was a comment made a couple of posts b4 mine that said “email me, I can help you” (from a male). This seemed more questionable..

          This verse came to mind.. after Jesus talked to the woman at the well – John 4:27 And at this point His disciples came, and they marveled that He talked with a woman; yet no one said, “What do You seek?” or, “Why are You talking with her?”

          This is twice in 2 weeks that my openness has caused a challenge.. I need to pray on this..

          • Timothy Luke says:

            I have often shared as have you, with females. The Bible often speaks of very clearly of uncovering a brother or sister’s nakedness. In a spiritual sense I see this when we speak of such things, and yet I also am aware of the power of darkness and the shame the devil uses in darkness to bind us to our sin. I fully appreciate your heart and advice/encouragement – its just a tough question that I sincerely pose. I am glad Grace was blessed by the reply!  Tim

          • schmitage says:

            I would like to thank you. You are so right about the power of darkness. I’m very thankful that I have brothers watching my back and encouraging so that things are kept in check and appropriate.

            Indeed, fiery darts are constantly launched against us. There were fiery darts slamming up against this temple when I responded to her, they were recognized and spoke against. There are fiery darts slamming up against me as I type this, while I slept last night, and as my day continues, i’m sure flaming arrows are already on their way.. the wicked one does not sleep. The roaring lion who seeks to devour is always looking for an opening and there are constant attacks, moment by moment, day by day..

            At any rate, instead of taking offense as if my character was attacked, I should be thanking you for watching out. 🙂 Thanks brother… love you too.

            joseph

      • schmitage says:

        Michael, I agree with you..

        I cut off the ungodly relationship. When I noticed the weakness, I cut off visitation with her. We have not been around each other for about a year, with the exception of working outreaches together, but with others in the Body.

        When I noticed it continuing in inappropriate phone conversations, I cut it off. We now talk on the phone if we need prayer, help in ministry, or want to share something of the Lord. I received an email from her today, she’s in Haiti: “Please pray for me.” Shall I cut these conversations off too?

        There’s a lot more to the situation than what I revealed in that post. We both are in the same ministry, but different locations. We do have times when we have to discuss ministry, organize outreaches, etc.

        I know what you are saying, and I agree. I have taken steps to cut off the things of the flesh. Shall I separate things of God too? I say no, initially.. I have to pray on this. I see what you’re getting at.

        As I said in my original post, I can’t put myself into realms where I will fall. But see, the areas where I have fallen, I have separated myself from. There has not been a fall since the change to our contacts. But, I see that I am putting myself into a realm to be tempted… I gotcha. Gotta pray on it and be wise. Thanks for pointing it out bro.

  5. camino-verdad-vida says:

    I know what you’re going through, and I can help you with it. However, in order to do so, I would have to talk about personal matters, which I’m not willing to do publicly. If you are interested in my help, I will give it with pleasure, but you would have to write to me at p_cherokee1988ATprofesores.com. Replace AT for @ (I’m trying to avoid spam).

    Where it says subject, write “Sexual Sin” so that I know it’s you…

  6. SimpleMan says:

    Trying to fight certain thoughts just gives them moreenergy. Please try focusing on something else. Try listening to music, enjoy art, do something that engages all the senses and the mind in the things that were not associated in your life with the behaviours you want to eliminate. Just refuse to give them energy. Fight with God to help you. If He promises to help and cure your soul, demand that He heals your body and mind as well. It is your right to ask Him, if He seems to not listen, shout at Him, cry at him, try to suffocate Him with your tears. High emotions would engage your whole mind-body-soul into the direction of God. Be as stubborn as you could, this is the way somebody shown me and I use it. God seems to respond if you are a “demanding customer.” If it does not seem to work, be even more passionate and make your claims and wishes known to Him in a way that us unresistible. Maybe He just gives you a chance to develop a stronger desire to get free. PLease let me know if worked – happy to send you more details ([email protected]). By the same token – I am not looking for a relationship – I am just ready to share what worked and is still working for me. Best regards.

    • warrior daughter says:

      Quote….Fight with God to help you. If He promises to help and cure your soul, demand that He heals your body and mind as well. It is your right to ask Him, if He seems to not listen, shout at Him, cry at him, try to suffocate Him with your tears. High emotions would engage your whole mind-body-soul into the direction of God. Be as stubborn as you could, this is the way somebody shown me and I use it. God seems to respond if you are a “demanding customer.”

      This reminds me of a child who wants a toy at a toy store and demands it…

      The Bible tells us to come to Father God with a humble attitude & not demanding that He gives us what we want…Sometimes what we want is not what we need….

      James 4:6-10
      God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble…Submit yourself to God. Resist the devil & he will flee from you. Draw near to God & He will draw near to you . Cleanse your hands, you sinners; & purify your hearts, you doubleminded. Lament & mourn & weep! Let your laughter be turned to mourning & your joy to gloom. Humble yourself in the site of the Lord & He will lift you up…

      1 Peter 5:6,7
      Therefore humble yourself under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time,casting all your cares upon Him, for He cares for you.

      • jesseedavis says:

        Its been a while, so I figured I’d stop in with a couple of pennies to let everyone know I’m here. 🙂 Anyways, in reading this, I noticed a few things that I feel could be beneficial.

        Coming to God like this does work for so many people. There are books, websites, groups, etc. devoted just to getting people to demand from God, often disguised as something like, “Using your God-given authority…”. There are hundreds of Scripture that could be quoted (many of which wouldn’t have to be twisted around) and many more that are tied with these Scriptures. So before I go on, let me just point out that this is a Church-wide problem.

        When I read this, one of the last thoughts I had was something like, “Why does it take us coming to You demanding everything and screaming and shouting before something changes? Why do we have to ‘move’ You in order for someone else to finally come to repentance, or for a disaster to finally pass, or for Your provision to finally come through?”

        I want to be careful with this, because I don’t want to imply that this attitude is any good. I think from here there are two ways I can take this.

        First, Warrior Daughter, you are absolutely right, or rather the Scripture is right, we absolutely must come humbly before Him. What is humility though? I mean when God exalts us, should we constantly go against our exalted position? (Read Ephesians 2:5-6.) I understand that we are not to exalt ourselves, but if and when He exalts us, then what? I think a better understanding of humility is in Romans 12:1-3:

         

        1I beseech you
        therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a
        living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable
        service. 2And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. 3For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to
        think soberly
        , according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of
        faith.

         

        When it comes to humility, (and maybe some of you could definitely add or take from this) I think that we humble ourselves to get to where God exalts us to, not to tear down the very place He built for us.

        I think, though, that humility isn’t the issue with this problem, its a maturity issue. Like you said, “This reminds me of a child who wants a toy at a toy store and demands
        it…”

        As I was reading his post, I thought, “God isn’t the one that needs reminded, and He isn’t stuck. So why are we trying to move Him?!” But then I noticed something He said that completely changed everything…he said, “High emotions would engage your whole mind-body-soul into the direction of God…Maybe He just gives you a chance to develop a stronger desire to get free.” Essentially, whether knowingly or not, he acknowledged that we to move, not God. I’ve heard this before, but this was an incredible way of putting it. If we have to come to God, kicking and screaming and shouting in order for every single thing in us to focus on Him, than DO IT!! I think I’d rather someone kick and scream at God than completely shun or run from Him when they don’t get stuff. It almost seems as though this is God’s view, too, as almost nobody that shuns/runs from Him gets anything from Him, ever.

        However, having said all this, let me plead for maturity. Hebrews 5:12-6:3:

         

        12For when for the time ye ought to be teachers, ye have need that one teach you again which be the first principles of the oracles of God; and are become such as have need of milk, and not of strong meat. 13For every one that useth milk is unskilful in the word of righteousness: for he is a babe.14But strong meat belongeth to them that are of full age, even those who by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil.1Therefore leaving the principles of the doctrine of Christ, let us go on unto perfection; not laying again the foundation of repentance from dead works, and of faith toward God, 2Of the doctrine of baptisms, and of laying on of hands, and of resurrection of the dead, and of eternal judgment. 3And this will we do, if God permit.

         

        If being immature is the only way you know how to live, then by all means, live it out, but I beseech you, GROW UP! Learn to always have every emotion, every thought, every will, every single part of your body and your spirit and your soul focused on Him. This site has many articles and people that can point you to more and more passages and can testify of how God has matured them, this site can be a great tool to get you to a better place in Christ. Read Scripture with faith, read it with excitement, in fact if you want to engage your energy and focus and stuff, start shouting praise and rejoicing! Speak in tongues for hours on end if possible, believe me, God provided multiple alternatives that are both mature and holy.

        • faithishearing says:

          This post brings to mind the parable of the persistent widow found in Luke 18
          Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up. He said: “In a certain town there was a judge who neither feared God nor cared about men. And there was a widow in that town who kept coming to him with the plea, ‘Grant me justice against my adversary.’

          ‘”For some time he refused. But finally he said to himself, ‘Even though I don’t fear God or care about men, yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will see that she gets justice, so that she won’t eventually wear me out with her coming!’ ”

          Notice verse 6 and on…

          And the Lord said, “Listen to what the unjust judge says. And I tell you, he will see that they get justice, and quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?”

          I will also be quick to point out that the main point of this parable is that God ISN’T like the unrighteous judge, and yet still the message of the story is unchanged. Persistent prayer, pleading, begging if you will, much like the widow did in the story.
          “…will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off?” I think of the story of the woman will the daughter that was demon possessed and how she cried out after Jesus (Matthew 15:22-28) and the blind men who also cried after Jesus. (Luke 18:35-42.)
          Since we know that God is always willing to help us and heal us, I think that this pleading and begging is for our benefit. I do believe that it can be done with humility. The Canaanite women and the blind men were both humble, I believe it was their utter desperation that drove them to that point where they could cry out to Jesus like they did.
          I think it depends most of all on faith and that our requests are in line with the will of God.

  7. MWalker says:

    Yes drawing closer to God and his son Jesus is the best thing that you can do. I had a problem with watching porn and really didnt see a problem with it. Then I got saved a few months back and tossed out all the porn I had. I sold alot of the novels that I used to read that were heavy into sex, drugs and other ungodly things. No more I said, I had to make a change. Not only that I didnt have the desire to read those books. I still struggle with sexual thoughts that I believe have increased due to me drawing nearer to Him. I really never thought porn was bad until I started reading the bible, going to church and bible study. The devil is a liar, dont believe him. We are not our sin! We will never get away from the sin as long as we are in these sinful, polluted bodies. Thanks be to God for his grace and mercy who will deliever us from it. You draw closer to Jesus, believe in him and he will see you through.

  8. faithishearing says:

    ‘But I’m a girl! This isn’t supposed to be a problem for me!’ Not as uncommon as you think. I read a recent statistic that stated one in every three porn viewers are female. Make no mistake, I am not trying to trivialize, normalize, or other wise diminish the seriousness of your problem. I’m only stating that it isn’t strictly a male problem anymore.
    I remember growing up in a large family of mostly boys and an adulterous father. I stumbled onto porn for the first time on accident. I cried because I felt so violated. But I didn’t cry the second time I ‘stumbled’ on it, or the third time, or…well, you know.
    As I grew older, I had the misfortune of joining a group of relatively older women in communal friendship. Since I had a very dysfunctional family and a mother who didn’t tell me anything, I really looked up to these women for advice. Not only did these women openly admit to viewing porn daily, they scolded women who had a problem with it or with their husbands viewing it. They saw it as normal an activity as eating. They didn’t see it as a problem because they were in denial about being addicts. These were ‘normal’, every day, drive-my-kids-to-school moms, wives, and girlfriends!
    They used colorful words like ‘sexual freedom’ and ‘self-expression’ and other nice idioms for SIN.
    The flaw in the ‘so men do it too!’ type of thinking is this: first, it is harmful, sinful, and dirty no matter who’s watching, and second, men and women are different, we were made different. It effects us in different, but equally as harmful ways.
    Humans are relational beings. And sexual gratification is a cheap imitation for real godly relationships.
    I stopped because I realized that I was shooting myself in the foot. I wanted a godly relationship with a husband someday, and I didn’t want to bring those images with me. Your thoughts are always going to condemn you, if you listen to them you’ll go crazy. When I tell you I was hounded in the weeks after I gave up, I mean I was in torment. ‘Who are you fooling? You’re just a…..’. I read the bible and I prayed, often. I chose to listen to God rather than my thoughts. Things started to get real crazy when I had a vivid nightmare where this being (I think a demon) attempted to sexually assault me. Some of the same things I thought I was saying to myself about ‘Who are you fooling?’ this same entity in my dream was saying and worse! In the dream I was fighting off this demon in a great struggle.
    I woke up fearful and a little encouraged, at least I knew it wasn’t me telling myself those things. I also knew I must be doing something right if the devil was getting that desperate. I was up against something greater than I was. And I knew the Only One who could help me was God. I submitted to Him. I gave Him my life. He gave me His supernatural power to have the victory over sin. You don’t have to feel dirty, and useless, unworthy, and used anymore.
    It isn’t about fixing THIS problem and then I’ll be okay. It is about a relationship with Christ. It cannot be compartmentalized to one specific area or sin in your life. A relationship with Christ is all-or-nothing. He wants all of you, for you to be His, and for Him to be yours. The more you focus on your problem the longer it will be with you. You have to redirect your focus elsewhere, and that is on Christ, and on His love.
    You can have true, lasting intimacy with God. Love unconditional. Uninhibited. Freeing. Powerful. Life changing. A love where you can be yourself, the real you as defined by God in the Holy Scriptures. You aren’t your sin.
    You can have real, friendships with people. You can redefine your view of intimacy. You can choose not to exploit others and not to be exploited. You can build real relationships with people who loves you.
    That’s God’s love for you. No man can give it to you and no man can take it away. Tim gave you a very good website, here is another one like it:
    http://www.pureintimacy.org
    Has tons of articles, resources, and advice for women struggling with this.
    Blessings!!

  9. Timothy Luke says:

    Sister,

    Just want to take a moment to encourage you that you are NOT your sin. The Devil speaks to us in the first person often, as though it is our own thought. So, when you share that you think, “who am I fooling…?” I can easily hear that being the voice of the enemy to bring about exactly what you find it bringing… hopelessness.  That hopelessness brings about your surrender.

    You are not fooling God. He knows exactly who you are…. He made you! You are a daughter of the Most High God. You are a saint, bought with the blood of Jesus Christ, who also loves you and has a higher call and expectation for you. Do they hate the sin? Yes! Why? Because they LOVE YOU and it is the sin that hates you.

    God can and will restore your cycle as you get free of this. He has not condemned you – that is the voice of hell – but He would convict you. Pornography is a sin, as is masturbation. But these sins are not YOU. The devil is the one who has been fooling you.

    You are created in the image of God to give and receive pure love, untainted. He has accepted you, but now is the time to put aside the sin that so easily besets you. This can only be done in His power, not yours. Sin is bigger than we are, but it is no match for the Living God! Let God live in you more each day, and the sins of the flesh will fade.  “Walk in the spirit, and you will not fulfill the lusts of the flesh.”  When you try to draw close to God, it is the enemy who says, “who are you fooling?” He says that to cause you to draw back from God in your heart, then in the weakness that comes from that distance, he once again gains mastery and then blames you for it.

    God loves you, sister. He sees the real you through the messy diaper of besetting sin. He wants to cleanse you and set you on the road to righteousness – in HIS strength, not yours.  Here is a prayer for you to offer Him….

    “Father in heaven, I have sinned against you and am no longer worthy to be called your daughter. I have given myself over to pornography and masturbation, but you have commanded that I no longer let sin have dominion over me. There are those who have hurt me in my past and have exposed me to this sin. I have resented them and I ask you to forgive them for abusing me and defiling me. I choose to separate them from their sin and I choose to love them with the love of God. I surrender all judgements and bitterness against them and against myself, coming from their sin, that I made my sin.

    “I ask you to forgive me for relying on my own strength to overcome these addictions. Father, it is not by my might or my power that I will overcome these. It is not in me to overcome these addictions. I need a Savior. I need Jesus Christ and the power of your Holy Spirit, to overthrow the work of this unholy spirit that has attached itself to my life and made me one with it. I renounce, in the name of Jesus Christ to whom I surrender this sin, all pornography and fantasy lust and masturbation. I repent for defiling your temple with these false gods. Please forgive me for allowing what you have fearfully and wonderfully made to become a temple of prostitution. I am not a pervert and I will not surrender my eyes or flesh to this work of the enemy any longer.

    “Create in me a clean heart. Renew in me a right spirit. Strengthen me to walk in the truth of who I am, as your beloved daughter in whom you are pleased to dwell. ‘Former things are passed away, behold, I make all things new’ is the promise I receive from you as a special gift today. I confess that I have viewed my brothers as objects of sexual fulfillment. I repent to you for defiling them with my eyes and in my heart. They are people whom you have created for your good pleasure, not mine.  You love them with a pure love. Give me your eyes and your heart for my brothers in the church and in the world. 

    “I choose to walk in the power of your spirit, and renounce the works of the flesh. I choose YOU this day, Holy Father. Make me pure once more. My own righteousness has failed me. I am a sinner. I cannot walk this walk, nor make myself clean in this, yet you love me, and I cry out for the power of that love to overcome the false love that has enslaved me. I thank you for your deliverance, in Jesus’ name. amen.”

    Sister, as a believer, I join with your brothers and sisters on this board to bless you and receive you for who you are. A lovely daughter who got caught for a season in an unlovely sin. Its time to rise up from the mess of this and take your place. You are your Beloved’s and He is yours. He has received you, and now it is time to leave the sin of your youth behind. He will restore the years the locust has eaten. You are not your sin and your sins are not you. Your identity is bound up in the eyes of your Creator, who made you and knows your true heart to serve Him…. “neither do I condemn you, go and sin no more,” in His power, not yours. That is why we give Him the glory, because it truly is He that will do this through you and for you.

    Blessings and peace,

    Tim

     

    PS – I often recommend http://www.purelifeministries.org/ for those who are serious about overcoming sexual addictions. They take this seriously!

    • ByGrace85 says:

      Thank you so much Tim. I read your response the day you posted it but never had the time to thank you until now. It brought me to tears :'( Happy tears 🙂 I read the pray aloud and printed your entire response. I pray God blesses you as you bless others. You’re AWESOME and I appreciate you!

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