Very Sick and Shattered

I haven’t been here for quite a while as I have been dealing with my grandfather who was really sick last year and died before Christmas. After this I could follow up on my bowel operation as I have not recovered as I has been told I would.

My bowel function has slowed down and I have been getting dangerous blockages.

I have gone to both medical specialists here in Sydney Australia and I have undertaken natural treatment as well.

The medical doctors even though I have sort a second opinion have said the operated area has healed well with some minor scarring and as for my bowels not working properly they have just prescribed, fiber and water and laxatives.

Now I did not have this problem prior to having a cancerous bowel tumour removed. BTW I am cancer free according to my latests tests. If anything I would lean towards having frequent and very soft stools (sorry about the detail I just want you to understand I never had constipation or blockages every before).

Slowly since my operation which was almost two years ago now my bowels just got harder and harder to go to the toilet and now even with laxatives I can hardly go.

I have by the Grace of God met by chance two other women who have had a similar operation and bowel ressection done in a similar place in our large intestines. They have had similar issues and are now like me frightened of having total blokage or their bowels ceasing to work.

I have been a Christian for 31 years and faced a number of serious illnesses in the past. I would have always prayed and trusted God with my situation. I never had a miraculous healing but I have always come out of my health issues OK and found a way to manage them and get on with life.

I have prayed with Faith and I have always dealt with sin in my life appropriately. I have seen God do some changes in my life recently. I was hurt badly by my best friend (betrayed and humiliated by her) a while ago. I have been healed of this emotional hurt and I have forgiven her earlier this year. This is just an example how I have been keeping my sin in check and not falling under and KNOWN sin to ensure my prayers are not hindered.

I have I think enough Faith for prayers to be answered. However things have gone from bad to worse to even worse still and I am losing my hope.

Along with my health issues we have had our income severely cut and some financial issues (still going through them). We also have had some other problems that have been very stressful.

I have had a bad week and a dangerous week. Yesterday we had a few other things come to light putting another strain on (my husband & myself).

I do have much to Thank God for and my husband being a Saved Believer also is one of them (he has only come to the Lord just a few years ago now). However with my bowel being very bad right now and everything else I have felt abandoned by God.

I have prayed for something anything that God would do for us. Even if the Lord would just give us a Word of Comfort. Nothing the heavens have not replied to any of my prayers lately and the Holy Spirit has been super quiet. I have never experienced such a time with God. There has always in the past been something to help us get through.

I am beside myself with all this. Overwhelmed and so gutted by the situations we are facing that I have even now found it hard to pray.

Oh Lord why are you so silent.

I need my bowels to work and heal. My husband is devastated at the thought of losing me right now and I really want to stay for a while yet. I’m not that old only 49 and my health in otherways is fine just this bowel is the problem.

I don’t know what to do anymore, what to pray, how to pray. I have continued to repent in case I have done something very wrong to be so abandoned by God. Not just me I have found there are many other Christians I know who are saying the same thing it is like our prayers are not being heard by the Lord.

However I am desparate and I am not being able to just say OK it must be my time to die and I will just accept this suffering and the horrible death that will happen if my bowels are not healed.

I understand God can take me home with him whenever He wants to take me. If this is His will we need the grace to accept it but like King Hezekiah I have prayed in tears for healing and a few more years on this earth to be an encouragement not only to my husband but my brother who has just come to the Lord.

I would really appreciate your prayers.


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