From Darkness into Light.

Shalom brothers and sisters in Messiah. My name is phil, i am 58 years old and have been born again since december 29th 2003. I was born in a town called Dewsbury in west yorkshire in the uk where i live on the 21st november 1951, i am the oldest of three brothers. My father fought in the second world war , he drove a tank in the dessert and was shot up a couple of times. After the war in about 1948 he met my mother who was german and had came over here to work in the mills, as where i live used to be all mills. Our childhood was just probably as normal as you can get, we went to sunday school, but only because our grandmother wanted us to go. The most i remember about church in them days was every year on witsuntide we got new clothes to join in a big parade, but our family were not christians. It was not untill i was about 12 years old when something dramatic happened in our family which deeply affected me.I remember one night, my mother was going out and a couple had come to the house to take her out. My dad asked her if he could go along, and in her german accent she said oghh Jim you would`nt like it. Well after she had gone out i remember a letter she had wrote, saying i am going to live with this couple for a while, but it was not true as there was another man involved and she left us to be with him. I have forgiven my mum years ago i should say before i go on as you will see later on in this story. For how many nights after that i don`t know, i cried myself to sleep, thinking she would come home but she never did. It affected me a lot more than my other 2 brothers and i believe deep down i blamed my dad but i don`t know why. After that i was not very happy in my youth. When i got to about 14 or 15 i started on the rocky road smoking and then drinking, wine at the back of the off license and so on. By 18 i was drinking a lot, then it got to getting in trouble with the police, i even broke into our own gas meter for beer money and my dad had to pay it back. I was terrible to my dad, every thing he wanted from me i did the opposite. I used to come home drunk and bully my brothers and fight with them and start on my dad, i was a totall rebel. I then started my first time locked up, i was sent to a remand centre for 6 weeks then i got put in a detention centre for 3 months. I didnt like it at all it was very hard getting up at 6 marching everywere . You would think that would learn me a lesson, but it did`nt. I had only been out for about a few months then i was back in the remand centre for about another 6 weeks, then i was sent to Borstall training. That was pretty easy, i even learned a trade in there, i trained to be a welder.I came out of borstall and had a few jobs but my drinking never got any better, infact i just could`nt wait to get to the pub when i had any money. But in a way i thank the Lord that i did go to the pub as that is where i met my wife June. It was on one monday night in the rose and crown, i instantly fell in love with her. We started going out and after about 18 months we got married, neither of us new the Lord.I still continued to drink a lot and got into dope and speed now and again, i dont know how June put up with me for the first year never mind up till now. In about 1976 disaster hit Junes family. Her brother whose name was Roy had a motorbike and wanted rid of it, i took over the payments on it, but i did`nt keep up the payments on it. Roy took the bike back and as he was testing it out probably to sell it, he hit some ice on the street and fell of, the bike came down and landed on his head, after afew days he died. I blamed myself for a long time on and of , it was terrible. In about the next year my wife and i split up, well it was me who left for the good life, i went down cornwall and to cut a long story short i ended up in prison again. I got 9 months in Exeter prison. After coming out again i went to live with my brother out every night drinking , it was just the same nothing had changed. One night when i came home from work to my brothers June was sat there, my eyes nearly popped out, we got back together on another bit of a rocky road. I t probably lasted about another 6 months but i could not stop my self from going out and doing all kinds of things. I ended up leaving her again but it wasn`t long before tragedy hit my family, my dad died. I had been to see him on the friday, he looked very poorly and i told him that i was going down Devon to one of my brothers who lived down there, he told me not to. But on the sunday i went down and stopped in his flat, in the morning on monday there was a telegram came to his flat, it was srange i seemed to know what it was. My dad had died in the night, so it was a good job i did go to my brother. After the funerel, maybe a few months after that my wife ani got back together again. But it was not long after that i started drinking and taking drugs again and going out. Again i finished up in prison for hitting somebody, I spent my time in prison then came out and not long after my daughter Amanda was born 5/4/1980. We stayed together now but i was stil going out a lot. Then i became involved in a reggae band playing drums for a long time, this seemed to give me a purpose. But as you can imagine more drinking and takung more drugs. After a while i was thinking about God,mistakenly i got involved with the Jehovas wittnesses, they realy got to me , i was even going to the Kingdom hall for quite a while. I dont know, but i never realy commited myself totrally to them, i was still drinking. After about 18 months i managed to get free of them as i was beggining to believe if you were not in the Kingdom hall at armagedan you were going to be wiped out, this is what i realy believed. I t was only after somethin was said by them that i managed to leave. They told me that my wifes life was at stake if she didnt keep studying the Bible, this was terrible in my eyes so i got out from them. After that i continued for some years playing in the band going all over the country , staying out all night. In fact i thought if i was not in the band , what could i do in my life, that is more or less all i lived for. Then in about 2001 it all stopped and we just all packed it in. It was then that i stopped going out to the pubs, but i started taking speed and drinking and staying in at home , staying up all night watching porn, i was addicted to it for a while. In the mean time my daughter and son in law became born again believers after they had been addicted to drugs. My son in law had been a dealer in drugs, but they had been miracuesly brought to the Lord.There was conflict after conflict between me and them , i would not have anything to do with it as i had had enough with the jehovas witnesses. But after a bit my wife went to church with them a couple of times. But me being like i was, said i would not go and be a hypocrit, going to church then coming out and doing drugs and drinking. My son in law said , dont let that stop you, i must have been thinking the same old thing, you have to get cleaned up first before coming to the Lord, but we all know that he loves us just as we are, praise His Name. It started getting worse and worse at the time before it got better. My daughter and son in law who were not married as yet knew that in God`s eyes they should get married, it was so bad between us that i was not going to be invited. But God had other plans. I t was a couple of weeks before the wedding that i realized something must be done. My daughter came round to our house and i said to her will you pray for me then. I dont think she could believe her ears, but she said yes. We both started to pray and i repented from my heart, my daughter laid her hands on me,and for about 10 minuets maybe 15 minuets i went int spasms and shaking and coughing. I know after that that a lot of things had been dealt with by the Lord. Within that space of time i was delivered from porn and from smoking and from drugs and most of all totally from my drinking. After that day i had no desire to get drunk or stoned again. On that night i went to bed at half past nine that night which was 29 th dec 2003, i prayed to the Lord if my wife and i were going to serve Him inany way. I will never forget it, after the prayer i felt a surge coming up through my stomach right up my body, i likened it to something like if you took about 5 ecstacy tablets but without taking any thing. I knew then that God had given me his Holy Spirit, Praise His name, Halleluyah. From then on we have had our ups and downs but the Lord has never left us. I still have issues like we all do but the Lord is doing what his word says, He will heal us if we obey Him and love Him with all our heart. I go back to my childhood just for a minuet, when we were children there was never any hugs or talking about loving each other at all, it just wasnt done in them days. I think a lot of people in my generation were the same. But God showed me in one of my countless dreams that he has given me about love. I was sat at home in my dream on the couch and my dad who has been dead 30 years was sat at the side of me. I said to him, Dad I love you, He turned round and said to me , I love you Son. What an awsome dream about the love of God. About 18 months ago, round about summer time in 2008 i was looking at some books in the oxfam shop where i worked driving for them. The book was by a man called Peter Horrobin, it was called healing through deliverence. Well it has always been on my mind about the healing and deliverence ministry.I dont know if anybody has heard about Ellel ministries, but Peter Horrobin is the founder, God showed him in a wonderfull way what He wanted him to do. Well i bought the book and took it home. But another work of God here, i put christian premier tv on my internet and i couldnt believe it, there were about 7 teachings by Peter Horrobin on in what is called the truth and freedom series, i had never heard of him before or seen him.Then what about this, my daughter Amanda came round the next day or round about the next day, the book was laying on the couch. She said to me , where did you get that book, i told her. The night before they were praying for answers from the Lord, she was given a dream, and in the dream she told me that she saw that book, that was before she saw it at my house, i knew then it was all from God, without a shadow of a doubt. I was still having a lot of problems with my temper so i looked up about Ellel grange, which is about 80 miles from where i live. And i found out that you could go on healing retreats there free of charge. So i booked in one thinking it would be about a year before i could go, but to my amazement, it only too a couple of months as some people must have pulled out. Before i was ready to go kept on sensing about the day my mother left us and it was very vivid. Well i went to Ellel grange and had wonderful ministry which i was delivered from lots of things , i had to learn how to forgive myself as well as others, you see if you don`t forgive yourself, you are realy nullifying Gods forgiveness to you. Since going to Ellel grange i have been back a few times to learn about the ministry of healing and deliverence, setting the oppressed free.Last april i was there with my wife, i was talking to the receptionist there, i was explaining that we need to be in a church doing things like that. She told me that there was a pastor who actualy came there to minister, who had a small church in Bradford, about 12 miles from our house. Well the next thing i know i am on the phone to him. We started going there the next week and have been going there ever since, we are very strong on spiritual warfare , it is what we were looking for a long time. I am now involved in the worship , playing guitar and singing praises to the Lord, who knows what God has in store for the future, we just come to Him through the blood of the Lamb every day. What a wonderful loving Abba Father we have. Ps, my mother came to live with us for the last six months of her life, she was born again at 82 praising the lord in her wheel chair, we were pushing her round the super market and she was shouting Jesus loves me, He loves us all. Thank you to all who read this, and i hope it does Bless some body. It is all true.

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