My struggle with life

I wanted to take the chance to tell you my testimony. I grew in a christian home, my mom was raised in the LCMS Lutheran church and my dad didnt really become a christian until he married my mom. We went to church and we talked about god. So i dont really have an interesting testimony until about Freshman year of High School, I am a Junior now and my life has changed so much. Lets start in the summer of 2008 before i became a Freshman, During that summer i went to Cornerstone Festival with my youth group and i learned how to pray and i felt so close to god, but when i got back i got into pornography, i mean it was really bad, like every night. then my dad found out and i stopped. So When the school year started i was having a good year until September 21, 2008. On that day my life changed drastically. I was mowing my yard and i think you can figure it out, I wanted to go to youth group and i wanted to hurry up and finish and the grass ejector got jammed and the mower was a pain in the butt to turn on and so i reached down and the blade nipped my middle finger tip and cut the rest of them. I was rushed to the emergency room and now i have 2 new nails and i am missing my middle finger tip. After that happened i became depressed. Then my youth pastor said we wanted to mentor me and we did that for a while and i felt kinda better but i still wanted to kill myself, One night i actually thought about it in my room, i am glad i didnt do it, I felt like god was punishing me and that this is what i deserve for getting into porn. Then During the Super Bowl 2009 when the Steelers won. We had small groups during half time and the band was playing “You never let go” by Matt Redman, and in the group we were talking about accidents that had happened to us and it got to me and i started crying before i could say something, So i was telling what happened to me while i was crying. When i finished i felt like the world was lifted from my shoulders and i felt like i wasnt in the hole i was in anymore, After that night i felt so close to Christ, I have to admit that i have had my up and downs and i have felt like i was so far from christ, but i am feeling so close to him, i am still fighting the battle with pornography and it is really hard to resist. God put me on this earth to do great things and he put you on this earth to do great things and i cant wait to see where he leads me in my life and the things i do. I have a life to live and i will be able to add to my testimony, God loves you, he got me through my depression and he can get you through your problems. Remember You never let go by matt redman, it helped me to realize that once god gets his hand around me he never lets go. i pray that you reading my testimony realize that God WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU OR FORSAKE YOU, out of the bad things that happen in your life, Good things will happen you just have to be patient.

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