I need Guidence please help!

My name is Barbara Worthington, those of you who have read my past prayer requests know that my husband left me Labor day for another woman. I have no idea where he is or what he is doing. All I have is the imaginations of my heart that are driving me insaine. I am sad one minute happy the next. Whenever I eat I feel sick. I feel like my thoughts are racing out of control. Some of them are not even close to who I am. Then some of them are some of the truth but way off. I think maybe I am loosing it. I can’t sleep at night without a sleep aid. I am trying to hold it together. I have a babysitting Job where I make 200 dollars a week. However, the woman I babysit for is moving and wants her mom to take over watching the 4 kids. Even though they love me and I care about them a lot to. I need this job for the winter. I got laid off a few weeks ago from my seasonal job in town. I have no car right now so I don’t have any transportation. Were a very small town so we don’t have bus transportation or taxis. Which I couldn’t afford anyways. I prayed and asked for guidence about how to get my husband to talk to me and how to open the lines of communication. Against every thing I thought was right I broke into his facebook account. I went to his messages and then read them. He is now even trying to cheat on his new girlfriend. However, there was a number to one of the girls he was flirting with his new number. I fought and argued with myself and text that number. The person said it wasn’t my husband Russell James Worthington Jr. He said something like who is this why are you messing with me? I am not sure if it was him. I am scared to death to call now afraid what I would say or he would say if it was him and he answered. I feel this constant confusion. Like I am double minded. Oh and there’s more. I have been talking to my former boyfriend who I dated before Russell. I let him come over and stay the night. I also have these strong feeling within me saying Forget your husband move on with your life. Let Matt move in. I am flipping out. I slept with him. Then ended up sleeping in the living room. All I could picture was satan making accusations towards me to God. Saying see she still serves me! I repented of my sin of Adultery and asked Jesus to forgive me. I am so confused. I don’t know which way to turn. Then I have had thoughts of suicide I keep saying THOU SHALT NOT KILL! And fight within myself. Everytime I start studying the world a lot I go insane. Everything seems to fall apart. I read the word and study and pray all the day long. I have spoken in tongues. I know the spirit speaks threw me. I even know what I am saying most of the time. I need prayer. I need guidence. I need to be obeidient to the word. I need Jesus. Please pray for me.

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