Barren but and Broken!!!

My name is kelatoya I’m 21 and I’ve been recently diagnosed w/ PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome) and along with this came some other issues, but the most pressing issue is INFERTILITY. I know I’m young and have my whole life ahead of me but the thought of not being able to have kids(physically) is depressing. Now heres what makes it truly depressing in 2007 I found out i was pregnant(4mths to be exact) when when i went off to school(january of 2007) then in febuary I don’t know what happend I was going to my dr appts, doing moderately easy excercises, walking, watching what I ate,taking my vitamins…etc… but on valentines day I had a miscarriage…I was devastated, I with drew from the social atmosphere, I didn’t want to get out of bed, I just wanted to sleep, I would wake up in the middle of the night to cry of a child (some nights I still do). After that I had some other health issues but I (in my ignorance) ignored them until advised by my pastors wife(this was in june of 2008) to seek medical attention. After talking w/ the dr then having some testing done and several perscriptions later, nothing happened, so they send me to an ob-gyn I ended up having to have an ultra sound and that when i find out that I had a baby shaddow (when you have a misscarriage and part of the baby is still in you). So I had a D & C now there telling me i won’t be able to have kids and if i do carry full term that labor will possible kill me and/or the child. That took a huge blow to my pride, I mean God created us to creat life. It made me to feel less of woman, and worthless, I began to draw away more from people all together, I don’t talk much to people now, it was like I was spiritually dead, in my mind it was as if God was telling me i was a discrace to him and that he was ashamed that he made me. I try to cope with this in my own way by not talking to people about it, i feel like i’m about to burst! someone PLEASE HELP!!!

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