Why don’t I feel God like everyone else?

I know that this may seem like a foolish question; however, I am very serious. I was raised pentecostal by a mother who kept me and my two sisters in church twice on Sunday, prayer service on Wednesday nights and Friday night service. I feel that as long as I have been in church I should be farther than I am, yet I sit in church during praise and worship when everyone else is lifting their hands, crying, some speaking in tongues to themselves, some are bowed over literally trembling all over screaming hallelujah, some run, some jump and then theres me.

In 2007 due to a car accident I am a C5 quadriplegic in a wheelchair so the running and jumping is out. I do have use of my arms and my left hand, so I will lift my hand most times, but I’m, looking around actually jealous of the others asking God, why don’t I feel like these people feel. I wantt to be overjoyed and feel whatever makes them behave that way.

When the Pastor gets up and proclaim that the Spirit of the Lord is here, why do I feel like I missed him. Can someone tell me what am I missing that I am not feeling like God is touching me, speaking to me and just looking me over. Has anyone else ever felt this way and what did you do to get over it. I actually envy those who say they have a close, intimate relationship with God because it is what I desire. I pray, I read my bible, though I admit that I am not diligent with it, I go to church faithfully so I am left feeling confused and abandoned, especially when others are constantly professing what God has said to them or done for them. It is sooo discouraging. I just don’t know what I’m not doing or doing wrong.

What do YOU think?

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Comments

  1. wwjd2011 says:

    I think its the church you go to is not for your I can count on one hand I walked into a church and 5 minutes later sometimes longer walked out the spirit wasn’t there and I never returned to those churces again. This isn’t probably you its the church you go to it sounds like for the most part you are walking a christian life so try other churches that will be more fitting for you.

  2. davidchik says:

    It may sound harsh but I would like to give you a challenge – join a short term mission trip to a poor country. Perhaps God wants to meet you there, not here.

    In the meantime I’ll pray for you.

    • Clarinda says:

      I wish I could, I am a quadriplegic since 2007 as a result of a car accident.

      • davidchik says:

        Dear Clarinda,

        I have been praying for you, although I admit that I am too lazy.

        Yes I read your message and I know you are quadriplegic. My aunt too. I forgot how many years ago. She was asleep in a car and forgot to wear the safety belt. The car crashed and she was thrown out of the car. But now, she has been traveling here and there without much problem. She told me the people in airport and the attendents in airplane are very nice. Of course she needs someone accompanying her, but things are OK. So I thought, if your church can sponsor your air ticket, maybe it worths a try? Don’t stay at home for too long, or mushrooms will grow from your hair.

        Accident hurt your body, but it cannot hurt your spirit, also it cannot hurt your value. You are worth much more than sparrows and turtles. Just be happy. A happy spirit is the best medicine. A happy spirit allows you to see things differently – God took something from you, but He might have given back you something that you didn’t realize…

        I shall continue to pray for you.

        Dave

  3. Kingdom Seeker says:

    Feelings can be misleading. What really matters is what you believe, …. what you know. feelings align themselves when faith has had its work done, do not be bothered overmuch by what you feel. Just believe what the Lord says about you and eventually faith will develop and the result of faith will be manifested in you. It is interesting to note that often you feel what you believe.
    Only don’t forget that faith will have to be tested at one time or other.

  4. eamalto says:

    Hello there, I’m a new member to this site.. I also have the same feeling sometimes. I go to church every Saturday or Sunday. I read bible but not diligently. I attend in bible-reading yet I sometimes feel like God is not with me. But just what one of the christian songs says, we do not have to lean not on our own understanding, in all our ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct our path. We have to seek His guidance in everything we do, in every word we say, in everywhere we go, in every plan that we make. I know God is communicating with us. We just have to find some time to focus on Him and Him alone. Do a regular quiet time time with Him. Come boldly upon Him. You can say whatever you want with God, tell him everything.Also do not compare yourself with others, we are all unique in the eyes of God.He loves us definitely. Reading His word regularly is like eating food (Jeremiah 15:16). Just keep on praying and praising Him.In anytime of day we have a full access with God. We have to keep the fire burning. I sometimes feel that way too, but we have to keep on trusting God no matter what. Everything will fall into places. Love and prayers, Lei

  5. I'm not sure how relevant this is but it might be the reason for your problem in this area. Let me just say I'm saying this from a loving and concerning place – I wonder if its to do with your own effort and striving to get into the presence of God or to experience Him … rather than depending and relying on God to bring you into His presence and waiting upon Him to meet with you, by His grace. Like for a long time I lived in a largely self effort/striving based relationship with God. I was like giving things up by my own effort apart from the working of His grace, trying to be obedient in the same way, when I messed up I would make sure to spend more time with God after to 'balance' my falling etc. In honesty I lived in a lot of anxiety, fear and condemnation. God, by His mercy has restored me to an understanding of His grace again. There's nothing in the christian life that is not meant to come through receiving from God. Even doing good works is supposed to come through receiving His grace on a daily basis. Just like we received Christ, forgiveness of sins and a restored relationship with God along with everything else through putting our faith in Jesus, we are supposed to continue in that receiving attitude the whole of the christian life. We have nothing to offer except looking to God by faith for what we seek. A good way to describe faith is a 'looking to' and 'waiting upon' God from the heart act. You look to God in childlike faith to work in you or to receive His grace. So for instance even in your current predicament, instead of trying harder, reading your bible more or striving to feel God, ask Him for His grace to deal with the situation and look to Him to sort out this problem and to enable you to experience Him, His presence and His love. Ask for His  grace to do this and look to Him with a childlike faith to do this for you.

     

    Heres a relevant scripture 'For if by the one man's offense death reigned through the one, much more those who receive abundance of grace and the gift of righteousness will reign in life through the One, Jesus Christ.' (Romans 5:17)

     

    Heres some other scriptures you may want to meditate on – 1 Corinthians 15:102 Corinthians 1:12, 2 Corinthians 9:8, Titus 2:11-12, Hebrews 4:16, Romans 5:1-2, 2 Timothy 2:1, Hebrews 13:9, Galatians 2:21, Galatians 1:15, Galatians 3:2, 5.

     

    Just to clarify, I'm not speaking against giving things up for God, reading the word, doing good … I'm clarfying that God wants these things to be in response to the lavish grace He has for us. He wants us to receive His grace on a daily, even moment to moment basis through faith, through looking to Him with a childlike faith for grace and receiving grace from Him daily through faith. I often found my own self striving and self efforts would block Gods working in me and being able to receive from Him, instead of just looking to Him and waiting upon Him for grace, like for everything, and whatever situation you are in – with a childlike faith and dependance.

     

    I've just kinda been typing, really hope this has helped in some way. I'll be praying for you.

     

    Blessings

    Daniel

    • Clarinda says:

      I can relate to what you just said because I do feel that if I skip a few days and don’t read the bible or miss a church service that I have let God down and so I’ll try to read extra long next time or make it a point to try not to miss another service. Basically I feel like I am not doing enough and that is why I am not growing. So many teachers and preachers stress that you must be hungry for the word. That you must read and study the bible everyday in order to know God. So this is why I feel that maybe I am not doing enough.

      I have taken note of the scripture you have given me to read and I will make it a point to meditate on them. Thank you so much for your response.

  6. There is something greater here going on then you realize, in what the Lord is doing with this. He’s allowing for you to feel this so that you pursue Him deeper & seek Him with your own individual experience with Him. Sometimes it may appear as if He may not be there or listening to you, or that you may not be growing in Him, but He does seem to ‘pull back’ in order that you want Him more. It’s great that you are experiencing the need & want for a deeper relationship with Him but also it’s important not to compare yourself to others in this process. It’s best to compare yourself to the Lord, so that you really grow & learn in Christ. I do believe from what you have shared here that the accident you had was traumatic & effected your heart at a deep level, however what I see the Lord showing me in this to share with you is, He is healing the wounds you have from the ordeal. He is trying to stop you from comparing yourself to others – as this is not a way to determine your worth in Him. This is just one example that He’s allowing for you to see how He sees things, regarding yourself. Do not compare yourself to others. Look to Him for who you are & what are to be in Him, as you grow in your relationship with Christ. Focus on hearing His voice & working on the leading & guidance of His ways into your life. This will take away the ways you see yourself – not by a worldly standard but by a heavenly standard through the Lord. Allow Him to change this area within your heart so that you may be healed & see the Power of Christ working in & through you, by your own experiences that He leads your through.
    (Some Scripture verses to meditate on & study: 2Cor. 10:1-18; Gal. 6:1-18; Phil. 3: 1-16)

    • Clarinda says:

      I know that it is wrong to compare myself to others and I try hard not to, but I always end up doing just that. I know that the quiet, just sit still with bowed head, softly praising God worshiper is just as Godly as the loud, clap your hands, stomp your feet worshiper but somehow I just feel that they are more genuine than I. I really can’t explain or understand why I feel like I do, but I will definitely do more focusing on hearing God rather than just constantly rambling on in prayers to him. Thank you for your response.

      • Sometimes you can ask God but when you feel like he might not answe or you might not know it can worry you. Thats kinda whats going on with me now because I posted about the sign I got in the other forum. So how do you know if you can trust or not?

        • You can trust that God will work all things together for good for you if you love God.

          You can trust that when your heart has received assurance from God – a special peace – concerning something you have prayed about it – that God will manifest it in time.

          Sometimes you have to pray and wrestle in prayer until you receive this peace.

          Other times as you seek God He will reveal something else to you that you did not know at first concerning your issues.

          • Your last post showed confirmed you did actually see me…that I’m not invisible.. You post showed me I still mattered…so thanks for that. Michael, of everything you said, this, ” Other times as you seek God He will reveal something else to you that you did not know at first concerning your issues.”. That was something I never seriously considered and I believe thats a key to the source of my confusion, angst and worry. That short nugget in your post said so much. Thank you! Michael be blessed.

            Die4U
            YELLOW

      • Sometimes you can ask God but when you feel like he might not answe or you might not know it can worry you. Thats kinda whats going on with me now because I posted about the sign I got in the other forum. So how do you know if you can trust or not?

  7. Hello Clarinda,
    I can relate to your post,there have been times when I have not felt God too. I believe that sometimes this happens so that our faith is built up.We need to learn not to lean on our “feelings” when it comes to the things of the Lord, but simply to trust His Word. This is usually temporary,and eventually we sense the presence of the Lord again. However, it seems you are saying you never feel the Lord? Your own words may hold the clues. You say you look around and are jealous of others,that you actually envy other believers close relationship with the Lord.
    Could it be possible that a root of bitterness has sprung up in your heart? That could most definitely “clog” up the “pipeline” to God.It really isn’t about how much you read the Bible(although that is a good thing to do,as God speaks to us through His Word) It is a relationship,and like all relationships it takes time.It also takes complete honesty.God already knows your deepest feelings,and He wants you to bring them to the surface,so you and He can deal with them.I suggest getting alone with Him,carve out some time,then just start talking out loud to Him.Tell Him everything….talk,confess,cry even scream!!!! He can take it ! Then be quiet….Listen ,read His Word.It takes a little effort to hear His voice.Sometimes we dismiss something we hear to quickly,not sure if it really was God.
    I feel for you,because I have been there! I speak from my own experience,and I hope this helps! Feel free to private message me if you need to talk with someone,I would love to get to know you better!
    Sincerely,Beloved

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