What do you expect? A testimony?!


  Well that is what I'm going to give you.  How many of you have a Testimony that you would die For?   I do and here is Mine!!
 I was just a 5 year old Little girl & I went to a Birthday party where I first heard of a Loving Jesus.  They asked us if any of us wanted to know this Jesus & my little hand just flew up as fast as I could raise it.   I was given a little track & oh boy! I Couldn't wait to tell my Momma!  When I got home, I told my Mom and she hugged me and said that's good.   Then she took me to the mormon church.  She was raised LDS, so it was only natural for her to take me there.  Later we moved back to Utah.  I learned nothing more of My Loving Jesus.  
 I was So unhappy, I felt alone & awkward.   My family wasn't a happy one & it was a rough life for us all.  My Dad was a hard man.  He didn't seem to know much about being a good husband or he just wasn't happy with my mom.  She did her best with us all.   She was lost in what Dad wanted.  I had a older brother & sister &  I was the "spoiled baby" & I liked it!  I was often very ill & they weren't.  My sister wanted to be baptized and I wanted to so she would like me. Well we were both baptized Mormon & when they laid hands on me I Burned in my chest & I felt it was wrong.  I  thought maybe I was flawed.  So growing up in that religion,  I did many shameful things, because I didn't feel loved.  I hurt many by this & I errored many many times. We had friends who talked me & my sister into doing a Seaonce in my sisters basement bedroom. We did this in the Dark & that day I saw a demon reach out of the closet after my sister & I Flew over & flipped on the light. It was gone.  I Never played that again.
  For many years I had several illnesses different surgeries.  I got older & graduated from High School. I was still so lonely and I discovered partying. My best friend & I went to bars, carroused & carried on.  At 22 I Lost my virginity. What a mistake that was. No one ever Told me the reasons not to have sex. They just let you know that it would dissappoint your parents.  I made Too many errors in that area, but in November of 1986 I went to a concert with a friend & that's when I heard about My Jesus who Loved me again.  He is a faithfull God.  Yet when I went up and asked for forgiveness, we were shuffled  out to meet with others & No-one came to me. Before I knew it we were shuffled us back in.  So I didn't learn anything new about this Jesus.  I only knew that he Loved me.  And I fell down over & over again.
I met my husband & we married in 1990 & 6 months later I was pregnant with my oldest daughter. Oh when she was born what I gift I had just been given.  I was determined to know God better.  So I got me a bible and learned about This Jesus that Loves me & realized how much he really Loved me. I had received my Gift of the holy spirit & Spoke in tongues not long after. I realized that God had pulled me out of the Jaws of Death 2 times. I had been in an accident when I was 4. I had fallen out of our car on the freeway & I had rolled my car right before I got married. I went end over end, landed on all 4 wheels &  bruised everywhere but nothing was broken. Later on in my marriage I realized that I was married to a man, Who had many problems, we were married for about 7 years when I became pregnant with our 2nd daughter.  I litterally went crazy during the first 5 months.  I lost control and Hit my oldest child. It was horrible; I felt hurt and I caused her pain on that day I will never be able to repair. It started as one big slap & serious screaming. That poor kid probably thought a demon was screaching at her. After I had her little sister things were never the same between us. But my heart was broken by the fear I put in my oldest.   During this time my spouse wanted a divorce & I didn't.  So I fought him &  one day I was driving home talking to God and I asked him what I should do. He said let him go.  When I told my spouse that I would let him go he just changed his mind. We stayed together & he finally quit drinking & doing drugs & it took time, but I was Happy. Later I was at work, I went to stand up & couldn't all the way. I became so ill and went to many Dr.s & 1 decided to check into it further. He found an Adhession from my lower intestines attatched to my stomach & removed it!  I deffinately would have died if he hadn't found it.   I went back to Work & later changed Jobs. During work one day I went numb on one half of my body & couldn't get back to work due to  a headache for 2 weeks straight.  The DR ran several tests & found that I had MS. Fibromyalgia & Deteriorating Arthritis. I went home & told my spouse that if he wanted to leAve that Now was the time. For a year I could hardly walk and I couldn't speak without studdering or sounding drunk. Each Day it got tougher.  During this time I started singing in the worship team at Church & my spouse played bass guitar.  It was great!!   Except every now & again it would  wear me out. Then my pastor moved & our Church broke up. This became heartbreaking. My husband & I didn't agree on some things at this time. He went and bought some tickets For Bon Jovi & I got upset. I was not very nice and made a huge deal of it.   All he wanted was to get out and enjoy music with me & all I thought was that here I am trying to get healed & he wants to hear secular music. I am ashamed of the pain I caused him that day.
 Later sex became a big issue with him & I just felt used.  Not Love what so ever.  I was having difficulty walking & at that time I couldn't stay awake. My oldest was maturing & I was trying to be a good Mom, but I just couldn't stay awake.  So I asked my Mom (who lived nearby) to help with my daughters.  One day I was home alone & had trouble breathing. I woke up in the ICU 1 week later with pneumonia. I was very close to death & my husband was behaving strangely.  When I made it home I was starting to be more aware & I had some trouble with some neighbors.  So I prayed to God to help me to help those lost or to please remove the evil that was happening in  my life. Awhile later,  I started falling asleep again. On one night my oldest came home to spend time with her dad & I (my youngest was with my mom).   My husband brought me a drink and it tasted funny and he had started drinking again. When I woke up I had to use the bathroom & walked up on him with our Daughter. I fought him.  We ended up in the front room. Then I woke up again and thought I dreamt it.  I had to go to the bathroom & he was in our room this time. It wasn't a dream.  It was a horrible nightmare while I was awake. She was drunk out of her head & Never the same again.  He is in prison now & I don't Hate him. But I really hate what he did. We are divorced. 
I know that God saved me at least 5 times from the jaws of death.   I have been Down that valley several times. 
 My relationship with Jesus has Cost me the Love of my Daughter and Someday it may cost me my Life.  But he has been faithful with me even when I was faithless.  I still suffer from the 3 diseases, yet, when I think I can't go on, I get encouraged by his spirit & my fellow brothers & sisters in Christ.   I hear people who ask how can you say that you would Die for what you believe. That's easy for someone who has everything to gain when they are absent from their body.  To be present with the Lord, Awesome!!!!  This life will kill you.  So for me it is much harder to run the race and live for Christ. But its the only race worth running in the first place.   I don't own this person, I was bought and paid for at a Very precious price.  Just as all of you are.  No matter what happens I am never alone & I can't lose.   I have stumbled & he still Loves me.  He has seen me through many losses &  I am So rich in his Love.  If you think this broken heart is going to kill me. Take courage! and remember, God Heals the Broken Hearted. What have you got to lose, your life. Guess what, your going to lose it anyway.  So make life worth living & let Jesus;" the Light of the World", Shine through you.  Rejoyce, c'mon & refill yourself with joy.   I dare you. You will never be the same.  His yoke is so much lighter than any  you carry on your own. And remember when others say that you are nothing;  Jesus thinks that your to Die for! AMEN!!!!   If you have fallen, let him pick you up and carry you if he must, until you can walk again.  Heaven awaits you.  And there is pleanty of room in my Fathers House. Amen. Bless you All, Your Sister in Christ Jesus, Annette
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