actually i don’t know what’s happening to me now, but i know that only God can help me with my situation, i asked some people but i cannot relate with the answers. i feel weak these past months because i thought there’s a renewal of my family’s life, but they are still the same, i thought that they begun to have changes because they regularly attend Sunday service. my brother is a gay and he already confessed with my childhood friend on what he is, there’s changes from the start of faith but now, he is the same as gay when he was before, i feel weak because i cannot even do what’s the proper thing to do, when i was still on board with my previous work in a passenger ship i always remind them, but they cannot response in a good way. i know that it feel strange for them to see me that God changed me a lot. i know that sometimes here in our house they can observe on what i’m doing but i’m not perfect, but if i did something that God will convict me, i cried out for forgiveness. now i really feel so weak. but i’m still holding on.

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