Video of my Testimony http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yRsW3j31H_I
Rejection, being bullied and hurt drove me to become isolated. A vision of hell allowed me to come to a point where I could confess Jesus as Lord and be set free from the dark forces that had intruded into my life.
Isolated, unable to trust and being bullied
Throughout my whole life of 28 years I have been in much distress. I have been pushed to and beyond the boundaries and I became so isolated. I had much trouble making friends. I was unable to trust anyone, couldn’t experience love, nor did I feel that I belonged. In school, the bullying was constant with all the beatings and the teasing.
Forgiveness sets us free from hatred
Throughout eight years of Primary and Secondary school, the same group of people bullied me countless times. Thankfully I knew about Jesus and this helped me forgive those who hurt me. Doing this set me free from anger, hatred, bitterness and revenge that I held towards those who hurt me.
All this helped me understand more the sacrifice Jesus made for our sins and how with the help of Jesus we can defeat evil without reverting to physical action or cursing. At the age of 18, I decided that I would work hard and at college I received the highest grades in my classes.
The terrible effect of a family breakdown
Satan circles all our lives trying to find our weak points, trying to make us stumble and sin. He knows that any of us can turn to Jesus and become a soldier for God and he sees us all as a huge threat. With God all things are possible.
Satan focused on my family. He worked hard to cause my mom and dad to argue and to shout and to fight. My dad became selfish and thought only of himself and not of his children. My dad did not take me out and do things other fathers and sons usually do. The terrible and awful breakdown of our family is something none of us ever want to go through again.
The devil’s lies versus God’s truth
During this time, I was in such a vulnerable position that Satan played on this by tempting me to steal some money from my father’s money box. The temptation was so strong, as Satan presented me a mixture of truth and lies in order to get me to sin. “Take the money, he owes you pocket money for the past three weeks and he hasn’t given you anything. Just give it back next week.”
One time I refused and said to myself; “No! I’m stealing, this is wrong I won’t do it!” I heard God’s voice saying; “Well done! I’m so proud of you … you have done the right thing. Stealing isn’t the way.”
But the devil’s voice came back even stronger for the next few weeks, trying to make me steal the money again. I knew it was wrong and refused to listen but he kept on pushing me until I lost the will to fight back. My parents found out and I was confronted and the guilt that was left upon me ate through my soul. I heard the devil’s voice laughing at me for days on end and I could see his grinning face wherever I went.
I felt lost … felt there was no hope. Satan said to me; “Richard, you did a terrible thing, it’s time to move on … there is nothing you can do now. God made you feel guilty and so it is His fault.”
Life and death decision not to blame God
I realised that what was about to happen was a life and death situation. So I responded to Satan; “No! I am not going to blame God. It is not His fault! I will not blame God for making me feel guilty because I was the one who did this act. I will continue to go to church; I will bear this burden for the rest of my life. Even if God sends me to hell, I will never blame Him, and I will never hate Him!”
That was a life changing moment for me when I chose to stand with God and not to believe the lies of Satan. This I know fuelled Satan’s fury and he stayed very close, waiting for opportunities in which he could tempt me to sin against God.
Living in lust and addicted to pornography
The biggest sin which consumed my life was lust and my addiction to pornography. I did not know at all what I was doing. Jesus for good reason warns us; “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matthew 5:27-28).
Jesus knows actions start with thoughts and because He loves us, He does not want us to have our thoughts filled with adultery. Jesus wants only the best for us. Thoughts come from God, the devil or ourselves. We must “take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5).
So many in our society are entangled and trapped by lust and pornography. I pray they see that Jesus can set them free from this destructive obsession.
A time to forgive my parents
Then came a time when God needed me to confront my parents. He wanted me to forgive them and to make peace with my dad and my mom for the things that had happened during the breakdown of our family.
The most hurtful thing that I ever heard from my own father was; “I don’t care if you’re depressed and how you feel about me and mom but we are getting back together! You’re so selfish … it’s always about you, you all the time!” (My parents did get back together after I moved out of home.) The anger, bitterness, and hatred towards my parents was eating me up slowly and over time God showed me I had to let it go and forgive my parents.
A disturbing vision showing me what hell would be like
I had a dream that I was taken across the universe at lightning speed. I was in awe, shock and amazement with the scale and size of the universe and how beautiful it looked. I felt so small as if I was a tiny spec of light in a vast black open space.
I came across a planet that was black and had a rusty surface. The closer I got to it the more I could see the surface was hot and on fire. As I got closer I saw huge lava rock mounts like volcanoes poking out of the planets crust. Standing on top of them were people but they appeared as black figures. They were burning and set on fire. I came closer to the ground and I saw a vast black lake as far as the eye could see.
Pockets of black lava rock islands were scattered around this black lake. Then I looked up into the sky and I saw creatures that looked at first like bats, but they were really huge black winged demons. They were flying in the distance towards me. They were all set ablaze; the fire from their bodies lit up the black sky in red.
I then started to hear and see people fall with me to this place. They were all screaming, shouting and groaning in pain and agony. I have never heard anything so terrible in my life and I can still recall their cries and screams in my head right now. It was time to have Jesus revealed to me
After this experience a pastor took me out to have a light meal and to discuss my life and to talk about God. I told the pastor about the dream who said “Richard it is not a dream … it is a revelation! God loves you and He shared this vision of hell so others can see that hell does exist.” As our discussion continued, the pastor had one thing in mind for me and that was to bring me to Jesus Christ!
Body possessed by evil
As we prayed, while repeating the words confessing Jesus is Lord and that He rose from the dead, I felt a strong heat … a presence that I knew was evil. It tried to disrupt us and to get me to mock the pastor. By confessing with my mouth, heart, and soul that I believe in Jesus, Satan was being tortured! He couldn’t bear these words and took over control of my body.
I could still hear and feel the burning and heat inside of me. Through me, Satan was screaming in pain and shouted at the pastor,
“Damn you! Damn you! … Leave me alone! … Leave me alone!! Satan was almost defeated; he wanted to fight so hard to keep a hold of me so that I couldn’t confess that Jesus is Lord and that I believe in Him.
Satan is a defeated foe
The pastor shouted; “Richard!! Finish it!!” I had enough strength and finished my confession and suddenly I felt a huge force leave my body. I was out of breath, exhausted as if two powerful forces were pulling my soul. The pastor shouted; “Richard! Praise be to God! You are with Jesus, and you are saved!! Satan is defeated! Your name is now in the Book of Life!”
I will be forever thankful for what Jesus did for me
I have expressed countless times how thankful and in awe I am of Jesus for freeing me and showing me the truth. It is now my job to tell everyone of my experience. Through the blood of Jesus I am set free and I am no longer a slave to sin. I am renewed in my spirit. I am a new creation, which is in the likeness of God … created in righteousness and holiness of the truth. Trying to be ‘good’ does not make you a Christian
Praise God, for showing me how far away I was from Him and how dead in sin I really was. He wanted me to cry out to Him so He could save me from my sins and wash me clean through the blood of His son.
When I was younger I thought I was saved but I was lost because Jesus was not the Lord of my life. I was trying to live a ‘good life’ by following rules and this does not make you right with God. You must have your sins washed away by the blood of Jesus Christ or else you will still pay for these sins when you die.
Yes, we have some difficult times ahead of us, but I feel stronger as each day passes as I am prepared for the things to come upon this world. The Holy Spirit has led me to pray each night and to start reading the Bible from the start rather than bits here and there.
God Bless, Richard