My way to Jesus Christ
I grew up with a dad who was a minister, and I have always been searching and looking for answers in the spiritual world. Even though my dad was a minister, we were not at all living like Christians. We went to church on Sundays, but only too many people do that without being saved. Had a dream when I was about 6. Dreamt I was present when Jesus was crucified. I saw the whole scene from afar in a bluish color. When I told my parents about it, I got no reaction.
I have studied music all my life, playing the piano. I studied at the Royal Danish Academy of Music and later went to Rome for further studies. I even played the organ for a couple of years to increase my possibilities of working with music, but for some reason could not stand the thought of a future within the Danish church. So at the age of 29 I seriously doubted that this was what I really wanted, and I was worried and thinking very deeply about what the purpose of my life really was.
One night, after coming home from work (teaching piano 2 evenings per week) I turned my radio on and there was this program about astrology. I got so fascinated by it, and I felt that this was something that I wanted to go deeper into. So I started studying astrology and became really good at it. Then I met my first husband, and while finishing the astrology studies I became pregnant with my first child. Everything looked just perfect. Soon I got my own radio shows and worked as an astrologer doing peoples charts.
There was not the thing I didn’t want to try out. I consulted clairvoyants, tarot card readers and numerologists. I had aura readings, regressions (going back to previous lives), you name it. And I thought I was happy. A couple of years later I had my son, and not long after that, we were able to buy a small house. But not long after, problems started. I was busy doing my radio shows, but I didn’t make any money. My ex husband was deeply rooted in the new age world, treating people with alternative medicine. He was also studying Theosophy, A. Bailey and Mme Blavatsky, the secret doctrine. And since he had lived a couple of years in Turkey he had more than flirted with Islam and been praying with the Muslims in the mosque. My ex-husbands income was unstable; sometimes he made lots of money, sometimes very little. But every time he had money, he used it to invest in his own business, so we could never afford holidays or even sometimes to give the kids the clothes they needed.
I slowly got back to the music because a colleague asked me if I would like to teach some piano students. I didn’t really want to, but I had to, due to the lack of money. But I never left my interest for the occult, and was also teaching astrology in evening school. At that time we had also come across numerology, and how your name could have a good or a bad influence on your life. We had our names analyzed and ended up changing not only our own names, but also our kid’s names. After a period of 6 months, cleansing out the system (that was the normal reaction after changing the name), all the good things should start to happen. Okay they did!!! Our house had increased its value, we could sell it and afford buying a property and build our own house. So we did!! And everything was really exciting. We had this huge wooden house out on the country side, and of course everything in it would be brand new too. But the people who built it turned out to be less than thorough, and furthermore, they drank too many beers while working, so the result was rather disappointing. In fact, something had to be done about it, and since my ex-husband was busy at work, I was the only one who had to deal with the men working on the house, I had to tell them what was wrong, I had to write letters of complaint, and later, when we hired a lawyer, I had to communicate with him during the whole process. My husband just came home from work, tired, expecting me to handle the tough stuff.
This whole process with the house lasted for 3 years. It was exasperating. We were not close and had not been for years. But after this process with the house, our marriage was dead. There had been incidents in this house that were rather scary. While going through the process, my husband’s mother died, and 6 months later also my father. One year after that something weird happened in the house. And I know now that it was not as romantic as I then perceived it to be. One morning after having practiced the piano in my music room, I went to the kitchen for lunch before going to work. When I came back to the music room to get my things for work, a strange smell of roses filled the room. And it gradually spread to the whole house. I couldn’t understand where it came from, and I looked everywhere to see if I could locate the source. Impossible! The smell grew stronger and stronger. We had no flowers in the garden, I wasn’t wearing any perfume. There were no flowers inside the house that could provide that kind of strong smell. And it was roses. And it lasted the whole afternoon. Everybody in the house could smell it, also my kids. The strange thing is, it was like a hint to the name I took after consulting the numerologist. It was Rose! When I had to choose my new middle name there were 2 names with the same energy I would choose between. One was Regina the other was Rose, and since I couldn’t decide, I wanted to sleep on it. That night I had a dream: I was standing in this garden smelling roses, and then I knew what my name was gonna be. So it’s all pretty weird. Now, long time after, I can see it was all so much in the darkness! It was satanic influences that caused all of this to happen, and NOT as I thought at the time, a sign from my deceased father. How very deceiving Lucifer is!!!
We had a trial on the house that went on for 3 years. This was from 2002 -2005. In 2004 I had already decided that I was going to leave my husband, but I stayed until the trial was almost over, because I thought I had to.
My husband reacted in a way that I had not expected. He threatened to commit suicide. I was determined to not let it influence me. His ongoing threats lasted for 6 months! At the same time it was going downhill with his work. Danish television came to his clinic with candid cameras and a patient pretending to be ill with cancer. And after that show had been broadcasted, within 6 months his business was dead.
I had taken the kids and moved to the town where I was working. I had to do that, because at that time, I could not afford a car, and transportation from the town we lived in to the town I worked in was practically impossible. My best friend had found a house in the local newspaper that I could rent. I was happy. All my problems seemed to have been solved.
But shortly after having moved into my new house I found out, that it was owned by Hells Angels supporters. I had rented the 2 upper floors, but the basement had been rented out to a young guy who was supposedly studying, so he would be very quiet and almost never at home. Soon, he left, and in came other people that looked more like Hells Angels type of guys with tattoos and stuff. Very unpleasant! They were playing loud techno music, and since I had gotten more work, my kids had to be home alone after school until I came home around 6 – 6:30 pm. I was very worried and deeply concerned about how to handle this new problem. On top of that, many of the things in the house that they had promised to fix never got fixed. We had a very, very cold winter that year, and the house was badly insulated. So we froze, and my daughter was sick for several months.
At the same time my kids were not happy with their new school. And I could understand why, so I found another school for them. Not that it was much better, my daughter handled the change very well, but my son didn’t. He refused to go to school, and I had to take some of his privileges away from him until he would. That didn’t happen. He missed his old school and his old friends, he said. I had a feeling, he wanted to protect his dad, though. Kids are not stupid, and my son knew very well what had been going on with his dad’s job too. Besides, I am sure he had heard his dad cry often in the morning. Because I heard it.
So before the first trial with the house was over, I now faced another trial: the fight over our kids. As if it had not been enough already!! If I had not already thought things had been tough, this was the time I found out!!! It was horrible!!! No words can describe how awful it was. I could no longer sleep at night. Well, I could fall asleep, because I was exhausted. But I would wake up at 3:30 or 4 am, and then I could not go back to sleep. The thoughts were haunting me. I was scared, terrified. Letters from attorneys came and I was worried about how to be able to pay for it all. Then the trial of the house ended in an agreement. Fortunately the firm that built it admitted to all the flaws, and ended up paying. Some of the most important flaws got fixed, and the house was put for sale. When it finally got sold we were so fortunate to get the money out of it that it had cost us. So at least money was not a problem.
Because of the trial over the kids, I was moving closer to a nervous breakdown. I had to get help from a psychologist. And at the same time I was constantly calling my old astrology teachers and clairvoyants in the hope that they could provide me with the answer that I wanted to hear: that I would keep my kids. I saw the psychologist once a week, and she was convinced I was going to keep both my kids. My daughter I knew wanted to stay with me; it was my son that was the problem. The clairvoyant was convinced too, that my son would stay with me. But I was scared and deeply worried. There was absolutely no peace in my life – none whatsoever!!! I also went to see a kinesiologist who gave healing, and who could also see back in former lives to find the explanation to why I had to go through all of this.
The day of the trial came after it had been postponed for 4 weeks. We went through 3 hours of interrogation, that later turned out to be totally unnecessary, since an interview with the kids of 30 minutes each would determine that my daughter was to stay with me, but my son would move back to his dad. I was devastated but found myself completely derived of strength to go on fighting. I simply gave up. But I cursed astrology, that had no longer been effective, and I cursed the clairvoyant who had been so mistaken. And I cursed and screamed to my so called spiritual guides, and told them, that they were doing a lousy job and that they were now fired!! The next day all the flowers in my house had died!!
My daughter and I were now alone in the big Hells Angels house. And 2 months after the trial we were given a notice of 3 months to move out. Now they wanted to sell the house. New problem!! How to find another place to live???
In the nick of time, the day before we had to move out, we got a nice apartment not far from the house. Next problem: I had a hard time getting the deposit back for the house, I got it but not without having to go through more hassle.
When I took my kids to Zakynthos, Greece for the summer vacation that same year, I was broken. I had no more strength .The last 4 ½ years had been the worst in my life, and I was so tired and exhausted. I needed desperately to feel loved and come back to a life worth living. I was now almost full time on my job, and I had bought a car with some of the money I got back from the house we sold. But I had one more very unpleasant surprise waiting for me.
Two months after the vacation in Greece, around the same time that I met my second husband, the man through whom I became saved, my mom dies unexpectedly on a trip to Italy. She died from a stroke, and we had to wait for two weeks to get her body home. Had I not met my new husband at that time, I don’t know how I would have coped. And I did have to take 6 weeks leave from my job. I met him on a dating site on the internet. He was American, but had lived in Denmark for 23 years. We chatted for a while and finally decided to meet. He came to my town and went to a café where he spent 2 hours talking about Jesus. That sure was a different approach. It was interesting, and in a way it was not intimidating. After all, my dad was a minister. Only, I did not understand one word this man was saying. After the meeting we agreed on staying in touch. So we emailed each other and talked about definition of love according to the Bible and according to psychology and new age. We agreed on NOT having a relationship other than friendship. Little did I know that seeds had already been sown in my heart.
We kept emailing and texting on the cells, and one day he said to me: I am fine, but I am lonely. So I agreed to pay him a visit. My pc crashed, and he was the guy who could fix it, so one visit turned into more, and so it happened. He had told me, that you should not be unequally yoked, so I knew. One day he showed me places in Scripture, where it says that astrology is idolatry – and a sin according to God. He told me later that my silence was roaring.
After a while I started feeling uncomfortable having all the occult books in my book shelves. The first thing to go, were the tarot cards. They went directly in the trash. A couple of days went by; then I started pulling all books out of the shelves in order to carry them down to the basement. I told him I had done that, and he was amazed. I wanted to get rid of the stuff, but he said, leave it there for right now. I then had the following thoughts: how am I going to rid myself of the books? I asked Patrick what should I do? I said, I could sell them, they are worth a good deal of money. Of course, others could buy them, and I don’t want to pass this on to others, I could just dump it in the trash, but then again others could find them and read. So I decided that the only right thing to do would be to burn them. Without knowing it, I had just had the same thoughts that they had in Acts 19:19. And on a cold day in march, my occult books were all burnt on a beach near Copenhagen. It took 3 hours! And even though it was a black poisonous smoke coming from the fire, we were practically left undisturbed while burning the books, although it must have been a peculiar sight!!
One month later, on april 2nd 2007, we got married.
But I shall never forget the day when I received Jesus into my heart. It was when all my occult books were beginning to haunt me. It was an early morning, I would drive my daughter to school. It was a November morning 2006, and it had been snowing. I remember leaving home, stepping out into the snowy darkness at 7:45 am. There was this special light because of the snow. The sound from the freeway nearby was different, too. It was like I was walking in my own little protected world. I couldn’t wait to drop my daughter off so I could be alone in this atmosphere. And on the way home in the car, I was thinking of Patrick and how in love I was. I decided to pray to Jesus, and ask Him to show me how to believe in Him the right way. And while I was praying, these words came out of my mouth: You only have to listen to My Voice!! And then tears came running down my cheeks. I couldn’t wait to get home and call Patrick and tell him about it!!
It is not because I didn’t see the warning signs. I did. But I chose to ignore them. I was so much in love. And since he had said to me, that this was his first Christian marriage, and this would be so much different than his 3 other marriages, that weren’t Christian, he had special hopes for this one. And he told me, that if I ever had a problem with him, my best weapon would be prayer. All I had to do was pray to Jesus and say: Lord, fix Patrick! I would soon be in great need of that prayer!! Before we got married, he told me that I was in for a treat, because he had to love me as Christ loves the Church. I remember saying, that I didn’t think any man was really capable of that. He replied: you wait and see!!
Problems started with him not being able to accept my kids. And I don’t want to praise my kids, but they are very quiet and well behaved. From others I had heard that this was the problem he had with his 3rd wife too, not being able to make it work with her daughter. He had 3 children of his own, 2 of them not living at home anymore, and a son at the age of 12 who stayed with us a great deal of the time. He didn’t have the best relationship with any of his kids, and his daughter who was now 22, oractivally never called him. He had a temper that he had a hard time controlling. Another thing that concerned me was, that all the things he had stressed the importance of in a marriage, he would now avoid, such as praying together. I was very unhappy about that. As time passed other problems turned up. I shall never forget the day I found porn on his computer. I was devastated. And all he could do was apologize in a text message.
And so everything went good for a time, and the things could go wrong completely out of the blue. It became normal for me to live with the threat of divorce, every time we had an issue: “We can talk divorce” was his remark. As in “do it my way, or not at all”.
To make a long story short, other addictions followed, alcohol and the pills he had to take for his bad back. I became suspicious of them just being a bad habit too, since he didn’t have any problems moving in and out underneath our car when he fixed it.
So emotional and spiritual abuse became daily life. He twisted Scripture, to try to convince me of his version of submission. He was the boss, and everybody in the house had to submit to whatever he decided. He ended up being physically abusive too. 3 times I have had to call the police, because of his temper. We separated twice. I moved away after having been threatened by him. I lived with my daughter in a shelter for 3 weeks before being able to find another place to live.
After 4 months in my new place, which I know for sure that God had helped me get, we decided to reconcile and forgive each other, so I moved back home to him and took my daughter with me, even though she was not very happy. He demanded I put him over her at any time. And then on top of that he accused me of not putting him first….. after everything I have dragged my daughter through with him!!!
But things became worse the second time. But since I had grown in the Lord, he wasn’t able to twist Scripture anymore. I knew when he was wrong. And that caused him to finally become violent in a way that I had to call an ambulance one night. After that, he worked on moving back to the States again since he had inherited his dad’s house. A house we had planned on living in together. A few weeks before he became violent, we had actually been to the US Embassy to apply for a visa. But I guess God didn’t plan for me to live in California.
So this marriage was a tough start to my Christian life. I learned James 1:8 the hard way. And that is the sin that I have learned to hate the most: double mindedness.
I have had attacks from satan ever since I became a Christian. But considering the fact that I used to work for him as an astrologer, it must have been a real pain to see me become a follower of Jesus Christ.
Since I gave my life to Christ, I have not been in need of anything. He provides. And He shows me all the time. If I as much as starts to worry, He puts it to shame! Praise Jesus!
I know my true identity! I am a child of God. I am the bride of Christ. I will follow Him and honor Him all my life.
He has delivered me from the snare of the fowler and from the noisome pestilence. Psalm 91:3
I owe Him my life. Praise Jesus. I belong to You, Lord!!
Dec 5th, 2010
For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ: for it is the power of God unto salvation to every one that believeth; to the Jew first, and also to the Greek. Romans 1:16