Recently I've been pondering some of the dealings of God with myself and my wife. We want to know what it is that God is trying to teach us.
If God is trying to teach you something and you are not getting it, the season might remain painful for quite some time.
My wife has been learning some good lessons about the fact that her self-worth is not tied to the impact of the works she is doing. When you are raising small children and have medical challenges its not always possible to shake the world on the side.
She is also learning to trust God for grace rather than struggling to perform and change herself.
I am wondering what the Lord is trying to teach me.
Right now all my sources of income have dried up (time of writing is 13 May 2012).
Do I strive to make something happen in business, or to get employed, or do I ask God to work, rest and trust and live on diminishing savings and sell assets? Sometimes its hard to know.
One thing seems clear: God is committed to putting us through seasons in our lives when we are "squeezed" and it doesn't feel good. External pressure comes on to bring impurities to the surface. One such impurity is impatience, another could be complaining or doubting God's goodness.
I think those of us who feel a call to do some great work for God one day and who know we already have the gift to do it must realise that God is not so anxious to create a platform for us unless and until we have a mature Christian character with the fruit of the Holy Spirit even under pressure.
I can't produce these things myself. It is only by trusting in God, asking for grace, asking Him to change me, and faithfully doing the small things I have in my life that God can and will work the necessary qualities in my character.
Is anyone else going through similar things out there?