Sacrifice

Every human in some ways are attached to this material world. Nevertheless, it is in this society that we grow up as real believer of Christ. No one in isolation can learn and understand the true Gospel of God. But coming closer to our Lord always need some sacrifices; it may be in terms of abstract or material things. We cannot attain the completeness of joy until we learn to surrender ourselves in His merciful and mighty hands.

There is a chapter in my life which I would like to share. I am a very sensitive and emotional girl. In my life the most important thing after God was my family i.e. my father, mother, my brother and sisters. I could do anything for them. Their happiness meant more to me than my own. Sometime I would feel I had lost my own identity as an individual. Since my childhood I always felt that maybe someday we would be separated and this thought would sour my heart. I learned to accept my family as they were. But my perspective towards life was always different than theirs. I always wondered what will happen when in case God really takes me to the great mission He made me for. I never knew what was that, but I was sure that would mean a great sacrifice. I don’t know what is in me, but there is a thing which binds me with something I don’t know. I’m just playing my part. It is like I know a story which is still untold. My life may be in some way relating to some people’s life in this world. But who knows the intrinsic part of my creation except God.

In my childhood days like every other individual I loved to be with my family in spite of all other problems. My biggest weakness or say hidden strength to carry on in times of desperate circumstances was my mother. I really love her in whatever ways she is. For a moment I could forget others but not my mother. She had been like my best friend, she always considered me as a loved most among my siblings. Some things in my life hurted me for which I use to feel like a runaway child, but my mother binds me into family. What I loved most was the food prepared by my mother. I loved been given extra care like all of us do. I like when someone says to me, you should do this and not that etc. I don’t mind giving some authorities of my life to my loved ones.

Almighty God is the master planner. Sometimes we don’t know why we fall into serious situations that feel to crush our hopes and our hearts into billionth parts. There seems to be darkness everywhere without a tint of light. We cry out to God to take us out of this pit. We say, Why Lord it is been done only to me? Why have you forsaken me? Why are you so heartless etc etc? But remember this is the time when He is closest to you. Is it been done to you because He loves you and wants you to be a part of His kingdom. He had great plans for you.

My world came crushing down when my family turned against me at the time I was determined to follow Christ, leaving behind everything else. In hash my parents pulled a wall of separation between me and them. I was sent away from family. It hurted them, it hurted me too more than I could imagine. The day I was came away from home, I really didn’t knew whether I could return to my home or not. I was 19 years at that time. In Indian society you would not find a young unmarried middle class girl living alone. But it is with me. Since last two years I’m living alone. After been separated, I had my own responsibility to earn to survive, to think of my future and many things more. Well, in this struggle, I had known that Jesus Christ is for real, because I have known Him and felt Him as I can feel with my senses all other human. He was always with me but this time He was the closest. Now I’ve got a good job, I earn enough to have a comfortable living as well I’m studying with my own expenses. He never made me feel lonely because His arm was always around me. I didn’t struggle much to find a good and safe place to live in, a good job before completing my educational qualifications, He placed some good people around me who had taken care and helped me. He arranged and planned for me everything before I had could even think.

I know I had paid my price to have this, because in this I lost my place in my family. After I left my home I have not returned till now. It is already 2 years that I met my parents. I don’t receive much phone calls from them except that my mother calls me once or twice for a minute or two in a month. Sometimes I miss my home, I wish if someone would be at home to welcome me when I return from work, someone to share my feelings, I miss my mother’s home cooked foods, like all other family I won’t mind having small ups and down with my siblings etc. But in my loss is His gain, for in my weakness is His strength and I rejoice for I’ve found Him in the journey of my life as in Him alone is my life. No happiness of this world counts in front of that few moments I spent in His love. The tears for Him are more to me than the smiles for this world. I see my sacrifice so small in front of that great eternal gift I’ve received. I pray to my Lord that someday my family would know the Saviour of this world and be saved through His blood. They would know and feel the joy as I do. I’ll request you to give a minute of your time to pray for my family and me too.

Miracles always happen in the lives of believers. From a very young age I had been suffering from bonal and muscular pain, from poor eye sight, from stomach ailments, from skin infections and diseases, severe viral fevers etc. But since last two years I had not gone to doctors for these problems. It’s been immediately healed whenever I feel some pain and I call out to Jesus Christ. I have a strange problem that whenever I am to appear exams I fall sick, but glory to God that till date I’ve not missed a single exam and I always got good results. I see Christ working in my life and I glorify His Holy Name.

I had often cried silent tears. I use to say to Christ that no one is there for me. But now I’m glad that He is there to wipe away my every tears. I find condolence in His presence. I need not worry what will happen to me tomorrow because I know I will do what He desire form me and I also know that He will love and care for me as a bridegroom does for his bride.

What do YOU think?

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Comments

  1. Thank you for sharing about these deeply personal things Anurekha. I am sure God will honor you one day for standing with Him when it was not easy to do so. And more your whole family come to know the Savior also, especially your mother.

    It is good to hear that you have been enabled to not only survive but also to complete your education. I pray God will give you also a wonderful Christian husband at the right time.

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