New Christian in need of prayers

I have tryed to write this out 2 times now and once yesterday, but my computer is going beyond crazy and the devil is trying everything for me not to get this out in the open…Here is the quickest version I can do before my comptuers starts acting a fool again…..I have sinned in all aspects of sin,occult ,paranormal stuff, drugs and drinking,fornicating,lying and cheating,stealing…. And I think there is generational curse invovled as my kids are affected through dreams and actions same as I have been …I am in the middle of delivering myself from all this…. And things are messing with me…. As I go to bed by trying to hold me down to feeling like I am being pulled out of myself like my soul is being yanked out of me is the only way to describe the feeling….Also talking to me in dream state which gets me to the waking state and words seem to drift off as I awaken but I am aware of them as I wake up..I know they are trying to wear me down so my heads not right and I just give up with the Lord Jesus Christ…. But I made a Oath to God and Myself and I stand by this and will not wavier from Gods love ever again as I understand alot more then I ever have with all this!!!!!! And I understand this is a process but everyones prayers would be so helpful for me and my kids right now!!!!!!!!And anything helpful with people that have experienced much of the same would be awesome. Anything helpful I can do to help my kids would very awesome…..Thanks be to God and have a Blessed Day!!!!!

What do YOU think?

comments

Comments

  1. showaround says:

    Stay away from of gloomy ideas, just remember how you cleared out lawn pest and happy expression will show up! The writer is good, nice thoughts

    • out of darkness comes light says:

      Sometimes it takes me longer then others to see the big picture,lol… Thank you so much for reminding me what I’ve already learned…. The extra nudge of kindness and direction really helped.Bless you

      • Have you try just physically smiling (to yourself) even when you feel down? When you smile, its actually very hard to think bad thoughts 🙂

        Do you feel better?

        If you do, you can then say to yourself out loud that “I acknowledge that I feel better and like this feeling”. Then notice how you feel. Does your heart expand a little more? do you feel lighter? If so, acknowledge again out loud that you like this feeling.

        I hope this helps~

      • Or you could claim all that is yours in Christ! God really has done everything for you to be able to walk in freedom, love and peace in Christ. Just know that God doesn’t want you in bondage to evil spirits, and torment. You have the ability to walk in freedom in Christ, if you just receive the freedom, peace and joy He has for you. My advise would be either to seek someone to help you pray freedom from these things, or seek the Lord and ask Him to set you free from the bondage you struggling with and demonic assault by His mighty power. And when you pray, cast away unbelief and believe that what you have prayed for you will receive from Him. This article might be relevant to you, I’m finding it very relevant at the moment. http://www.articles.narrowisthepath.com/Article/Unbelief-Its-Curse-Its-Cause-Its-Cure/7139

        I would also study the Word to learn about what Christ has done for you and the freedom He has purchased for you (He’s set you free from the powers of darkness and delivered you into His Kingdom of light). You need the intervention and presence of the Living God and His love and power to release you from your current situation, as we all do. Ask Him and believe Him for it! 🙂 You can be free.

        May God bless your ways
        Daniel

        • Hi Daniel,

          Interesting comments 🙂 I have been a Christian all my life and I am coming to a cross-road.

          Do we really “need” God?

          Per your message above, do we really “need” the intervention and presence of the Living God and His love and power to release you from your current situation, as we all do.?

          I am able to be much more aware of my own thoughts and take myself out of miserable thoughts without praying to God or feeling the “need” for God’s help. I am not lying. It is precisely because I CAN do this that is the reason that is leading me to understand/question Christianity more.

          You see, if we all “need” God, where is the freewill in all this?

          I am at the stage where I really don’t “need” God because I take control of my life, I take responsibility of my choices I make and therefore, is not dependent on God. However, because I see how loving Jesus was, that he did not force us to believe him, instead choosing to love us and be patient with us and let us realize his great love on our own time that I “choose” to believe him. It is not out of a “need” but a choice.

          Although I choose to believe, there are still alot of things in the Bible I question. Some of the instructions like turn the other cheek doesn’t seem to be good advise.

          Anyways, just looking for insights.

          thanks

          • Timothy Luke says:

            In the flesh, turning the other cheek is not good advice. In the spirit, we obey out of faith and we see that the Lord takes care of us. It is AMAZING the level of peace we can have when we are willing to obey the Lord even when it means dying to self… which is the example He led for us to follow.

          • Thank you for the article and your comments. What you wrote here really lies in the essence of my question about self. Let me reflect on it. Thank you again.

          • Hi Timothy,

            I thought about your comment about dying to self and how others on this site said Jesus was dependent on God the Father etc etc…

            I dont’ agree that Jesus was dependent on God and I am not sure what dying to self means. Does it mean we should accept negative situations? If so, that I strong disagree. But if dying to self means obeying someone you respect and know he is good for you, then that’s ok. I just don’t think Jesus is weak or dependent in any sense like how we Christians are portraying ourselves to be, like some helpless being.

            When I examine the character of Jesus Christ, he was emotionally strong as an individual. Trust me, I can recognize insecure and needy people from a mile away and Jesus is anything BUT insecure.

            He was sure of his own purpose. He was kind. He was also confident and open and honest with his own feelings. Jesus cried multiple times in front of his disciples. Not a lot of people are man enough to show their emotions like that. I don’t know how to justify it, but Jesus passed my test.

            I really do think that Jesus was emotionally strong. He was not weak, DEPENDENT, out of control, confused, needy, angry. If anything, he was peaceful, loving, relaxed, patient (well all the characteristics of love) etc… all these feelings can ONLY come from someone who is sure of himself, NOT dependent and is secured of his own values.

            If you look to Jesus as an example, why do we conclude that we cannot be emotionally strong, just like him? that we should not be emotionally honest with our feelings? Jesus was strong and why should we not be?

            Maybe I am looking at it from a totally different angle than most people.

            Please enlighten me if you have any thoughts.

            thanks much

          • Timothy Luke says:

            Kiaa, some thoughts on "dependance". Take the angle of looking at it as a matter of "trust". What does the Bible tell us about "trusting", and "trust".

            That is a good word study to embark on in this discussion!

            Numerous times, the Bible says who to trust and who not to trust. In other words, who to depend upon, and who NOT to depend upon. We are not to trust in men, in men's strength, in wealth, etc. So you are correct in saying we are not to be dependant, needy people, in these situations.

            We ARE to trust in God. In all things, at all times. This means we are dependent upon God, from whom all good things flow. Let's face it… life is BIGGER THAN WE ARE. We need God, who alone is BIGGER THAN LIFE.

            Being dependent is not a crime. It is not weakness, unless we abase ourselves to depending on weak things…. The Bible tells us even strong people are weak things… We are created for God's good pleasure. He is our source of all good and perfect gifts. He is our strength, our refuge, our fortress and sanctuary. These all speak to our need to trust Him…. hence, they all speak of a Christian's dependence upon Him.

          • I really like this comment you put here,

            Being dependent is not a crime. It is not weakness, unless we abase ourselves to depending on weak things….

            This is real insight and is really helping me. Let me think about it more. I am so happy you replied! Don’t take me the wrong way but I like you and how you make me feel.

            thanks,
            Kiaa

          • Timothy Luke says:

            Kiaa, if there is any comfort or strength in the words, it is founded upon God's Word. The peace you sense is from Him to you! It is my pleasure to be a brother to you and servant to our Lord in sharing His Word for you. I receive your comment with the purity and sincerity in which it is given!

          • SkinnyRabbit says:

            Timothy Luke the Lord is using you well and is a joy to read your humble response. You must be very pleased that God is using you well!

            Bless!

          • SkinnyRabbit says:

            I too like this comment and the fact that Timothy is not taking the credit but indeed seeing himself as a servant of the Lord!
            Being dependent is definitely not a crime… pride is a crime and foolish as it stands in the way of growth!

            God wishes us to be dependent on Him because we are weak. He wishes to protect us from this world. There is nothing wrong with weakness, for through weakness comes the will to seek the truth and strength which we can find with our great Father!

            I am happy Timothy has helped you Kiaa, I am happy that the Lord is working through him to help others!

            Bless!

          • Kiaa, you need to be careful in these days. There is a deceiver that is trying to lead people astray from the truth and to rob you of a relationship with the Living God, the God of unsearchable love, who seeks a relationship of love with you. The bible even says that in the last days people will be headstrong, lovers of themselves, proud, having a form of godliness, but denying its power (2 Timothy 3:1-5). Even Jesus, the son of God, said He spoke nothing but what His Father spoke to Him. If that’s not a example of utter dependance on God, then I don’t know what is. At the moment, I feel like you need to seek God and His voice to speak to you, and to reveal to you your need for Him.

            Here are some quotes from the bible to clarify what will happen to those who rely and depend on their own strength.

            ‘Woe to those who go down to Egypt for help,
            And rely on horses,
            Who trust in chariots because they are many,
            And in horsemen because they are very strong,
            But who do not look to the Holy One of Israel,
            Nor seek the Lord!’ -Isaiah 31:1

            ‘The righteous also shall see and fear,
            And shall laugh at him, saying,
            “Here is the man who did not make God his strength,
            But trusted in the abundance of his riches,
            And strengthened himself in his wickedness.’ -Psalm 52:6-7

            ‘The word has gone out of My mouth in righteousness,
            And shall not return,
            That to Me every knee shall bow,
            Every tongue shall take an oath.
            He shall say,
            Surely in the Lord I have righteousness and strength.’ -Isaiah 45:23, 24

            ‘Cursed is the man who trusts in man,
            And makes flesh his strength,
            Whose heart departs from the Lord,
            For he shall be like a shrub in the desert’ -Jeremiah 17:5,6

            ‘Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord,
            And whose hope is the Lord.
            For he shall be like a tree planted by the waters’ -Jeremiah 17:7,8

            You see, you think you may not need God and can rely on your own strength and ability because, by the grace of God, you have not faced a storm or encounter that is beyond you. One day, when God returns to visit the earth, everyone who relies on their own strength instead of the of God’s will see their foolishness, and be destroyed :/

            I would say you should seek God sincerely to speak to you and reveal to you the answer to your questions. He will if you trust Him to 🙂

            I just thought of another example, you know when Jesus was walking on water and then called Peter to come on to the water with Him. Right, so then Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water to Jesus. Right, now His faith was enabling God’s power and strength to enable Him to walk on water. It wasn’t Peter’s strength or power, cause then we see that Peter looked at the waves and raging sea, and he started to sink, cause his faith in God was faltering, so this blocked God’s power. There’s a link between our faith and God’s power, but don’t confuse that for your power or strength. There’s a certain measure of ‘strength’ you will find in positive thinking and believing because that is how faith is designed. Ultimately it won’t profit you if you don’t have a relationship with God, and your own strength won’t save you.

          • Hi 3chelon,

            Thank you for the advice. I am trying to look out and hence the reaching out to see what is really the truth. I pray and talk to God and Jesus all the time. I pray he leads me out of temptation and I pray that His will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Anyways, praying was what really guided me to discovered my inner strength.

            I just don’t GET this ultra dependence on God. It goes against all my believes that makes up an emotionally heathy human being. I cannot believe a loving God would want us to be emotionally dependent and weak. That sounds more like a controlling freak or government. I am not saying I am God. I do understand that it would always be smart to have someone so great on your side, but why are we Christians portraying ourselves to be such dependents?

            It just doesn’t sound right to me when, in a father and son relationship, the son is ultra dependent on the father, where if anything goes wrong in the son’s life, its his father’s fault and the father HAVE to rescue the son. Why can’t the son takes responsibility for his own life? but carry out his father’s wishes?

            I don’t know. I really don’t expect anyone to understand me. I find that 99% of the people I meet, are insecure and they just don’t understand what I am saying. I am just searching… but I will reflect on what you said.

          • For this comment from you:
            Even Jesus, the son of God, said He spoke nothing but what His Father spoke to Him. If that’s not a example of utter dependance on God, then I don’t know what is.

            I actually don’t see this as dependance on God. I see it as obedience, perhaps. You see, I don’t need to depend on God but I choose to follow him and obey him. As far as I can see the rules, they were, love your God and love your neighbours.

            I really am learning to love God. I love him and therefore, I wish that His will be done on earth as it is in heaven. However, I want to be strong, and take responsibility for my own life and not be a burden on God. I want to interact with him but not like a child.

            I think this might be enough for today. thanks.

          • I can understand your sentiment in a way. It sounds like a desire to grow up and stand on your own two feet, as a grown up child would one day not depend on parents to sustain it.

            But, what would you make of this statement by Jesus:

             

            Mat 18:3   "Assuredly, I say to you, unless you are converted and become as little children, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven."

             

            We are CHILDREN of GOD, if we are born of the Spirit. We will always be small compared to Almighty God. It is God's desire that we relate to Him as children.

          • schmitage says:

            Yesterday, while raking leaves.. I was getting stressed out. Then God spoke..and I started to get giddy like a child. I spent time with my Father and it turned out be very glorious and a wonderful testimony.. I pray this blesses you – http://serious-things.com/raking-leaves-with-God

            love ya,

            joseph

          • SkinnyRabbit says:

            A HEALTHY relationship be it with God or man should be based on WANT not NEED.
            I believe that one should try their best and not rely so easily on the Lord to be an answer to everything.

            I’ve witnessed people believe that God should answer to everything, but that almost takes any responsibility off the person to do things for themselves. If God knows us better than anyone else which He does, than He will know what we can and cannot do, when we’ve tried our best and when we have not and when we really need him and when we are strong and wise enough to go it alone.
            We all need God in our lives, but we should WANT to NEED Him!

            Thankyou!

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