I am not new to this site…just a stranger to it. I let the worst things get the best of me.
I am 21 years old. Two years ago I was in a place that was just not what God wanted for me. I used to go out a lot and I distanced myself considerably from my family and all the right people. I did drugs and I drank quite heavily. To say the least I was not taking care of my temple.
I was going about my daily habits one day while my family was away on vacation and suddenly I felt like my vision was flashing on and off of whatever I was looking at. I don’t know if it was a bad “trip”. I went to the hospital that very day when I got out my so called friends were nowhere to be found and I was left alone to walk home. I had no money in my pocket or at home for a cab and no one to turn to.
Since then things have not been the same. I had been in and out of the hospital for rapid heartbeat. Today the doctor treats it with medication.
Its not a serious thing the doctor says but I just feel so afraid all the time. I feel afraid to be alone.
I have a daughter now and I’m constantly worrying that I will not be able to raise her. I feel this constant fear ALL THE TIME!!! No matter what it is. Even if I am having a good day where things are running smoothly I cant help but wonder what will make it go wrong.
Also during the past two years since that incident I noticed (while still living at my mom’s house) several shadows at night flying overhead. I would be asleep and suddenly there were shadows there flying and they would start to circle the ceiling and as they made their way to where I was laying in bed they would disappear. Several dreams also seemed very realistic where I would wake up and I was lingering above the ceiling or the ceiling was open to me and a bright light ahead of me. However one of the times that this happened I woke up in this dream like state of mind in my dream and I walked to my bathroom where as I looked into my eyes I noticed that something was in there and they turned completely white. These experiences seemed rather real.
I want to live life according to the way GOD intended it to be. I don’t want to be controlled by this FEAR or this sickness. I believe that both are very related. After reading about spirits and curses. I think i may have some. Please I ask for your prayers. And please help me get on track. Show me how to keep faithful. Please I need guidance.