Need advice on relationship

I need advice on what to do about my relationship. I became friends with a lady about two years ago and later felt convinced to propose to her. I check my motives and believed that I had no selfish motives for proposing. I didn’t propose because she is beauty, wealthy or intelligent. I just felt she is the one because after praying one morning I had an impression on my mind that she might be your wife. Interestingly we had a serious fight the day before I proposed. I proposed to her but she said she was not ready for a relationship. We remained friends, and later got very close. Eventually we had to break up because she was still not ready for a relationship. Last year we met again and she said she was ready. We then started a relationship. Unfortunately we got intimate and feel into sin on several occasions. Sometimes I feel like breaking it off because of sin and on some occasion during those time when I was reading the bible, I perceived she is still the one for me. I am confused now because I wonder whether it is possible for our coming together to be God’s will and we still fall into sin. Is it possible to be led by God into a relationship and one would fall into sin in the relationship? I don’t know whether it is okay to still continue this relationship, sometimes I feel it is God’s will but I didn’t wait patiently for his timing while sometimes I feel it is not his will at all because of sin we fell into. I need advice on what to do now. We have stopped sinning completely and we have both repented and gone back to God. Another thing is that I don’t like the way she plays with her former boy friend and the fact that she still remains good friend with him. And also don’t like the fact that she does not take church seriously, she believes the most important thing is to have a strong personal relationship with God. These two factors in the present makes me to wonder whether this is God’s will. Please I need advice.

What do YOU think?

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  1. Hmmmm just had a similar conversation with my boyfriend and he was just convinced that am the woman for his life…..anyway your narration is totally different from my story…but whatever is from God should not cause you to sin…..wait upon the lord and he will grant you all the desires of your heart.His timing is the best.

  2. faithishearing says:

    To be honest,
    It doesn’t seem like either of you are ready for marriage, at least based on this post alone.
    That could mean one of two things. Maybe God is using this as a time of growth for both of you, or maybe she isn’t ‘the one’ for you.
    I think you already know this, because I can sense your unease in this post. If you have an uneasy feeling, do not ignore it.

    “I don’t like the way she plays with her former boy friend and the fact that she still remains good friend with him. And also don’t like the fact that she does not take church seriously, she believes the most important thing is to have a strong personal relationship with God.”

    If you think she is being too friendly with her ex, then you should tell her about it. If she gets angry and continues her behavior without regard to your feelings, that is a clear sign that she probably isn’t that serious about you, and it is time to move on. Also, you both should be on the same page with church attendance or anything else you would consider ‘major’, since the bible tells us not to be unequally yoked. A strong personal relationship with God is important, so can you see the evidence of this relationship in her life? Does that relationship inspire you to be closer to God?

    Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed. Proverbs 15:22
    And if you seriously want to marry her, have you talked to your parents about it, do they think she is a good match? Have you consulted your pastor with her? If you fell into sin with her before, have you set boundaries to makes sure that it doesn’t happen again? Are you accountable to somebody?

    I would advise you to seek counsel. Talk with an older, spiritual mature Christian friend, and talk about her. And talk with your pastor. It is a good idea to pray with them for God to show you His will.

    Peace and Blessings.

  3. warrior daughter says:

    Another thing is that I don’t like the way she plays with her former boy friend and the fact that she still remains good friend with him. And also don’t like the fact that she does not take church seriously, she believes the most important thing is to have a strong personal relationship with God. These two factors in the present makes me to wonder whether this is God’s will. Please I need advice.

     

    Does she know that these things bother you???If she does she is using somebody to irritate somebody….Could be you or could be ex-boyfriend…Concerning taking church seriously, is she going to church to make you happy & could/would stay far away from church if not for the relationship with you??…

    Do not be unequally yoked …Put a little distance in your relationship & see what happens.  Just because you have slept together does not mean that you are suppose to be married…Are your goals & her goals on the same page???  Don’t rush into something that may cause you pain & suffering…Remember God’s timing is not our timing & He only wants for you to have His best…

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