My struggle with life

I wanted to take the chance to tell you my testimony. I grew in a christian home, my mom was raised in the LCMS Lutheran church and my dad didnt really become a christian until he married my mom. We went to church and we talked about god. So i dont really have an interesting testimony until about Freshman year of High School, I am a Junior now and my life has changed so much. Lets start in the summer of 2008 before i became a Freshman, During that summer i went to Cornerstone Festival with my youth group and i learned how to pray and i felt so close to god, but when i got back i got into pornography, i mean it was really bad, like every night. then my dad found out and i stopped. So When the school year started i was having a good year until September 21, 2008. On that day my life changed drastically. I was mowing my yard and i think you can figure it out, I wanted to go to youth group and i wanted to hurry up and finish and the grass ejector got jammed and the mower was a pain in the butt to turn on and so i reached down and the blade nipped my middle finger tip and cut the rest of them. I was rushed to the emergency room and now i have 2 new nails and i am missing my middle finger tip. After that happened i became depressed. Then my youth pastor said we wanted to mentor me and we did that for a while and i felt kinda better but i still wanted to kill myself, One night i actually thought about it in my room, i am glad i didnt do it, I felt like god was punishing me and that this is what i deserve for getting into porn. Then During the Super Bowl 2009 when the Steelers won. We had small groups during half time and the band was playing “You never let go” by Matt Redman, and in the group we were talking about accidents that had happened to us and it got to me and i started crying before i could say something, So i was telling what happened to me while i was crying. When i finished i felt like the world was lifted from my shoulders and i felt like i wasnt in the hole i was in anymore, After that night i felt so close to Christ, I have to admit that i have had my up and downs and i have felt like i was so far from christ, but i am feeling so close to him, i am still fighting the battle with pornography and it is really hard to resist. God put me on this earth to do great things and he put you on this earth to do great things and i cant wait to see where he leads me in my life and the things i do. I have a life to live and i will be able to add to my testimony, God loves you, he got me through my depression and he can get you through your problems. Remember You never let go by matt redman, it helped me to realize that once god gets his hand around me he never lets go. i pray that you reading my testimony realize that God WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU OR FORSAKE YOU, out of the bad things that happen in your life, Good things will happen you just have to be patient.

What do YOU think?



  1. arkavinash says:

    Thank you for sharing your testimony. Im going through some problems too and i believe God will fix it soon. Thank for sharing what God did to you and giving hope for the hopeless… 🙂

  2. bornagainbytheblood says:

    I’ll be praying for your deliverance. Advice: In order to walk with Jesus, you have to walk away from the ways of the world; you’re in the world, but not of the world; that means we must separate.

    1 John 2
    [15] Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him.
    [16] For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.
    [17] And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever.

  3. Timothy Luke says:

    You haven't seen the end of it yet, either… the best is yet to come! God's plans are so totally worth the fight!

    • Freak4Jesus15 says:

      thank you timothy, i had a tough phase in my life and i cant wait for what god does with me

      • God has never promised us a lovely time of ease and relaxation, instead Jesus did say ‘in the world you will have big trouble, but cheer up, I have overcome the world’.

        By following Jesus example, and example that he proved could be done “he was tempted like we are but yet was without sin”, we too must be overcomer’s and not give in to temptation.

        I am sorry that you endured so much, but I am happy that you came through it alive, I hope that you will have the stamina to continue, but remember that the promise of Jesus to not leave us was based upon us firstly obeying the command to preach and teach (Therefore go and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all things, whatever I commanded you. And, behold, I am with you all the days until the end of the world. Amen. Mat 28:19-20).

        Since the day when I begun The Way (as it was first called) I have met persecution, trouble, hardship, but like Paul I am happy to say that all that is nothing compared to what reward I shall get for finishing this marathon. I have had both happy times and hardship, fellowship and persecution, love and hatred, fitness and injury, but yet Father still choses to use me, and I still chose to overcome. When I get to the finishing post Father will be there, and all the problems, fights, hatred and injuries will fade to nothingness as I see into Father’s face, and he says “well done good and faithful servant, enter into my joy!”

        I would advise you to be a faithful witness, a obedient servant, and a overcomer of wickedness.

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