Life after divorce

How do you see what is biblically required of a divorcee?

God says we are one flesh and only by the death of one are we released from this. All sins are forgiven by God, excepting the one against the Holy Spirit, but in a broad sense divorce (although not a sin in itself but abhorred by our Lord) seems to be another. Or I should say to divorce and to marry again, this leads to the sin- adultery.
Is there no forgiveness, ever, for those who remarry until the death of one (original) partner and then repentance?
How come ministers don’t preach and advise against this? Am I missing something?

The question for me here is how are we to go on after divorce and stay in God’s grace?
Your comments will be much appreciated.

I just want to add that we have a blessed site here with God filled/led brothers and sisters and we are very fortunate to know that the best advise is always given!
God bless you.

Jesus loves you!

What do YOU think?

comments

Comments

  1. I am 81 and she is 78 we are both divorsed from our spouses by several years. I have prostate cancer for several years,she is ok with that,so, we are not sexual,we do not sleep together,but we live together. We have been told by peers that if we do not marry we will go to hell.

  2. Hi Beska,

    This is a difficult subject as Michael pointed out.

    I have studied this subject having been the victim of a hard-hearted wife recently. Going only by scripture I could not see any support for remarriage after divorce. Many say they “believe” God accepts the new marriage, but they never have any scripture to support it. I guess its just evidence of our easy divorce/remarriage trends in our society.

    You asked:
    Is there no forgiveness, ever, for those who remarry until the death of one (original) partner and then repentance?

    Answer: God loves us even though in the physical we do things wrong. King David committed adultery and murder and God still continued loving him. King David was punished though which had long lasting consequences.

    How come ministers don’t preach and advise against this? Am I missing something?

    Answer: Many ministers follow society’s trends instead of God’s word. I guess they also are fearful of losing membership if they go against society’s trends held by church members. Perhaps this is similar to 2Tim4:3 where God says that there will be many who follow teachers to satisfy their itching ears.

    The question for me here is how are we to go on after divorce and stay in God’s grace?

    Answer: Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and you will be in God’s grace. We are saved by grace, not works

    • Thanks haz for your comments and your interest.
      Funny that, I had been thinking of King David as well.
      I appreciate all your (Michael, Chris & haz) comments.
      Be Blessed

  3. “This is an important and difficult question, and one which I have read a lot about, and am still not totally clear on.”

    When one is not clear about a subject maybe one shouldn’t offer advise.

    The scriptures are clear, only death dissolves a marriage (Romans 7 & 1 Cor 7).

    Any other practice is a clear sin: sex before marriage is fornication; sex after marriage with anyone other than your ALIVE first spouse is adultery.

    God is NOT going to lead anyone to break his commandments, even to say such is astounding in itself! The ones who portray a god who is soft towards our feelings but not true towards his commandments have lost their way.

    As we only have the scriptures to guide us in regard to God’s law it is incredulous that anyone would dare to say that these scriptures ‘may not hold water’ in God’s eyes!

    As for fornication and adultery know one thing, both of these acts of continued wickedness, will lead to loss of salvation (it is stated in scripture as such – Heb 6, Heb 10 and Rev 21) and for anyone who thinks that God will act differently to those who claim christianity be warned that God does not have any favourites, his law is his law. He will not bend or break it for anyone!

    “However, God’s solid foundation still stands. It has this inscription on it: “The Lord knows those who belong to him,” and “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord must turn away from evil.” In a large house there are not only utensils made of gold and silver, but also those made of wood and clay. Some are for special use, while others are for ordinary use. Therefore, if anyone stops associating with these people, he will become a special utensil, set apart for the owner’s use, prepared for every good work.

    Is there life after divorce? Yes, but it doesn’t include marriage, until that time comes that your first spouse has died. Is there forgiveness for divorce? Yes, but the consequences remain, just like they do for many other sins. If I murder but then repent do I still need to go to prison? Yes. The surrendering of myself to the police will be an act of repentance. If I am divorced and am forgiven, the act of repentance would be to follow God’s law and not remarry.

    When I found anyone living in a second marriage after divorce whilst the first spouse is still living and the subject has come up, I am reminded about many scriptures which can be summed up in “Flee all evil desires and all things that have the appearance of evil” and “Sexual immorality (adultery, fornication, lesbianism & homosexuality) is proof of the anger of God” and since we are not meant to be under his wrath, we therefore should not participate in those practices.

  4. Thanks very much for your comments, Michael.
    ‘bornagainbytheblood’ has also contacted me for which I am also most grateful and that is why it is so important to belong to a site such as this.

    Initially I had written with more detail but summarised it down to this and although it does not give the whole story, the answers remain the same because you have covered the guilt of both parties.

    I felt it necessary to write this so that others in the same situation as I could read and understand the significance of our actions.

    God bless you all.

  5. Hi Beska,

    This is an important and difficult question, and one which I have read a lot about, and am still not totally clear on. There are powerful Scriptural arguments that can be made that someone who is divorced should NOT remarry while their former spouse lives.

    There is also a possibility that the prohibition on remarriage applies strictly speaking only to cases where divorce was initiated IN ORDER to marry someone else. So a Christian man who doesn't like his wife much anymore, fancies another presumably prettier woman, and then divorces the wife of his youth so he can legally marry the new desired spouse – if he does so – in fact is simply living in an adulterous relationship – notwithstanding the legal documents that terminate the former marriage and create the new one.

    This touches on the thorny issues of what true repentance means in certain cases. Do we just say "Sorry" to God – I won't do it like that again, but hold onto what we obtained wrongfully, and talk about the grace of God, or does true repentance involve forsaking the new relationship? It seemed that it did for Kathryn Kuhlman, who married a man who divorced his wife so he could marry Kathryn. Kathryn had no peace with God until she separated from Waltrip, the man she loved so much.

    Of course, if the strict interpretation of divorce and remarriage issues such as held by the Mennonites is the correct one, then a large section of the charismatic and pentecostal church will be going to hell for aiding an abetting, if not actually participating in the sin of adultery.

    From a pastoral perspective I lean towards the softer approach that God is condemning the practice of ditching a spouse IN ORDER to marry someone else. It MAY WELL be possible that a divorced person, especially one who was NOT unfaithful in marriage, may be led by God into a new marriage relationship blessed and sanctioned by God. I personally believe and hope this to be the case, though I'm glad it isn't something I've had to wrestle with in my own case.

    It may even be possible that God could give a second chance to a guilty spouse to remarry later on as long as it wasn't to the woman for whose sake he initially was unfaithful to his wife.

    In any case, with marriage, true Christians are bondservants of Jesus Christ and we give account to the LORD for our decisions. It is HE who must lead us into any marriage relationship. If not, we should stay away.

    I know its incredibly painful for people who have been wrongfully divorced by ungodly partners and as I said I tend to believe that God's blanket prohibitions against remarriage are not directed towards such people, although it IS POSSIBLE to make an argument from Scripture that even thse people should not remarry. Whether such arguments hold water in God's eyes is something else entirely.

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