Jezebel at work

The spirit of Jezebel destroyed my life.I became a christian at the age of 20,I am 45 now.I lived in joy,I heard him speak to me almost daily and was in His presence daily.I was living in His light,Living and walking in His Spirit daily.Life was great!!On top of that i was in ministry,youth pastor,assistant pastor and i started a ministry called fellowship families for young adults.
Well everything went wrong,a woman came to our church who was a lesbian and seduced my wife well at first my wife and i kicked her out or tried too.We were bombarded by being to harsh and critical and not loving.I talked to my pastor about the problem and he said i should allow my wife to disciple her.
Well my wife fell prey to that spirit that was in that woman and she fell out of love with me and fell in love with her,I know, its terrible.Then my pastor said i could not have a pulpit ministry anymore,wow.I was broken hearted and depressed,I then got sick and found out i had cancer,I lost the battle to save my kidney.
I could not sense Gods presence,I sought and sought the Lord,but i could not shake the oppression and the depression i was in.It was hell on earth,I mean hell!!!I then got ill with cronic pancreatitus,The dr’s said i will have that for the rest of my life,grrrr.I was getting seriously angry at God.
I began making wrong choices.Thinking they were good choices.I was living in the dark not wanting to but grabbing at anything to bring joy back to my life to no avail.Nothing worked I married another woman 2 months later we split up and got divorced,wow,I was a complete failure,my kids hated me.
I was angry at God but i still trusted He would make things right in my life.All this time everyone I thought was my friends seemed to shun me.I didnt get 1 phone call or visit from my pastor or the deacons from my church i served under not one.It was hell !!!I mean if you are not living in the light you are in darkness.To have God smile upon you for 12 years and then no more smiles or warmth,and no peace.Food had no taste,i wanted to die everyday,death seemed to be the only relief for me,but I could not do that to God,or my family.Well i lived like that for 11 years now.
I am happy to say that God had restored me about a month ago.I am in His marvelous light at last.I have joy and have no pain anymore,I see his hand on my life and giving me purpose again.I have joy reading His word again,I cannot wait until church services Sundays are not enough for me.I am in school for ministry again and God is giving me a vision for evangelism and a ministry for deliverance.Praise be to God!!!

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