My God Experience
“I am not ashamed of the gospel. Because the gospel is the power
of the God who brings the all believers including the Jews and
the Greek salvation . ( Roma 1. 16”
What I proof is the matter of responsibility. The given should not be hidden but let him work or serve. The joy should
be teached because I myself was forgiven.
My name is Minoru . In 1989 I was twenty seven years old n Japan .
I had an experience of opened my eyes to my sins and despair.
It was extreme despair like neither I could not live nor die. It
was not inner punishument of myself , it was by ” the God rage ”
which was outside of me.
I thought that I was forsaken from the God because of my sin
and experienced the tortures of hell. Icoud’nt move myself as I
want, my soul was lost, I experienced “living death “.
About one month later, one day, hopes have risen, I climb up an
elevation called Tensho-dai, then I sit on the ground and prayed
for the God . The only my wish was ” Please let me return to
Then, I cried loudly regretting myself. Until then I had never
cried loudly like that time. I cried and begged forgiveness of
the God.At that time , I was like fighting with my backs to
the wall .
Sitting on the hill, I could see a playground and playing kids.
It seemed that they would able to hear me, but they seemed not
to notice my presense. They didn’t notice my presence at all
thought from me , it semmed that my voice could be heard . I
happened to think that the God’ felling would be like that.
However , at that time , I even didin’t think that my voice would
heard by the God.
I was sitting in Japanese fashion, praying with my hands
together. I was crying and in the state of total selfless. Then,
I could think, I beleived that the “truth” was in my hand.
I had been letting my hands together and believing that the
truth would be between my hands. After about one hour, finally I
opened my face and convinced ” This is the truth “.
“The truth” doesn’t have any color or shape or smell. It is
not material, but it can be seized. If I say using Buddhism’s
term, it may be “Spiritsual awakening “. And then I went down the
hill, I had been recovered, full of power and the conscience of
my sin had disappeared.
Since then, I have not been able to forget the experience. I was
groping for the way to understand the experience.
Kierkegaard’s ” The Sickness Unto Death ” and Doctor Kitamori’s ” The
Theology of The God’s Pain ” whose lecture I happened to listen
to both gave me the answer .
The understanding was that, If I use Christian terms, Jesus’s ”
justice and faith ” and my ” sin ” had been gratefully exchanged.
Jesus Christ died shouldering my sins. Also, I had been
transferred from ” death ” to life ” because of Jesu’s
At that time, I entered the God’s kingdom. When I cried begging
for returning to living human, the gate of heaven had opened.
I understood the meaning of Atonement of the Jesus Christ through
great sufferings. My sin is mine because I am a sinner, so my
experience of surffering may be different from the suffering Christ
, but I partly understood Jesus suffering . On top of that, I
saw that my presence has been known to the God . The person who
knows that his or her presence is known to the God is not
My only hope to return to ” living human ” was served, I could
obtain all things after I had lost everything. But I now understa
nd that not only ” body ” bad olso ” soul ” don’t belong to us
, so we are not free to use these .
Only what I obtain was ” the truth ” or ” the soul of the truth
” or the Spirit “.
We are borrowing our ” body ” and ” soul “. when the time comes,
I know I have to return these. However, I wish to bring ” the
soul of the ” truth ” and ” the Spirit ” with me .
My description has been long, so what I think is that people’s
faith is respectively different. I don’t mean that my experience
My wish is that this proof are read by as many people as
possible, and that the people feel ” something ” after reading this
proof. I beleive that the ” truth ” is between everyone’s hands
are together .
Jesus said that any people who doesn’t follow me with his or
her own cross doesn’t deserve me ( Maththaios 10. 38 ). For me, the
cross is the experience of forgiveness of the sins written above.