I am in need of help. I feel as though I am in hell right now, I am in constant terror.
I have never imagined that anyone could feel terror this severe.
My situation is that I am in severe family, financial, medical and psychiatric distress.
I am in a state of semi hysterical agitation, I cannot sleep, I have no money for food, I feel abandoned by God.
I have been praying for months and things are only getting worse. I am actually in terror of what each new day will bring.
I have approached churches that have outreach ministries, and have been turned away because of my psychiatric status, even though my psych problems are of a non delusional type.
I have only had the major hysterical episodes recently.
I suffer from post traumatic stress disorder as a result of being abused in hospitals since I was 12.
I have been in many psychiatric hospitals due to mood disorders, that is where the abuse occured.
I had been assaulted several years ago at my local hospitals emergency room, by hospital staff and local police.
I was involuntarily held there again last week, and even though everyone knows my history, the hospital staff and police were again verbally abusive and on several occasions medically neglectful, which re traumatized me.
I do not feel safe going to any hospital now
I do have a legal guardian, although many health care professionals have stated that they do not feel as though I need one.
The probate court is aware of my situation, I have also contacted numerous social services agencies, no one is willing to do anything to assist, which staggers my mind.
I cannot handle this stress any more sand feel as though I may be cursed somehow, at least for the fact that I cannot feel gods presence.. All I feel is fear and evil, and total abandonement.
I feel like I do not even want to be alive anymore, now that I know what real terror is.
I would like some spiritual support with this.