I’m at the end of myself….

I’m at a complete end…I’m not sure where to go with this. This is probably gossip, but I have no choice, I need help.


I work at a Christian camp focused primarily on inner city youth from a local city. Every summer we bring around 200 kids to enjoy a free week of camp in which we present the Gospel to them and try to establish relationships with them. This fall we’re starting a discipleship program that is the reason for my being on staff. This is mainly an attempt to take the relationship even further and sort of ensure that they begin to grow in Christ.


Here’s the problem…spiritually speaking, our staff is dead and bone dry. Everyone here is theologically educated and so learning anything more is impossible. We’ve discussed things about Satanic attacks, miracles, and really anything the least bit miraculous or supernatural and they always bring up some theological term and either explain how/why it doesn’t happen. The only person on staff that is at least open to these things is out with a broken ankle, femur, and jaw after a tree landed on him. However, after a few weeks of the Spirit telling me to lay hands on him and so doing, he is still unchanged and without faith to believe. So far, unbelief, religion, and pride are among the list of problems, but it gets even more complicated.


Many of you are in ministry or have been before, and so you know all about community, unity, accountability, and the importance of practicing them. We have none of this. The biggest thing is accountability. I was told today by a couple of the other staff that I am accountable to them, as I’m under them, but they are not accountable to anyone, save themselves. I have no problem with this, except that much of my responsibilities revolve around what they do or don’t get accomplished.


Concerning unity and community, we are a staff of 5 with an intern and so it shouldn’t be too difficult. I’m surprised at how there could even possibly be cliques with such a small number, but there is. With this, there is a lack of communication and for the most part, I’m left out of the loop. Concerning doctrine, “Can two walk together, lest they be agreed?”


Spiritually, well Jim, the guy who was in the accident, is almost completely out
of the picture, our Executive Director is out of the picture by board
decision, and many problems are continuing to arise as things break or
fail. Everything from the events, themselves, to their sequence, to the progression of damage, even down to the timing of each event screams SATANIC ATTACK! and REPENT! Even with all this, no one else sees anything wrong, but of course
they’ve been taught not to. I’ve brought it up and I was given
the response, “That’s how things are at camp…” and so I just have to
deal with it.


The real kicker is that I get to lead Bible studies for the leadership kids this summer, however, I’ve got to run everything by them first, because they’re not sure of my beliefs and therefore what I’d teach. This means that I can’t teach anything that even borders “Pentecostalism”.As it concerns casting out devils, healing the sick, etc. I’m going to have to go around everyone and just do it.


This leads me to the biggest problem of all: How do you lead a Pharisee to be filled with the Holy Spirit? How do I do things in the proper order while at the same time, still doing them? Lastly, what do I do when those that are above me are living a superficial “Christian” life?

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