I need help

I am a 26 year old living in my Dad’s house as I left my ex of 4 years and moved back in here until I get on my feet.

My dad is an HIV + homosexual who is also an apparent alcoholic. Tonight I had to call 911 because he was too drunk to get into the house from the SUV. Him and his partner were in the driveway both covered in vomit yelling at each other. if that isn’t humiliating I don’t know what is.

I don’t know how else to express the pain I’m feeling. My Dad is a shell of the man he once was when he was married to my Mom. I cry everyday. My heart is completely broken. I’ve been suicidal for most of this month. I’m numb. People ask me “what’s wrong” “are you ok” all the time. I feel like the walking dead because I’m just.so.sad. I just want to go to sleep and never wake.

At one time I went to church 6 days a week, as of right now I haven’t been in years. I often question if God exists because my life has been nothing but heartache and pain. I’m considering moving back North where I’m from. My mother lives in Ohio with her 5th husband. I thought of going to Indiana to be around friends who I know genuinely love me. I don’t have anyone here other than my Dad.

is my post making sense? I’m so sad I can’t think straight. I’ve cried so hard tonight my head hurts. I just want my Dad to be healed, I want my mother to be nice to me and love me, I want to be able to function and feel happy and normal for once in my life. Is God there? Does he ever hear me? the more I pray the more things get worse it seems. My Dad is dying before my eyes and it’s killing me inside. I don’t even know what to do.

What do YOU think?

comments

Comments

  1. davidchik says:

    It may be helpful to find a counselor near where you live:
    http://www.aacc.net/
    http://counseling4christians.com/
    Pray God will prepare someone who has gone thru the same pain and now able to chat with you and dad.
    Also please read the biography of Yuan:
    http://www.christopheryuan.com/
    Jesus loves you. Jesus loves your dad. Jesus loves your mum. Amen.

  2. naminji12 says:

    im suffering from many problems,. physical and emotional,. im so depressed and i dont know what to do.

    • Timothy Luke says:

      Emy, You have come to the right place. Find your peace and solace in God's Word. Now is the time to have your Bible and make it your comfort and your home. Jesus came to heal the broken hearted. He came to set the captives free and preach liberty to them that are bruised. Find your strength in him.  Take each spare moment to read the Word and talk to God as you do. You will find strength, and peace and joy for the journey!  Pray for others in need and look to help where you can.

       

      Tim

  3. Precious One,
    I am so sorry for all the pain you are suffering. God is not the cause of this,but He will use times like this to move us toward Him.Before making any decisions based purely on emotions,I would advise deep prayer.Not : Oh God please help me!!!( I have done that often enough) I’m talking,get alone,somewhere you will have a bit of privacy,and shut out the noise of the world.Have your Bible,and maybe some worship music.Now,relax.Be still. Tell the Lord that you want to fellowship with Him.Open your Bible,ask the Lord to speak to you.Invite the Holy Spirit to illuminate your mind to the Scripture.God says He will NEVER leave us,or forsake us.Believe that! Practice feeling the presence of the Lord.If you have any unforgiveness towards anyone,let it go,confess it and give it to God.Have faith,it’s recognizing that God’s power is greater than ANY problem we face.And nothing is impossible for Him.God loves you,and He is faithful to respond when we believe His promises!!! Read Mark 11:22-25.
    (Romans 15:13) Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
    Beloved

  4. I just want to tell you that I am praying for you.
    Don’t give up. God is there and He will deliver you.

    May the God of mercy surrounds you with His Peace!

  5. Hey just wanted to let you know praying for you … the armies of the Living God have gone out to assist you and your family. You will be delivered. God will work on your behalf.

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