My Beloved Breath of GOD
I love you so much because you are the breath of GOD Genesis 2:7 “the LORD God formed the man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being” finally your breath goes back to the one who gave it to you Ecclesiastes 12:7 “and the dust returns to the ground it came from, and the spirit returns to God who gave it”. No matter who you are? know to me or not, Irrespective of if you are my friend or not or may be a stranger I say that I love you.
Even though I was aware of this since 1990’s as I found salvation in HIM I was not able to see through HIS eyes but with lust and fornication, but not any more.
As Psalm 30:9 says “”What will you gain if I die, if I sink into the grave? Can my dust praise you? Can it tell of your faithfulness? What good can I be to any one if I go into the world of the dead? Can I love you from there? Can I help you from there, can I care about you from there, can I comfort you from there, can I forgive you from there, can I warn you from there or can I hold you in my arms from there???????
No I cant, neither you, do what you can do when you are alive here. It is much better for you to undo what you have just did it out of your selfish motives while you are here than regretting on your death bed that you could have been a much better person than being bitter to many.
Is there any good reason why I shouldn’t love you, worth of a soul is much more than the body which goes back to ground where it came from which is the final resting place and the breath for GOD goes back to the one who gave it means, you are HIS breath Ecclesiastes 12:7 says it and only if I feel and see through the eyes of the LORD I will be able to love you without lust and having intention of fornication in my mind about you, and glad that I am set free by HIS unfailing love which HE lavished upon me as I was willfully committed sin knowing fully well how I continued to do what I shouldn’t do and never had the courage to resist then, but yet HE was merciful and patently waiting and watching all my disgusting act and never punishing me as I deserve, but extend my life to be a living testimony among many means, what is it for anyone if HE has kept me live to share how I was and is now for HIS glory and to make aware about the wolf among the sheep’s as I once was a ”wolf covered with sheep skin” Matthew 7:15 “Be on the watch for false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inside they are cruel wolves” as I say the way I was, and it is not likewise now by HIS love.
What transformed me? Keeping me alive as I see others fall dead in Kilinochchi due to the war and those innocents who were taken forcefully by rebels had only crumble my self on my knees and asked GOD why not take my life and keep the innocent as I know fully well that I don’t deserve to be alive for all what I did knowing HIM fully well, taking HIS grace for granted preaching and practicing perverseness.
I pledge my self to heaven if HE ever keep me alive and if I live to testify all what I saw and heard from Kilinochchi the unmerciful act of terrorism causing terror among our people, and HE keeps me alive as I have shared among many how I was and is now only to tell the truth and make aware of reality so you may not have to go through what I went through due to my ignorance and hardening of my heart shunning my conscious to obey HIS HOLY SPIRIT.
Now that HE has brought me back into my promised land which HE has promised me during 1995 as I was reading HIS word when I was in Trichy India, and I have also written in a note book which I have with me still, mentioning “GOD’s plans for me about Sri Lanka” “Quote :- which is in Bible from the book of Isaiah last five chapters and as I felt and wrote this then, I was taken up by regret for knowing HIM as my LORD and personal savior, I never ever dreamt in my wildest dream that I will end up in Kilinochchi to earn my living since 2005 August, as all my family members were elsewhere living out of Sri Lanka and finding myself ending up in the war torn town of Kilinochchi.
The reason why I gave up occasional smoking and consumption of alcohol for the past one and a half years is my daughter. As I saw my father passed away due to shrinking of the brain due to heavy usage of alcohol and smoking a thought strike me like lightning awaking my fears that sooner or later that I too may end up like my father bedridden and my daughter have to wash my shame. You can view from my album “Just as I am” how I was and is now after giving up on alcoholic beverages.
I was unable to give up speaking in slang and filth which controlled my tong by slandering anyone furiously and fearlessly in my anger.
Not so long, but few weeks back as I went to the Church in Kilinochchi, the Church which was located in Iranamadu, the Pastor then and now is Dilon Rathna who gave protection and a place to stay for my wife and myself during the force recruitment which took place in Kilinochchi since 2006 August, as my wife was also a victim who was caught by them and have manage to escaped their clutches, finally came to me and if not for Pastor Dilon she would have been on the streets caught by them again.
Two years and eight months later, on a Sunday morning as I went to the same Church but now located in three different place having three services ministered by Pastor Dilon and it was a communion Sunday and as I knelt before to take the body and the blood of JESUS I become very emotional as I held HIS body which is the bread in the palm of my hand I felt very sad and ashamed to take it into my mouth as I have never stopped speaking in filth and yet I was taking communion since 1990’s without having any remorse for speaking filth as and when required and how HE has saved me from the savage of war, blessing me with a family which I never had before and brought me back to the same Church to worship HIM and I asked HIM to cleanse me completely from using filth and abusive words among people which comes out of my mouth through which I pray, praise and preach and I begged HIM to cleanse me as I take HIS body and drink HIS blood and from that day till my death I know that I will never utter filth in my anger any more.
Though I came across incident so badly to provoke my anger some how I felt that I was no more in control of myself as I usually take full control of such incident and control the opponent but I realize that I was silent and tackled in a manner I haven’t done before.
As I started to write, I was not aware that I will be writing all what is said above and beneath. Words just started coming out of my heart and I was impulse to pour out that if you may also going through a similar behavioral patterns as mine even after having and accepting JESUS as your LORD and savior, trust me, you need to give your self more trusting HIM that definitely you will also see the change that you cannot see in you life now. Plead with HIM for a change, ask HIM to take away what HE disapprove of you which you desired to have what ever it may be.
Prepare your self and do not taken up by surprise or ask GOD why me when you face such situation, pray not for a life free of suffering and injustice, as many who know the LORD JESUS have been killed, killed due to war, raped, mobbed and was humiliated for professing HIS love and life with HIM for eternal. Ask HIM more, more of His love to love those who persecute you because those who do haven’t heard of HIM and gave themselves to HIM to transform into HIS likeness asking for repentance from their sins
Are you prepared to get killed like Stephen for speaking what was prompted by HIS HOLY SPIRIT as the LORD stood and welcomed Stephens’s spirit as he was stoned to death by the Jews.
Acts 7 :- 54 Now when they heard these things they were enraged, and they ground their teeth at him. 55But he, full of the Holy Spirit, gazed into heaven and saw the glory of God, and Jesus standing at the right hand of God. 56And he said, “Behold, I see the heavens opened, and the Son of Man standing at the right hand of God.” 57But they cried out with a loud voice and stopped their ears and rushed together[a] at him. 58Then they cast him out of the city and stoned him. And the witnesses laid down their garments at the feet of a young man named Saul. 59And as they were stoning Stephen, he called out, “Lord Jesus, receive my spirit.” 60And falling to his knees he cried out with a loud voice, “Lord, do not hold this sin against them.” And when he had said this, he fell asleep.
[For all those who know me and loved me :- I love you so much because you loved me just as I am with all my sin and shame and accepted me into you life just as I am and nothing will ever stop me from loving you, will always love you just as you are no matter who you are.]
To know more about your body, soul and spirit :- http://www.christian-faith.com/forjesus/spirit-soul-and-body-tripartite-nature-man