hey hello hi…

I’m an artist, I paint, and draw. I have a fiance.

I have schizophrenia. When I got the disease I had thought I knew’ God, but found myself without armour. So, bruised, I crawl my way to church, and the Word. This is how I found the site, on christianforums.com, I was talking with others plotting my way to church, and understanding of the Bible. I look back now, and see from second one I decided to be obedient, I started arming myself.

Pray for me?

I just don’t know what to put here..

In art, I find so much, I would doodle, and just loved it, my fiance who has read the Bible, perhaps saw it wise for me to paint in that, I would doodle, in such emotional times, and the doodles would come out better and better. I’am often quiet, but do have things to say when in conversations Ive been in, they ask me to talk but when they look at me, well, it does not seem that many want to hear what I want to say, anyway, I think when God revealed to me my artistic voice, it was like he was saying, yes talk with me, you get to talk to though. I did not even see that till I chose to write in this area of the forum, lol! YAY

I think this site is great.

I just want to read the Word, it’s hard sometimes in that I do misunderstand often, so I really have to be careful. I studyed astrology for like five years, and desired a relashonship with God, turning to people I usually hated (things seemed so ‘cheesy’ then). I came across a sappy looking video someone made, I apologize they looked sappy, and there was a scripture, saying God had stitched us in the womb (when I stitched you in the womb). This was the feeling I had been looking for when I started studying it, all those years, and I had studied SO carefully into astrology, found in someones love for Him. Jeese, I was not looking in the right place. I feel like crying finding faith in him again, because it is so renewed, and clean.

I also found’, in the Bible, Paul, I seem to walk to an oreacle and then to the next one consistantly, if there is one oreacle or prophet in town at a bus stop, I have just, they are always there, they’re in front of me, and Paul said yes those who just say they are Christians are blessed, they will be given to the prophets and oreacals. This pattern in my life started, when I would argue with my friends in high school, I just looked bitter to them, but to me, I could see they were lieing to me. That was a tough journey, lol, and I look to be obedient now.
I’am seeing what is meant by speaking in the Spirit now.

Afraid astrology was demonic, I looked up what the Bible said, it said astrologers will be exhausted, period. Or did I read that passage, and tempt my way there? Shoot. Yes I do need help.

I was raised going to a large church, I was babtized when I was younger than seven in front of about two thousand people. I loved the Bible stories, Jacob, David and Golith, wise Abraham, the coat of many colors, oooohhh yes I loved the stories, memerized them. I thought then if this many people are following Him, and prospering in Him, there has got to be something here. But I rebeled, and have the scars to prove it. I just do not feel like going into the whole story of this without, seeing God clearly, so I will wait for that. Thank You for listening for a bit. That is a bit about me.

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