Head vs Heart

Do you have intimacy issues? What I’m referring to here is, do you feel difficult to give your heart to anyone, to trust anyone, and to feel much at all? Many of us suffer from intimacy issues but don’t realise it. We are not able to feel the emotions of things very much and may even be removed from the actual emotions itself.

There are many reasons why this is so. It could be that we are afraid of being disappointed, we did not have the role modelling of significant others in our lives to show us how to get attach with our emotions, our brain protects us by shutting down in those aspects so we are able to cope with traumatic experiences. The list goes on but you get the idea. It’s a consequence of the imperfect world we live in.

So what happens when we can’t get to the heart issues, we use the left side of our brain more and the right side reduces (the part that makes us creative and gives us emotions). So we encounter God using more of the left brain than the right. We dwell more on the theology of God, the rationale, the logic… so the outcome is we think this: What’s not logical is not possible. What’s not logical is not right.

Rationale is good. Afterall, God made the left brain too for a reason… so we can reason :). But, when our right brain is deficient in functioning, then it will affect our judgment about things, and this includes our judgment about God and about the world we live in.

What I’m trying to say here is, if our experience of God only exist in the left brain (analytical based only), then we are not experiencing God in the whole entirety. We are missing out on the essence of life – to experience relationships to the fullest, with our Creator, with the significant people in our lives and with others. That’s the whole purpose of why God created us – to have an intimate relationship with us.

I have my own deficiencies in the right brain due to my own upbringing, and I have to remind myself each day to be still in the presence of my Father and to connect with Him in a relational way, not a head way. I need also to remind myself to connect with my kids and husband in a relational way, and not removed of emotions. Over the years (I gave my life to Christ since I was 8), I have accummulated knowledge of God, but the rubber only hit the road when I experience Him with my emotions in 1999.

I am writing this because there may be others out there who are struggling to maintain their passion for God. Passion involves emotions. If we only know of God, then it is difficult to be passionate about God and is would be difficult to live passionately for Christ. Our motivation comes knowing our Father intimately, in a relational way, from our Heart.

What do YOU think?



  1. barbie49701 says:

    What relational ways can you explain more? Should be ask for deliverence from all the past things we have suffered to be set free from the bondages that hold us to lack of trust or lack of belief?

  2. Whew you two speak sooo fast or maybe I’m just reading too fast, or maybe something else, haha, so I will have to study to understand what you are all saying.

    What I will like to say is this to share Him with others, especially those that love Him, brings me into His very presence. When He chastises me I know there is good reason for it. I cannot but accept that all His dealings with me are done in fairness and for my own good. I do not question Him when I have gone through hard times, and there has been plenty of that.
    I look at Him and see this glorious, awesome God that loves me so much (and an unconditional love at that) and I cannot but accept Him as He is, my Father, my King and my Saviour. Yes there are times that I feel as if my head is resting on His shoulder like John, and other times when I am all alone and He has left me for whatever reason.
    Maybe this is what you are saying here.
    But I know, I know He has not ‘left’ me for long, He has never in the past, why would He now! I choose to believe it because He said so.
    I also believe it is times like these when He is building my character in Him. I don’t try to understand how or why I love Him, I just love Him and I pray that soon I will love Him with all that I am as is expected of me.
    Does this make sense? Head or heart I don’t know!

  3. Yes, Timothy, agree with what you say. The proper co-ordination or functioning of both the head and heart is vital in our relationship with God. Thanks for putting things in perspective for other readers. I guess I am emphasizing the heart because that’s the area that needs checking for me. On the other hand, someone who is more right brain, might need more left brain… 🙂 to balance their overall perspective of God.

    • so true aye, its a matter that affects a lot of people on great issues on whether to follow the head or the heart.great stuff

  4. Timothy Luke says:

    Interesting and good topic, yet again!

    In an earlier post, I pointed out the logical flow of relationship with God. Namely, first, we must understand the nature of the relationship…. God is God and we are His subjects. This is why we call Him "Lord." God is our Ruler. He has complete and absolute authority and the right to judge us as He alone chooses. Yes… I am using my head to come to these conclusions. David said, "against you and you only have I sinned (imagine saying that after you slept with a man's wife and murdered him to cover up) and done this evil in your sight." Psalm 51.

    Yes, God is a relational God. Thankfully, He is a God of mercy and compassion and forgiveness of sin, or we would have no chance! "if you should mark iniquity, who could stand, but with you is forgiveness, that you may be feared." Psalms, again.

    If I ignore the fact that I love Him because He first loved me, or if I ignore the above facts, it will impact my relationship with God. If my head is not set and rooted on the reality of who God is and how I am to love him…. ie, "if you love me, keep my commandments," and "why call you me, Lord, Lord, and do not the things that I say?," then my heart may have passion, but it is passionate about a vision and a dream that is not God. It leads me to a place where it may be said, "this people draws near with their lips, but their heart is far from me!"

    It may also lead to the final words we hear from our Lord, saying, "depart from me you workers of iniquity (lawlessness) I never knew you," even though many will come in that day saying, "Lord, Lord…."

    All this is to point out that it is not a question of "Head VS. Heart" as much as it is "How do I coordinate my head and my heart? for I am to worship Him with ALL of BOTH and with all my strength as well."

    We use our head to read and understand the perameters the Word of God places on the relationship. We find the definition God places on the relationship. We read about His likes and dislikes, and we make them our own. We conform to His image of what a good son or daughter looks like, rather than making Him conform to our image of what a good God looks like. 

    Having used our heads to research and know these things from the Word of God, we then find our heart flowing in love with God as He is. How would you like to fall head over heels in love with a person, and they with you,  and after the wedding night, they say, "you are not the person I thought you were!"? Then they walk out because they were chasing a fantasy and you weren't it….

    Having used our heads, and opened our hearts to love God, based upon who He is and what He likes and dislikes, we find our bodies energized in service to the One who is Love. We now have the foundation to keep the first and great commandment…. "You shall love the Lord with all your heart, with all your mind and with all your soul and all your strength." We then love God, by loving our neighbors, friend and foe alike, as much and more than we love ourselves.

    I write these things because I have seen friends who are "PASSIONATE about God!" and yet they wander off following emotions. With no head for God, they left him when the "passion" died, or followed the passion after the enemy redirected it. Our heart must be anchored and directed by our head, but not suffocated by it.

    "I am the Vine, you are the branches, abide in me and I in you, so shall you bear much fruit." Let's abide in His Word and rejoice in His presence with a pure heart.

    Sister, I am adding points to your topic, I am not accusing you of having deficiency in these areas, but am putting a context here for others that follow. 🙂


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