Let me begin by saying that we serve an incredible God, his love for us is priceless and unfailing. I struggled with my faith in God for quite a long time, but I am pleased to say that “I was blind but now I see (spiritual blindness)”. For many years I did things my own way and I didn’t know Jesus until he found me a few months ago.
About two years ago, I wanted to change so I started going to church but It didn’t work. I tried but something was pulling me in the opposite direction but I continued to pray that God would change and purify me. He heard my prayers and he blessed me with a wonderful christian friend. She helped and supported me in my walk with Jesus, then I started growing spiritually and I could feel the transormation that was taking place within me.
But even though I finally had a relationship with him, it was still not enough for God, he wanted my all but I couldn’t give it to him. I trusted him but not enough to trust him with my life, so I held back. I was too scared to surrender my whole life to him, I am the kind of person who likes being in control and surrendering meant giving God total control of my whole life and I was not ready to do that.
Then, suddenly my whole life started falling apart, my relationship with my fiance was in trouble, my friends drifted away, things were going wrong in my studies and I couldn’t find a job. There was no-one I could turn to for help, and I couldn’t make sense of it all. I didn’t have anything/anyone to hold on to, everything in my life was going so wrong. I asked God to just take my life because It was better than what I was going through. Then He stretched his hand out to me and that is when I realised that ‘HE IS ALL THAT I NEED’.
That realisation changed my life, I never would have got through it all without him. He is the one I held on to in my darkest hour and he got me through. My relationship with my fiance is being restored, I received a letter from the University telling me that they are allowing me to resit the exam I missed. I am still seeking for employment and I know God is preparing the right one for me and I will continue to wait on him patiently. I have also changed personally, I am better than I was before and most importantly I have given God total control of my life, Its all in his hands. I am currently on a 40 day fruit and vegetable fast seeking God’s face and his will for my life. I pray that he will continue to transform and mold me into the woman he created me to be so I may gloriy him in every way of my being. Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus (1:6, Philipians)