Have you ever felt this way?

I’ve been in a new relationship with my current boyfriend for a little less than two months. Everything started off wonderfully, but we gave into temptation and committed what feels like an unforgivable act. Since then I am struggling to forgive myself, and feeling like this has sabotaged my relationship. My boyfriend seems to be having a hard time forgiving himself, he has become very closed off and is communicating with me less and less. I know we’ve done a terrible thing, and we’ve sworn off any physical intimacy beyond hand holding and the occasional hug, but it feels like there may not be much of a future for us. I know that my redeemer lives and that he will forgive me no matter what, but I feel like I will live with this guilt for the rest of my life. Is there any hope for my boyfriend and I? Has anyone been in this incredibly hard position? Are we doomed? I need a little guidance, as I’m not quite sure where else to turn. This is something I have been struggling with for over a month, I ask Jesus to help me be mindful of what I’ve done and have the strength to resist any further temptation, and with his help so far we have stayed pure to our commitments. Please pray for me, that my boyfriend and I will be able to make it out of this difficult situation and that there may be hope for us to continue on, with the Lord as our rock of course.

What do YOU think?



  1. Redbuck40 says:

    Your innocence is now lost and you can never go back, do not expect to. That wonder that happens to so many believing couples on their wedding night can never be yours, you have to accept that.

    Have you ever lied? Cheated? Done something to hurt another? Yes?

    But you still consider this your worst sin?

    “…but the person who sins sexually sins against his own body.” The other sins you did to hurt another.

    Have you asked for forgiveness? From God? From each other? Did Father forgive you? Did the boyfriend? You him?

    You want a clean conscience after forgiveness ask Father. Do you want to forget that it ever happened? You can’t. But you can use the memory to your advantage. Use it to show far you could have fallen, just like Paul “I persecuted the Church!”, and use it to never fall that way again.

    As for the relationship, you are one with that boy, it should continue. You are not married before God, but you are one flesh with him before God.

    In 1 Corinthians it states: You know that the person who unites himself with a prostitute becomes one body with her, don’t you? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh.”

    The relationship hasn’t ended, nor should it begin, but it can continue.

    Ignore the advice of ‘Beloved’. Listen to one who has been there, maybe not as far as you went, but too far none the less. I married the girl, and have been married for over 16 years. We can’t have children, but have 2 dogs, which are our children. We still look back and regret the decision we made, even though we both were virgins for our wedding day. It still pains me from time to time, but I have chosen to go forward, I use it to my advantage, I will not go down that road again.

    Our intimacy did not fall off but we never did that again. We still held hands, hugged and kissed, but we had a barrier, our memories, and our desire to not go down that path again.

    Remember, no matter how bad you feel, there is someone who has been tempted but overcome, you want to know how to overcome this pain and betrayal? Talk to one who knows and understands, The Lord Jesus. A normal human like myself and the others who have commented only know in part, but Jesus knows it all, and what is more he saw you do it.

    Get over this and get on.


  2. Sometimes, sex so early in a relationship,is what the relationship is built on.
    If you take away the sex,the relationship can crumble.Now, all things are possible with God,but don’t try and force the relationship just because you were intimate. He may not be the one.

    • I agree with you. I am in a relationship with a guy with whom I am not sexually compatible with. However, I feel that he loves me and to some degree I love him too. There is another guy that I feel sexually attracted to, but i don’t know him very well, and from the things that I know he is a liar. How can I get this sexual thoughts about the liar out of my head? Could you please help me. I have a guitly consience because I know that i have feelings for my boyfriend.
      Thank you so much

      • Redbuck40 says:

        Sexually compatible, and how do you know?

      • I hope it didn’t seem as though I was excusing sex before the covenant of marriage.How do you know you are not “sexually compatible” Are you having sex with your boyfriend? If so, my advise would be to stop that,and do not engage in sexual sin anymore!!! For any relationship to be built on a firm foundation,requires not” testing the waters”sexually,so to speak. That would only create a False sense of intimacy!! You need to get to know someone,build a genuine friendship. One that includes our Lord ( do not be unequally yoked).
        I don’t believe in sexual compatibility. When you are truly in love with someone,not only do you take the time to build a friendship but then you make a life time commitment.You’re sexual intimacy is gratifying when each person is more interested in how they can please their mate,than what they can get. True love gives,it doesn’t take.
        TRUE Love will also always wait.
        If you need to talk,or ask any questions,you can always send me a private message ๐Ÿ™‚
        Your Sister in Christ,

  3. Timothy Luke says:

    God can restore ALL things. God forgives ALL sin. If you both are seeking Him with ALL your heart, you will find Him! It is not about us forgiving ourselves, as much as it is confessing our sins and receiving the forgiveness HE has for us… for ALL have sinned and ALL need a Savior… who did you think you were anyway? to think you didn't need to be saved from something? ๐Ÿ™‚


    "If we confess our sin, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sin and cleanse us from ALL unrighteousness." 1 John 1:9

  4. When my boyfriend and I were still at school we waited over a year before we gave in to sin. We felt were going to get married anyway so it’s ok. However small sin grows and gets bigger and deeper in the hearts and mind of all us if it goes unchecked and can lead to some pretty bad situations.
    For example I got pregnate. My boyfrined and I were scared.I was too young to have the baby ruin my life ( so I thought ) so I had an abortion. This divided me and my boyfriend for a while. When we got back together we got pregnate again less than a year after the abortion. I want to make a commitment to my boyfriend this time because I was not going through the pain of another abortion. He didnt want to marry me. I was crushed. We stayed together for the babys sake and five years later we got married. Our marriage was a sham,I wasnt in love with him anymore I married him just for show. He married me for convience. The marrige was a rocky one at best and after five years we split and are in the midst of divorce.
    Sex before marriage consumed the fire we could have had for each other in a proper marriage. It lied to us making us believe we loved each other but we only loved how we made each other feel in the heat of the moment. God is speaking to both of you by convicting your hearts to turn back to Him. That’s a good thing, something I wish I had. Hopefully it will prevent you and your boyfriend from making the same mistakes my boyfrined and I did. God Bless

    • Redbuck40 says:

      Sex doesn’t make a marriage, and lack of it doesn’t end it.

      So your life is such:

      1. Sex before married (fornication) which led to pregnancy then to murder
      2. Second session of sex before marriage again pregnancy
      3. Compounded the sin by living together in fornication
      4. Thinking it made everything right by being married
      5. Marriage ends in divorce (which God hates)


      I suppose now you both think you can remarry? Wrong! For Jesus taught…”anyone who divorces and remarries is committing adultery”, and we all know where adulterers will end up.

      Divorce is ripping apart what has been joined together, and although it is not the unforgivable sin, it is a sin none the less.

      Therefore repent, and serve God with fear and trembling.

  5. I was engaged to a woman I fell hard with because we had sex and as I began to pray God showed me in his word he cant bless sin.Revelation 21:8 has caused many to realize that God isnt joking.Theres a big debate abount masturbation,haveing sex before marriage,sexual toys andso on but this one scripture says it all.See whwn we fullfill the the passions and the lust of the flesh we have turned over our will and mind over to demonic powers.Sense you fell it will be almost impossible to not fall again and again and than you will notice that the fire of the Holy Spirit will get weaker and weaker.I knew a woman that first felt it was wrong to be gay but after commiting sin over and over again she is now a full blown gay person that hates God and she hates christians.The convition you feel is a strong warning from God that you have gone to far,go and seek out your pastor and take his advice.So many young couples fall than they say its ok because we going to get married but than it seems like all hell broke loose over their lives because now the hand of God is lifted up just a little bit because these people are wanting what the flesh wants instead of God so the enemy comes in like a thief in the night and every person is badly broken because they didnt take heed to the voice of God.So please humble your self and seek Godly wisdom from your pastor right away.I which I would have taken this advice because my life was destroyed because I loved sex more than God and it almost destroyed me as a person till I humbled myself and cried out to God.

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