My personal testimony and God’s deliverance

I will continue to update this thread with testimonies I have not yet shared and new praise reports.

This is kind of long and detailed! And my apologies for any typos or poor grammar.

It’s amazing after you come to the Lord and look back on weird, unexplainable things that have happened before knowing the Lord, you now can see where those things actually come from. There have been moments in my life where demons have tormented me and I had no idea demons even existed. I haven’t shared a couple of these things with anyone so I will be sharing them for the first time with you all. Back in my childhood when I was around 9 or 10 years old, my great-grandma started taking my sister and me to church. That was the first exposure to Christianity I had really experienced (I only remember one other time in my life where I went to church with a neighbor but I was really young then and don’t remember much about it). I can say that I always had a belief in God. I didn’t know who He was at the time, but He very much gave me grace even then to know He was real. Everything I learned in my Sunday School classes about Jesus and the amazing miracles He did, I never once questioned. I believed everything and still did even through middle school/high school/college (although, I had stopped going to church after some time after I was 13 or 14 and had never really gone regularly with my great-grandma). Anyway, back to my 9 or 10 year old self…one day, after church and learning from my teacher that we should ask Jesus into our heart, I did just that. I said a little prayer to Him and asked Him to come into my heart (praise God. I hadn’t known Him but He knew me and loved me and knew I would be His.). Well, something started happening after that prayer. At the time, I didn’t know what was going on, I wondered what was wrong with me for thinking these thoughts, but I know now that these were evil spirits planting these thoughts in my head because they knew God was with me. I won’t give the exact sentence but it involved a very bad curse word and was directed towards our precious Savior). They would repeatedly enter my head and I didn’t know how to step them. Every time the thought would enter my head, I would tell God “I’m so sorry, God. I don’t mean it”. And I didn’t! I couldn’t control these repeated thoughts. Deep inside I knew they weren’t from me because I respected God and knew He loved me. These thoughts had tormented me all the way up to my early college years. That’s a long time. Although, I was able to control them more as I got older, praise God. And I never meant it when it entered my head, I had absolutely no idea these were demons. I felt so guilty every time this would occur and I would continue to apologize to God. There were also 2 or 3 moments in my life where I would wake up from a feeling of real terror, doom, and dread and I would see images of evil in my head. Again, I hadn’t know really known that evil actually existed on that level so I didn’t know this was again, evil spirits tormenting me. I do remember after the last time I had one of those dreams over 5 years ago, a question entered my mind if I would be going to hell if I died, since I know those dreams were of some evil presence, and if I was having dreams of the presence of evil, that couldn’t happen to someone going to heaven. It’s interesting looking back now, having no knowledge of the supernatural, yet still having some kind of awareness of something.

Fastforward some years later…it was 2006 that God was starting to draw me to Himself. I still hadn’t yet read the Bible, was still in sin, still didn’t really KNOW God, and was ignorant towards the Bible (and didn’t believe it was written by God). So it would be a long way before I would repent. But He was working in me and placed me in living quarters with other Christians in the on-campus apartments (it’s so amazing to look back at all those little signs that show me He was there, working in my life and me being just totally oblivious, lol). One thing I like to look back on is during a course of mine (language and speech communication) where we had to write a paper about what we wanted to be doing in 10 years. I remember writing, although not in these exact words, that I desired to have a right relationship with God and felt like I was disappointing Him at that point in time of my life (I was specifically thinking about those thoughts that Satan had been planting in my head but I didn’t mention that in my paper). I wrote that my desire for the future was to be reading the Bible, marrying a Christian husband, and going to church. Keep in mind that I wasn’t yet a Christian and still didn’t really know God, although I think I must have started believing the Bible was the Word of God, otherwise I wouldn’t have had the desire to read it. But it’s just totally awesome. The Bible says God works in us to will and do of HIS good pleasure and boy, was He already doing that with me!! And 2 of those things have come to pass! I have read my Bible multiple times and am continuing to read it daily and am going to church right now…not a building anymore because the one I was going to didn’t really get into the meat of the Word nor did much to build my faith (but I will always love the people there!). Now I have a church family (my prayer group on SKYPE) who I am able to fellowship with daily, pray with and for, and I have never felt more accepted and loved than I do now in my life. Praise be to God. And I’ve also been blessed by a brother named David Eells who has some amazing Bible Studies on his site that have taught me more of the Word in one single audio study than I ever learned at church. God has given each of us the responsibility to seek out our own salvation with fear and trembling and I have outgrown the teachings at my church from absorbing the teachings on brother David’s site. God is bringing me out of religion and the traditions of men into His pure unleavened bread of the Word. The Lord and I have a deal going on that if I ever believe in a teaching that is false, He would give me the truth. And He has been very faithful in this. I desire truth.

Now I’m waiting for the Lord to bring me a godly husband, and I’ll have fulfilled all my desires in my paper!

To kinda fast-forward a bit, in July of ’08, I finally told the Lord, “I can’t do it anymore, God. Help me” after a bout of depression and that’s what really started my faith walk with the Lord. I finally started reading the Word and God delivered me from a lot of bondage (that I’ll specifically share later), although I still hadn’t completely surrendered my life to God. That happened in June of ’09 when the Lord gave me a chastening (I sprained my ankle on a day at the zoo and know for sure that was by His hand. The Bible says He chastens and disciplines those He loves and He did that for me. I knew it was Him, (although not at the moment it happened obviously)before ever having read those verses.). It was 3 days later, after spending all my time on the couch off my ankle and watching tv shows endlessly that the Lord was heavily convicting me. Guilt was heavily on my conscience and I knew that I needed to be spending time with God and reading the Bible (at that time, I hadn’t yet read anything past the 4 Gospels). So I went online to look for a Christian site, or rather the Lord was leading me online, and He lead me to Christian-Faith, and it has been a huge blessing for me. The site, it’s members, and blogs were what convicted me and lead me to repentance. One person’s blog in particular finally lifted that veil from my eyes and I suddenly understood the significance and magnitude of Jesus dying on the cross for me and it was at that point that I knew it was time for me to deny myself and sacrifice my idols for Him. He delivered me from the idolatry of my addiction to tv shows (both on dvd and regular tv) and my favorite music group. God’s power is amazing. Those are things I never would’ve been able to give up on my own but His power was made perfect in my weakness. I made the decision to give up watching tv for good, took that first step (after tears of sorrow from my flesh) of skipping the show I had been excited for weeks to watch, and He completely delivered me from the temptation to watch tv, watch movies, or listen to secular music. I have been tv-free since June! Of course, it’s impossible to get away from those things completely when family still has them on. But I don’t willfully turn them on and try to do other things when my family has them on. PRAISE THE LORD. Now He’s given me desires to focus on Him. He has become my hobby. I have hours of pleasure just spending time with Him in His Word, bible studies, talking to Him, and fellowshipping with believers!

He’s also delivered me from spirits of anxiety/fear/insecurity/self-doubt/low confidence/etc. I grew up a very shy, insecure, hyper-sensitive person. I didn’t know what I could offer anyone, felt inferior to everyone around me, and had fear in just about every area of my life from communicating with others, looking for a job, driving, etc. This deliverance didn’t happen overnight. It was a journey for me. Strongholds were broken every month. I am now free from those spirits (still have some strongholds when it comes to driving though but God is working with me) and He has given me confidence (God confidence, not self-confidence. I have no self-confidence and I can now boldy say that I am GLAD I have no self-confidence because God confidence is way better and far more powerful) and boldness. I’m still a quiet person but I think that’s just part of who I am. And there are moments where anxieties or self-consciousness will creep in me but now I have the power to cast those thoughts down in the name of Jesus. Praise be to God.

Jesus is our Savior in all things whether it be deliverance, healings, or provision. And He is a faithful God. He’s done some wonderful things in my life that are only by His works, not my own. It’s only by His grace that I’m where I’m at today. Praise the Lord.

Btw, yes, God delivered me from those thoughts that tormented me for years. 🙂 Praise the Lord.

What do YOU think?

comments

Comments

  1. 2bapartofsomething says:

    Sara,
    Beautiful testimony and thank you for opening up and sharing. Don’t forget to post testimonies on the new Forum Boards, too so that others can be blessed by your witnessing. Keep contributing-you’re adding to and increasing people’s lives.
    God Bless you.

    • Thank you, 2bapartofsomething! May I ask you what your name is? (Nevermind, I just looked at your profile and see that your name is Michele. Nice to meet you, Michele!)

      I will definitely be updating the new forum with new testimonies on this journey with Christ. 🙂

  2. I’m so happy I got to read your story. Especially having prayed together with you online. You are a great person, Sara. We really like you.

    • Thank you so much, Michael for your kind words. I greatly appreciate them and am so blessed the Lord has brought me here to your site and to have met you and my other brothers and sisters around the world on SKYPE. God bless you, Michael! Thanks again for your comments!

  3. Friday night, before going to bed, I prayed to God, asking Him to help me be more humble, submissive, and for this flesh to be crucified (I had been walking in it there for a couple weeks). Well, the Lord is faithful and He answered my prayer the very next day, and it was far beyond what I ever expected.

    “Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial among you, which cometh upon you to prove you, as though a strange thing happened unto you: but insomuch as ye are partakers of Christ’s sufferings, rejoice; that at the revelation of his glory also ye may rejoice with exceeding joy. “ – 1 Peter 4:12-13

    I received the answer to my prayer the next day at work where God used a vessel of dishonor to come against my flesh. The vessel of dishonor is one of the family member’s of whom I work for. She is the mother and one of those people that is very difficult and doesn’t really try to be nice to people. I’ve seen some and heard some of my co-workers be frustrated with her and yesterday was the first time I had experience that frustration. She normally doesn’t come in to work on a Saturday (if she does, it’s for a very short time). But on this Saturday she was there the entire day (God very much had this planned). Well, to sum up the situations that arose, I basically couldn’t get anything right that day. Not necessarily because I was doing something wrong, but because it wasn’t right in her eyes. Basically, no matter what I did, it was wrong. And she would let me know it. This was the first time ever in my life that I recall someone just blatantly be outright mean to me, who talked to me like I was dumb and was very rude in her demeanor. She very much made me feel low and incapable. The first couple of times that she was rude to me, I felt those defensive spirits, those spirits of anger, those spirits of judgmentalness rise up within me. That sin nature that God came to completely rid us of. And I knew, as a child of God, that I was no longer in bondage to my sin nature and had all authority and right to cast down those spirits in the mighty name of Jesus. And so I did. I rebuked them right away, many times. Satan tried to plant angry thoughts in my head and I would have none of it. I kept rebuking all of those spirits and the Lord was faithful.

    It’s a natural thing for humans to defend ourselves when others are coming against us. For the majority of people, their reaction is to accept those spirits that tempt them to lash out, defend, or judge and have no ability or discernment to know those are evil spirits. It takes Jesus Christ to say “NO” to those spirits. I praise my God for His grace. He knew those spirits were going to come to the surface and He wanted to rid me of them and I was very much being tried. Would I give into them or would I cast them down. I chose the latter and was He ever faithful. Instead of accepting any anger, I confessed and repeated over and over that I forgave this woman and that I loved her.

    So she came at me again and again and I just kept repeating these things to myself and casting down every imagination (and spirits) that exalt itself against the knowledge of God. Finally, after one of my last trials, after she said she didn’t like something, I said, “okay, and I moved the thing she wanted me to move”. And I tell you, after that moment, I started to feel the peace and Spirit of God come upon me. I very much knew my spirit was being renewed while that wood, hay, and stubble, that flesh was being burned.

    The entire day she came at me, I didn’t try to defend myself. I took the abuse by the grace of God and remained kind towards her. I can tell you that my flesh was hating every moment of this. My flesh was screaming, “I can’t take anymore of this”. But I knew what God was doing. He made me very aware of the prayer from the night before. I knew I was going through a trial. God knows EXACTLY what we need to perfect us. And He knew it took a very difficult person to do it. I take no credit for this because it is only by GOD’S grace but He knows that I try my best to cooperate with Him during my trials and He’s done a very quick work in me these past few months that may take years for others. Again, I give no credit to myself, this is to glorify Jesus Christ our Savior Who can do all things for us. I’m VERY thankful for the grace He has given me. I’ve learned the more we walk in what He gives us, the more grace He gives us. He gave me so much grace on Saturday to go through what I went through. I needed it. The old me would have been very near tears and probably crying my eyes out as soon as I got home, probably being tormented for a few days every time I thought back on it. Well, I am God’s child now, praise the LORD. I walked away HUMBLED from that experience. It taught me a VERY valuable lesson as a Christian. Don’t try to defend yourself, don’t fight back. Even if you are being unfairly treated, humble yourself, don’t defend yourself. God will be there to defend you and bring you out of whatever trial you are in. He is faithful. As believers, we are representing Jesus Christ and His kingdom. When others see how we live our lives (if we are truly submitting to God’s Word), they will know something is different about us. I want people to see Jesus Christ living in me, not Sara living in me. Had I defended myself that day, I would put myself in a very bad position. Not only would I have gone against God’s Word, but I could have lost my job, been on her bad side, etc. I truly believe my humbleness and meekness to her spoke MUCH more boldly than me defending myself or getting angry. There was one moment where I walked in her office to ask her a couple questions about a mailing list she had me type up for her. After she had answered my questions, for the first time, she looked up at me, and with direct eye contact, said “thank you”. It wasn’t a super nice “thank you” or anything but it was said in a tone that it hard for me to describe. The particular eye contact with the tone of her voice (at least from what I believe) just spoke to me that she recognized I was reacting to her in the right way. I believe that was God telling me that too. She also thanked me TWICE for typing up the list for her. The first time when I dropped it in the tray in her office and the 2nd time when she was leaving the building. She even said “I really appreciate it”. So it was nice to get some positive feedback from her, lol!

    I was very humbled on Saturday. And it very much brought me back in the Spirit. A really important lesson for Christians is that, when our flesh is suffering, our spirit is being made alive. So don’t fight the trials God brings you through. God is Sovereign. He’s in control of every situation and trial we are in. Submit to Him, cooperate with Him, and He will do a VERY quick work. Praise the Lord!!

    • Timothy Luke says:

      Sara, WOW!! I know God gets all the glory for working in you, but I also admire you for letting Him work in you. There is great peace that comes with yielding. In my work, I almost enjoy the challenge of picky customers. If I can please them, I know I am on the right track! Thank you for sharing that experience. I know it will bless many others!

      Tim

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