God is Able!

I am 20 years old and since 2005, I felt like everything that could go wrong in my life did. At 14 years old I was molested by my stepfather. At that time i felt that no one in this world cared and felt so alone, so when he noticed my weakness he used the “im there for you” speech. Not to mention that to this day i dont know anyone that knows the bible as well as him. When I finally confessed to my mother, it nearly killed her. She didnt know why she couldnt protect me. During the period she divorced him, i had promised myself that i would never trust anyone again because if you do, someone gets hurt. With this in mind of course, i hurt other people including the only guy i ever truly loved. So in my second year of college, I began to evaluate my life. I asked God why did i do these things and why isnt He there. By the grace of God, i began to ask for a deeper relationship with God, also to forgive not only my stepdad bt myself. Times goes by and i find myself hating us both. Me and my guy were having problems and i was very insecure about a beauty that befriended him. In November 2010, my real dad was killed and the same month me and my guy ended our relationship. The next month, he’s going out with the same girl. So i had to deal with the loss of two people i loved dearly. Not to mention a broken heart. At this point, the devil used my hurt against me, my fear of trust made me believe that yes, when u trust people, even God, someone gets hurt. So all of December, i went back and forth with God of how He couldnt possibly love me. That my pain will not be avenged and that i deserved to be hurt. Also in my head was that this girl was WAY better than me as a person and that she couldnt possibly have problems like me. I never was in such a dark place and was VERY upset with God.
Funny how God works because out of the blue one night when i was talking to Him, He spoke back. He placed on my heart that i was molested to take away the most critical quality of a relationship, trust. Satan used my circumtstance as a way to hinder my relationship with Him. So basically God was waiting on me to want the trust back. terrified as i was, i began to trust Him two weeks after that coversation i saw my stepdad and prayed my heart out for him when i was finally alone. I am amazed at how God was changing me the entire time just so i could be that person. As for the guy who hurt me, i forgive him, with all my heart because i know that my pain will be avenged. It has even been placed on my heart that he will not stay with his newfound girlfriend much longer. No matter what is said or what he said to me, i still believe because for one, you cannot obtain happiness through someone’s pain and that what is of God will not hurt anyone, maybe make them upsetr but not cause them pain. But it feels SOOO good to know God IS ABLE to do just what He said He will do. If you would just dare to trust Him and cast all youre cares, worries, and pains to Him, not only will He delivere you bt He will strengthen you, restore you, comfort you and avenge your pain. Do not touch His anoited. Trust me if i can trust Him through all my pain, so can you!

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