My Celebration of Deliverance
Family of Origin:
I came from a multi-generational high-level bloodline occult family. I was purposely conceived and birthed for mind control, torture and ritual purposes. My family’s background includes high level Masonic members and connections. I have three half sisters and one half brother. My mother and surrogate father were extreme alcoholics. Chaos was the norm. I was singled out as the scapegoat for abuse by all members of the family. I continually experienced every type of abuse imaginable, including physical, gross sexual, rape, sodomy, extreme neglect, poverty, and forced child pornography, and prostitution.
We moved very frequently. During my seventeen years at home, we lived in twenty-seven different houses in four states. I attended twelve different schools using alias names in each new locale. I was extremely isolated by my parents. I did not know everyone didn’t wake up and look in the mirror and find they were two years older and living in a different house and going to a different school. I thought terror, starvation, torture, and abuse were normal.
I was born with a cleft pallet and harelip, and was in continuous ill health during my growing years. Medical care was given only when I was in a life-threatening situation. Otherwise it was a luxury.
Escape and Hope:
My first husband was handpicked by my parents and I was forced to marry at seventeen years of age. Abuse and control continued. This marriage did give me the opportunity to move to California and put some distance away from the horror of my family. I had two daughters; I was divorced after four years. With my second husband Ted I found myself truly loved and cherished for the first time in my life. He loved and raised my children as if they were his own. We’ve been married 25 years.
In February 1977 I accepted Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and Savior by reading Corrie Ten Boom’s book “The Hiding Place.” As Corrie knew Jesus amidst the horror of the concentration camps, I recognized that Jesus had been with me in the midst of the horror of my childhood, continuously drawing me and wooing me. Now as His child I found a measure of hope and security and a knowing of His love that enabled me to trust and find courage to face all that was coming. As an adult I always likened my life to being born in a concentration camp. Only God in His matchless wisdom would use Corrie’s story of a concentration camp to reach me and save me.
Falling Apart at the Seams:
Once I was secure in my second marriage, my tenuous health fell to pieces. The childhood abuse now needed attention. The ensuing years brought twenty-one major surgeries of reconstruction and repair due to the earlier abuse and torture. I was on a medical merry-go-round with hemorrhages, immune disorders, unexplained skin disorders, a wide range of gastric disorders, chronic pain, infections, major dental and oral problems, and extreme anemia. This resulted in numerous hospitalizations apart from the surgeries. I saw an endless array of medical specialists and was treated numerous times at Stanford Hospital.
I did not enter into serious psychotherapy until my surrogate father died. Following his death, flashbacks and memories began flooding and I commenced the long, arduous journey of nineteen years of intense psychotherapy and thirteen years under the watch of a psychiatrist. The professionals were often at a loss as to understand what had happened to me and how best to help me. One therapist and author was able to use my story when lecturing to students at Harvard Medical School about recognizing the signs of abuse in their future patients. It was very difficult to work with me at times for sure. I am grateful for the ones who hung with me throughout the journey. I have been told that case histories like mine usually require institutionalization and rarely attain normal functioning. However, throughout it all I was somewhat functional, which gave me some hope.
After 13 years of therapy I did seem to level off and took a break from the regimen. But soon there was more. I began working with a Christian therapist, who specialized in Dissociative Identity Disorder and Ritual Abuse. He also taught college graduate studies in the field of DID. Over the next 51/2 years 340 alter personalities were identified, and multitudes of layered fragments were found in my multiple system. Some integration occurred, and then my situation became nightmarishly worse.
My physical health plummeted. I was diagnosed with Critical Lung Disease, and Critical Asthma. Painful cracked ribs were the norm resulting from severe coughing bouts. Pneumonia onsets were frequent. Fibromyalgia like pains were debilitating. Fatigue was constantly with me. My immune system became nearly non-functional. Serious anemia required ongoing monitoring. I no longer responded to IV antibiotics. I was blessed by being under the watchful care of more medical specialists, but their best efforts were not bringing improvement to my condition. I was actually getting worse. My therapist then began to do deliverance sessions, which helped to a degree. However, I began to really sense that my struggle was much bigger in the spiritual dimension then he or I was aware of. It felt like my physical and emotional life was draining away. I was increasingly consumed with terror day and night. I was rarely sleeping and when I did the night terrors were hideous beyond description.
Answered Prayer & Deliverance:
In December 1998 I began to pray that God would send someone who could truly help me. I knew whoever it would be was going to have to be more knowledgeable in spiritual warfare and deliverance than anyone I was aware of out there in the Christian realm. In March 1999 my therapist was invited to observe Marion Knox work with victims of extreme ritual abuse. He went as a clinical observer not with my case in mind at all. As Marion was working my therapist realized they were describing some detailed rituals and mutilation which I had uncovered in my therapy. He asked me to talk to Marion. When I did, Marion asked questions for which I had answers all my life. Up to this point, no medical or psychological professional or pastor had ever asked me the questions.
On May 3, 1999 with my husband and therapist participating, by God’s grace Marion, in a three hour telephone conference call, delivered me of my Legion & DID system. I had immediate and complete integration. I was whole in my mind for the first time ever. God did in three hours, what I had attempted to do in over 19 years of therapy at a cost of nearly $180,000!!!
Once the confusion and fragmentation of my mind was healed and not able to serve as the “smoke and mirrors” for my demonic system to hide behind, all hell broke loose in more physical and mental fury. My ritual programming and infirmities seemed to implode. By mid August 1999 there was nothing more that could be done for me medically or psychologically. I believed I was dying.
My husband and I traveled to Marion’s home in late October 1999 . Over a span of twenty-seven hours, Marion found the strongman, Josef, of my demonic system and removed him and the deep programming which resided within me. My infirmity systems departed as well. On November 2,1999, I was physically, spiritually and emotionally healed. I had immediate indications that my asthma and fibromyalgia were gone. At the time I got to Oregon I was taking over fifteen medications and several inhalers plus using a Nebulizer to assist breathing every two hours around the clock. I now take one routine prescription medication and am otherwise medication free for the first time in my life. At one point I was taking several psychotropic medications that I was told I would need for the rest of my life due to chemical imbalances in my brain. I am now pain free, and there continues to be no trace of asthma or lung disease. Even lung scarring which appeared in x-rays has disappeared. On returning from Oregon I stopped therapy and gradually was released by my key doctors.
Today I enjoy a clean bill of health. Spiritually , I have a passion for the Lord along with awesome joy and peace. I feel like I am in an envelope of peace! I no longer have fear after walking, talking and breathing terror for 47 years. God’s Word is vibrant and the struggle to grow and move forward in my Christian walk is gone! I am truly able to love the Lord with all my heart, all my mind and all my soul and strength!!! I can truly say that with Christ all things are possible!
All the kings horses and all the kings men could not put me together and render me whole. Only the King of King’s Himself could do it.
Psalm 86: 11-13 (Amplified Version) Teach me Your way, O Lord, that I may walk and live in Your truth; direct and unite my heart (solely, reverently) to fear and honor Your name. I will confess and praise You, O Lord my God, with my whole (united) heart; and I will glorify Your name forevermore. For great is Your mercy and loving-kindness toward me; and You have delivered me from the depths of Sheol (from exceeding depths of affliction).
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