I was raised a Catholic and attended Catholic schools for most of my life. My experiences with God were pretty non-existent as far as a personal relationship was concerned. I just followed blind tradition and just did whatever people told me I had to do to be "accepted" by God.
Through the years I had the opportunity to meet people who had rewarding personal relationships with God. These people let me know that it was possible to have a personal relationship with God. I was taught (overall because of my particular dysfunctional Catholic upbringing) that God was more or less out of touch- not really caring for you unless you made great sacrifices and suffered greatly i.e. only those of us who suffers the most might be given an opportunity to experience God. I was taught by other Christians to abandon that thinking and to seek a personal relationship with God. So I prayed the typical, "I want to give my life to Jesus prayer forgive me I'm a sinner etc."-Not really expecting too much but I did have faith that something good was going to happen. What happened was seriously nothing like I was expecting.
I went to bed one night and I had a dream that I was walking along the street and there was a terrible thunderstorm raging. For some odd reason I couldn't find my way home-although this dream was taking place right in my very own neighborhood.
The storm grew increasingly worse. Lightning began to strike the ground all around me. The rain began to pour. Trees were being struck by lightening and being destroyed. It was very loud thunder. I was very very scared at this moment because I felt like at any second I was next to be struck by lightening. I was feeling very lost and overwhelmingly afraid, so afraid - that I began to crawl around on my hands and knees along a dark alley way that I had stumbled upon trying desperately to make myself smaller and insignificant as to avoid being struck and killed by these lightening bolts.
The storm only got even louder and the rain began to pour even heavier. The lightening was even fiercer. Although I knew which way to go to get home I was completely paralyzed with fear. I had never before felt so vulnerable and completely alone in my life. I just knew at any second I was going to be struck by lightning bolt and destroyed. So I just closed my eyes and shivered like a little child.
All of a sudden a voice came from the area behind me. The voice said," Stand up and do not be afraid." The voice was a deep, resonating and calm, I was surprised even to hear it among this great storm. My own fear kept me down on the ground. I was still very afraid and I didn't know who's this voice was or really even where it had come from.
So I stayed trembling on the ground.
The voice said again, but this time with absolute authority, "Stand up and do not be afraid!" Let me speculate upon the authority of this voice for a moment.
The authority in this voice was so definite and undeniable and reassuring that I knew, I had never in my life heard anything like it before. It was a voice of GREAT power and authority and I knew all of a sudden this was a voice and/or person of such power and authority that I had better summon up all what little courage I had inside to do what ever it told me to do. The storm in all its fury was no match for the great authority in the voice.
Nonetheless and oddly enough- in all it's power it was non-threatening. I didn't feel for one moment that if I didn't do what this voice asked that I would be punished in anyway. It was a loving reassuring voice but still had an undeniable authority.
Believing this voice, I summoned up whatever courage I had inside to stand up. I temporarily pushed a side my great fear
and slowly stood up. I didn't turn around to face this person but I knew he was standing behind me. Immediately I felt this
great Love coming from behind me, and the voice said," Do not be afraid of anything because I am in you; you are in me
therefore you and I are one." When he said these wor
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