Never Forsaken

On the 26th of January, 2000, I was returning to Kuwait from India. I wasn't really excited about the idea, but then, this is where I earn my living. The journey was pretty smooth all the way. I cleared through immigrations, collected my luggage, walked to a custom officer, who checked my baggage. He was about to let me go, when he pointed to my hand bag and said,
"Give me that". After thoroughly checking the contents, he took out a big brown envelope, and said, "What's this?" I said, "I don't know. This was given to me at the airport for someone out here." He opened it, laughed and said, "Do you usually carry drugs for people?"

I began to panic! I'm not going to explain in detail what I went through at the airport. All I can say is, the officers were brutal in their behaviour and by the time they were done with me, I was totally humiliated to the point where it didn't matter if I lived or died after that. If only I could have seen it then, that through my weakness, Satan was having the time of his life. But then,  Satan's other name is  'camouflage'. As strange as this may sound, most people, when they get into difficulties, the last thing they think of doing is to pray! And this is exactly what happened to me. Like most of the people, I was mentally, physically and spiritually worn out by fear. I let fear flood my soul. Whatever faith I had in me, I let fear destroy it.

I allowed Satan to say to me, "Your life is over now and there's nothing you can do about it."  There was so much fear inside of me, that I completely forgot that I had the Lord on my side. I was totally controlled by fear. Slowly it dawned on me, and I
cried out to the Lord, "Oh Lord, I'm scared. I want to go home.  Please, I beg of you, take me home." And the next thing I saw was a familiar face. It was the face of a friend, my brother's friend. Of course, I wasn't allowed to talk to him because the
officers wouldn't allow me to. But the Lord allowed me to say, "Ahmed, please tell my brother to call my lawyer, his number is in my brown wallet in my drawer." All it took was, for me to put my trust in God and to resist the devil. It says in James 4:7
"Submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you." Of course, I didn't know this then, but I know it now.

I couldn't close my eyes and pretend that the devil wasn't there and that from then on, things would be perfect. No! I was detained at the airport for several hours. I was interogated by so many officers. I began to get anxious and here's another thing I didn't know - the Bible clearly tells us in Matthew 6:34 "Don't be anxious." I realised that my anxious behaviour did nothing to help me. All it did was make me feel God was far away.  And finally after almost 7 hours of pure hell, the CID officers took me to the Criminal Jail.

When we reached the jail, I was pushed into a 3x4 room that had 2 bathrooms in it, no window, just an exhaust on one side of the wall, and a huge black iron door. There were 12 other women in there too. Once again I let fear take control of my life. I just couldn't believe what was happening to me. I was so frightened that I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me. I
moved towards the extreme corner of the wall behind the door. I made a ball of myself, held on to my knees and then, in hardly a few seconds after I was locked in, my eyes read the words, "JESUS LOVES YOU AND ME" inscribed on that black iron door! The Lord knew that I was frighten and it was His way of reassuring me that He too was there with me. It clearly states in
the Bible in Hebrews 13:5 "I will never fail you nor forsake you."

As amazing as it may sound, it was the only way Jesus could tell me that He loves me and that He was there with me in that small cell! I felt in my heart that no matter what happened from then on, Jesus too was with me, holding my hand and He wouldn't let go. I kept saying to myself, "Jesus loves me. Jesus loves me. Jesus loves me!" Although I didn't have any reason to
be happy, I was happy! But let me be very honest here.  Even those words couldn't take away the funny feeling I had in the pit of my stomach. Why? Because I still let Satan control me with 'fear'. I won't deny it, I was still afraid! I didn't know what was happening on the outside. If only I could have put all my trust in the Lord and believed in my heart that everything was going to be alright. But sad to say, I didn't do that, not at that moment.

Fear had taken hold of me. I kept asking the security guard to allow me to talk to my son or my brother. But he wouldn't allow me. Every minute seemed like a year! It was simply unbearable inside the cell. I tried to sleep, but sleep wouldn't come. After an hour inside the cell, I was choking.

The only air entering that cell was through the opening at the bottom of that door. I just couldn't endure it any longer. All the women inside were pretty relaxed, doing their own stuff - chatting, eating, joking, laughing, taking their shower. They were so
comfortable, it was like they lived there.

There was only one elderly Muslim lady who cried a lot. The strange thing is, no matter how scared I was,  I couldn't cry.   I admit one thing though, in spite of my fear, there was an inner calm which I couldn't explain then but I understand it now. For this type of calmness only comes from one person, Jesus! I found out later, that people in India, Canada and States were praying for me. That explains the tranquility I felt even in my worst moments. I really can't express in words how I managed to get through my first night in the cell. To put it in simple English, every minute was traumatic and frightful! If I managed to fall off
to sleep, it was due to mere exhaustion. I was exhausted from getting up early in the morning to catch my flight. Exhausted from the hours I was held up at the airport and exhausted from the whole ordeal.

The light in the cell was never swithced off, but yet, I must have dozed off to sleep within an hour after being thrown inside. But, only to awaken a few hours later and notice that all the women were fast asleep. That strange feeling in the pit of my stomach returned all over again. I must have dozed off to sleep again. I woke up at about five in the morning (I knew it was morning because I had my watch) and the other women were fast asleep. As I sat there, I could hear the devil say, "You've blown it! You're so weak, your're such a lousy Christian. Give up! Throw in the towel. You'll never make it!" I got up and began to pace up and down. As I walked, my eyes were turned towards a writing on the wall. The words I read were, "Those who believe in Jesus was saved" (written in poor grammar).  The Lord knew what Satan was up to, so He took hold of my hand and said to me, "Come child, read these words, for this is all you have to do, believe in me!"

Of course, nothing changed in the cell. It was still very difficult to breath in there. Each time I got choked, I would go to the door, bend down on my knees, place my nose to the floor and breathe in as much oxygen as I could. I did this several times through out the day. If I wasn't at the door, I was pacing up and down 1, 2, 3 steps up and 1, 2, 3 steps back that was all the space my feet could take me. To be honest, these were the only verses I had memorised from the Bible and in  my moments of weakness and defeat I kept repeating them: 2 TIM 1:7 "THE LORD HAS NOT GIVEN ME A SPIRIT OF FEAR, BUT OF POWER, OF LOVE AND OF A SOUND MIND", 1 JOHN 4:4 "GREATER IS HE THAT IS IN ME THAN HE THAT IS IN THE WORLD" and ROM 8:31 "IF THE LORD BE FOR US WHO CAN BE AGAINST US". These verses gave me inner strength, hope to go on and cling to a love that I could never begin to understand the love of my Lord Jesus Christ!

It was now my second day in the cell. I had not eaten any food. All I did was drink water to moisten my lips which were sore. I just wanted the nightmare to come to an end. I longed to go home, to family and friends. Food was the last thing on my mind. I continued to pray. In fact, that's all I ever did. If I paced up and down, I was praying. If I sat, I had my palms outstretched upwards and I'd pray and if I was lying down, I was praying. I never stopped praying. My lips never stopped giving thanks and praise to the Lord.

On my third day in the cell, the Lord spoke to me again. There were many writings on the walls. But the Lord didn't want me to see them all at one time. So, each day, my eyes would see what He, the Lord wanted them to see. This time, I read, "JESUS IS MY STRENGTH". It's like the Lord knew that I would need strength on the third day, because I hadn't eaten anything. I just couldn't eat. The sight of the food made me want to throw up. In the Bible it says, "for my strength is made perfect in weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9.

On the evening of the third day, I was sitting and praying as usual, while all the women did their usual stuff -  talked, laughed, ate. Among them, there was this Muslim woman. From the day I was put in the cell, I noticed that although she prayed, she was always unhappy and she cried ever so often. That evening she came and sat by my side and said to me, "Who are you
praying to?" I said, "Jesus. He is the only one I know how to pray to and through Him, my father in Heaven hears me." Then she said, "Can you pray for me too." I said to her, "I can, but I want you to pray to him." Then she said, "What did you say his name was?" I said, "Jesus." Then, she said, "Jesus" and she began to pray and I actually heard her take the name of Jesus. And seconds later she said, "You know what, I feel so much better."  Ofcourse, I didn't know then that the Lord had actually used me, but I know it now. For it clearly says in, John 4:34 "My food is to do the will of Him who sent Me, and to finish His work."
Yes, as Christians, we should be good examples to the others around us especially to non-believers. Our faith in Jesus should be noticed by them.

This part of my testimony is vital. I must say, that no matter what I was going through, I never stopped giving thanks and praise to the Lord. I don't know if you have read, "PRISON TO PRAISE" - "POWER IN PRAISE" - and "PRAISE WORKS", I'm really glad I did!  I know, if I hadn't read those books before my horrible ordeal, I would have never known how to thank and
praise the Lord for what happened to me at the airport, for the 3 nights in the cell and for what I'm still going through

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