What totally blows my mind about God, is the extent of His desire for us. He reaches out to us in our darkest hour and says "trust me". He knows our joy and pain, our weaknesses and strengths, our every thought. Though we often ignore the signs of His presence, He seeks us out and never lets go of us.
My time of trial came with my third pregnancy. With occasional severe bleeding that was an enigma to my Doctor, I found myself in labour at 28 weeks. Advised that most babies can survive at this stage of gestation, my labour was traumatic to say the least and my baby did not survive. My mother immediately came alongside, having experienced a similar fate, but it was my father's letter that really threw my brain into reverse thrust. Having always considered that I was the one in charge of my life, his letter suggested that perhaps there was a higher authority that was in control. Those words seemed to seer my brain and after getting out of hospital, I found myself visiting libraries in search of answers.
I read a number of books that seemed to touch my heartstrings in a way that I had never before experienced. I kept asking myself " what is happening to me, why are the lives of a Catholic saint and an abandoned uneducated child, having so much affect on heart and mind? I seemed to recognise that I was being led, so my search continued. Several months later with the festive season over, I decided that perhaps it was a good idea for my children to attend Sunday School. After all, they needed to know about the baby Jesus that was born in a stable and besides, they were somewhat confused about where their sibling had actually died. This seemed an appropriate time to address such issues.
Having dropped them at the local Sunday School, I then considered whether I should sit and wait in the car, go home or check out the church service. Funny, how the latter seemed to draw me the most. What really knocked the wind out of me, was the sermon. It seemed to be suggesting that I was sinner, separated from God by my sin but that God would forgive my sins because of the death of His precious Son, Jesus. I came out of that feeling quite dazed, as if I had been hit over the head with a sledgehammer! Strangely enough, justifying to myself that it was for the sake of the children, I went to church the following week and the same thing ha
Get your free registration and log in to view entire article
Post new comment