Hurt And Depression

Transformed by God's Love

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord. 'Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you a hope and a future.'" Jeremiah 29:11

This is a solid promise from God, one that lots of Christians rest on. When we look at our lives, sometimes things look like so much chaos. (Especially at times in our lives when the future is blank, when you're about to have a child, when you're starting a new career, or going to college, like I'm about to do.) Looking back, the most wonderful realization is when you see that God had a plan in your life all along. That He was working things out, even when you thought He had left you, even when you thought you had left Him.

Some people's testimonies are like fireworks; darkness for a long time, then all of a sudden there's bright lights, and their lives are never the same. That's awesome. Those stories and the people that embody them are wonderful witnesses to God's power. However, my testimony isn't like that. God has pulled me to Himself with cords of love, so subtly that I almost didn't
notice at the time.

As a child, my parents were "church-goers". We were very regular about attending service, and I learned much about Bible stories and God. I thought I loved Him, but I had no thought of a relationship with a living God or what loving Jesus really meant.

When I was in fourth grade, something happened that would help form my personality and change my world forever. My parents got divorced. This changed my life and left scars that I am still working through, but God used it for good. It helped make me who I am today, the bad, but also made part of the good things of my charecter. Also, during the process, my mother
became a Christian. This led to my exposure to true Christianity. Some time later, I found a tract in her bathroom. After reading through it, I prayed the prayer on the back twice, just to let God know I really meant it. I was still very ignorant about Him, and I had almost no realization of the depth of what I had just done.

Throughout elementary school, I made very little spiritual progress. I was bitter and hurt over both my parents' divorce and the disappointment resulting from a overly emotional dependency on people. I was going with my sister and my mom to Burke Community Church by this time, but I wasn't socially involved, and I was very indifferent about going to church at all.
In seventh grade, a friend invited me to a bible study called Saturday Night Light. They were going to a youth conference called Acquire the Fire, and I was invited to go. About a month before the conference, I started attending SNL. It was a group of Christians, all different ages, from all different d

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