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Gods Will in Marriage
Which Way Lord? - Chapter 3 - Dr Chandrakumar
God’s Will In Marriage
“Brother, how can I find God's will in choosing my wife/my husband?” is a very pertinent question. Today, there are thousands of broken marriages, as much importance has not been given to this question.
Once when I was ministering to young people in Singapore, a young girl came and asked me, “Brother, I have already fallen in love with a young boy, now how can I find God's will?” My immediate answer was, “You have fallen? Get up! Why did you fall?” In Christian marriage there is no such thing as “falling in love.” It has only the concept of “entering into a love relationship” in marriage to a man or a woman chosen by God. The Bible only says, “Husbands love your wives…” (Eph. 5:25), and not “Boys love your girlfriends” or vice versa.
It is true that love is needed even to choose the life partner. But what kind of a love should it be? It should be a pure, mature love from God for our future marriage partner and it should be out of respect for the partner's devotion and commitment to Christ. This love should not be mixed with emotions of the flesh. It is a two-way process and both partners should experience this kind of love and be equally guided by the Lord towards each other.
We must be extremely careful in choosing our life partner. If we carefully follow some of the principles of finding God's will, with much fasting and prayer, in an unreserved, unconditional openness, then the Lord will definitely give us the right partner and his best choice. These principles are given in my book: “Which way Lord?”
As I was a gifted young man, more parents were after me than eligible women. But I was extremely strict and careful in this area of my life. Though I was broad minded and lived in a cosmopolitan, sophisticated society, I always endeavoured to maintain a distance from young women. I talked with them freely but kept myself far away from any emotional involvement with anyone. But I had already started praying that the Lord would show me the right person, at the right time, preferably through some other mature believers in Christ. According to Jeremiah 29:11, I believed that God had a plan and purpose in my life, to give me a hope and future and that he had already chosen the best person for me. Hence my prayer was, “Lord show me that person.”
At last, the day arrived when the Lord revealed my life partner to me in a prayer conference. A mature, senior sister in the Lord (Mrs. Christine Jeyachandran) who had been very much concerned and praying for me, approached me and said that the Lord was showing her a girl in that conference who would be the right person for me. Then I started praying about it and that evening the Lord gave me an opportunity to listen to this girl’s testimony. It was almost the same testimony as mine. She had the same kind of vision and commitment, burden for lost souls, and had already been involved in ministry among students and children, just like myself. I also shared my testimony with her.
That night, I spent a long time on my knees, asking the Lord to clearly show me whether she was his best choice for me. With great openness, I asked the Lord to either say “Yes” or “No”, as He already knew the answer. In the quietness of that night, I could hear a still clear voice saying, “Yes”
to me and at the same time I felt an inner peace which I believe is the peace of God that passeth all understanding (Phil. 4:7), which in turn gives an assurance of God’s will.
Then I asked the Lord to further confirm this through supporting verses in the Bible. Then immediately the Lord showed me Psalms 84:11 which says, “... No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly.” And the next passage was Psalms 128:3,4 which says, “Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine within your house, your children like olive plants around your table. Behold, for thus shall the man be blessed who fears the Lord.”
The next morning, sister Christine came and told me that the Lord made it clear to her that night that this girl was the person of His choice for me. The same afternoon, the Lord gave me an opportunity to sit and share some of these things with the girl. I told her to start praying about it and keep it confidential till the Lord made it clear to her. I believe that finding God's will in marriage requires two-way communication. If the Lord can speak to the man, why not to the woman? So I asked her to take her own time and wait upon the Lord to know his will and then feel free to let me know what guidance she had received from him. She took about nine months to let me know about this, but I felt more like nine years had passed by.
I had decided not to keep in touch with her during this period. Though I had many opportunities to visit her place I never did so, since I felt that there should not be any emotional involvement when such decisions are taken. Then, after much prayer and waiting upon the Lord, when she too felt the Lord clearly guiding her towards me, she spoke to her parents and to one of her senior counselors and prayed with them. Then with the permission of her parents she told me how the Lord had been guiding her through certain circumstances and through the Word of God.
Upon hearing from her, I did not straight away write to her or go over to her house. I immediately wrote to my parents about the proposal and shared the matter with my senior counselors. However spiritual we may be and even know God's will we cannot neglect our parents. Parents are our God-appointed guardians. Even though some of our parents may not be believers, they have to be respected and honoured (Eph. 6:1-3). We have to consult them and inform them the Lord's guidance. The final decision is that of the individual as God guides, as the above verse says we must obey them in the Lord (Eph. 6:1). That is what I did.
Though initially there was some resistance from my parents, they agreed after much prayer and by the grace of God. Then I asked them to formally write a letter to the woman's parents seeking their willingness in giving their daughter in marriage to me. They did so and everything was arranged between our families. I am not saying that everyone should follow the same pattern and method of approach, but the basic principles are important.
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Comments
Help with my marriage, what does God Want?
Ok, I am having such a hard time trying to find out what I am supposed to do with my marriage on God's basis of understanding. I need words of wisdom from all of you people out there that know HIS Word! My husband has not cultivated our relationship in almost one year. I also have caught him looking at gay porn. He denies this. I have encouraged him to get to know Jesus numerous times. He claimed before marriage to know the Bible stating that he read the entire Bible. I can forgive his looking at gay porn. However, lots of things are still going on in the background. We were not married in a church setting, in which I wanted. We were married at a civil ceremony. He is not cultivating the relationship. I have his word that he called men to speak about gay topics, and sharing emails about gay topics both actions done by him and including him getting aroused etc. He chooses to do these things and not change. I want to know my position according to God's way. I am not happy. I am hurting emotionally, and want to end my anguish. I talk till I am blue in the face with him regarding this topic. Please if anyone can tell me or suggest to me what to do, I'd be appreciative.
Your marriage
This is very tough. What I would do in your shoes is this:
Demand you see a marriage counsellor. Even a secular one if he won't talk to a pastor. That might help. He needs to know this is a very serious issue with you. You also need to study him from a psychological point of view to work out how you can get him to really hear you, and you him.
If he refuses this, I would go on a fast - maybe a juice fast if your circumstances require you needing energy for duties. Ask God to save him.
If that doesn't work and there is no change:
If you don't have children and responsibilities like that, tell him you are going to separate for a while. Go off and seek God.
If he still won't repent, you know what? He has effectively committed adultery against you (sexual immorality) and you could divorce him if nothing works. But I wouldn't do this unless first doing all in my strength to pray and invite the Holy Spirit to move, as well as to get counselling together. A man can still be stubborn and sinful in spite of all this. Then you may have no option except to be unhappy in marriage or terminate the marriage because he broke the vows repeatedly. Ask God about this, too. My thoughts are certainly not infallible on matters like this.
RE: Your marriage
He also told me we entered our marriage based on lies...he said he had intimate relations with a man, which I asked about prior to marriage which he denied....then he just admitted it after marriage. He does not want to change, he does not want counsel either he said. I have no need for energy as I have plenty. I do not need to fast.
Abby, I am sorry you have
Abby, I am sorry you have been shamed this way. Whenever a man turns to porn, it is debasing the wife. Just as it debases a man when a woman turns to erotic novels and fantasies. There appears to be clear Biblical ground for leaving the marriage, but even with a 'green light' it is not always what God ultimately desires one to do; This is why you should seek your wisdom from God, through fasting - as a means toward that end. If you have no children, then I would recommending abstaining from any until you know God's will for this unionWhat Michael was saying about the fasting is that you needed to fast to hear God... this is going without food and drinking only water, but if you needed formedical reasons to keep up your blood sugars, then to abstain from food, but drink juice only for the fasting period... I can see how those words had two meanings"Father, we pray for our sister that you would grant her direction in this time of need. Help her to choose and walk in the path of forgiveness toward her husband and deliver her from the fear and isolation this situation has brought to her. In Jesus' name, make your will VERY clear to her, amen."
Abby - you work it out before God
Abby, you have been treated badly here according to what you say. The purpose of fasting is to bring God's miraculous power into your situation through humility. If you have no desire to save the marriage because of the way you've been treated, then its up to you to decide what to do. We all answer to God and you just need to know God's will.
marriage
With my circumstances being what they are right now In my own marriage let me just say that it takes 2 to go through counseling together. Not just one. Mentally it may help the one. But if the marriage is going to work my then both have to participate. Mine is really one sided at this point too. But a dear brother from online here sent me a prayer cloth and I slipped it in her pillowcase yesterday! .I had to surrender to God and let go of my own efforts. Hopefully she stays. But if not. Then I will still trust God no matter what
i wanted to ask
I wanted to ask that if i am in a love relationship with a girl is it right to have or continue the relationship with that girl till the marriage ...or to discontinue it.as can u explain or help me out
Oh Boy
Oh Boy, after reading this I feel so terrified. I did mention some time ago that I was muslim prior to accepting vows and that my partner, for the past three years, and I were married under Islamic rites. At the time, I felt like I had done the right things as we never fornicated per se before taking the Islamic Marriage rites but the marriage still was not registered by law. Now that I am a Christian, I thought it only fitting to take Christian vows and have my marriage registered, I am trying my utmost best to grow in Christ. My husband (to be) serves God - we go to Church together every Sunday. He prays and acknowledges God but there are a few things that he still struggles with that I have already gotten over. For instance, we were both smokers. He smoked cigarettes, I actually had a nasty marijuana addiction. I was able to overcome this when the Holy Spirit spoke directly to me in words as clear as could be warning me that the devil was using this to destroy my life and I would eventually die. He, however still struggles with his smoking habit, and it causes a lot of bickering and tension between us - one because I tend to pressure him about it and he gets angry, two - it weighs heavily on our expenditure. We don't have a home of our own and can't afford one right now but I am praying to God about this and I know that in due time he will make this happen (in Jesus name I speak it into being). In the mean time, we get entangled in issues with my in-laws and these issues tend to agitate him and he takes out his frustration on me. He isn't violent but he withdraws, or avoids contact with me, or does things that seems like I am being punished when I have done nothing wrong. I know that he loves me and he is a good support, I just believe that he needs deliverance. I am not sure how long I can wait for this deliverance to take place. Should I wait in patience or does this seem like a situation I should turn my back on and move on?
I am so confused and I don't know what to do but I want to do what is right..... Please help
Hi Abby, God is our
Hi Abby, God is our Deliverer. He you did not come up with the will power on your own to overcome the marijuana. He called you to repentance and He gave you power over the enemy at the same time. "for it is God who works in you both to will (when he warned you, it became your will) and to do (he delivered you from the power of an addictive spirit, and enabled you by His Spirit) of His good pleasure" (Phillippians 2:23?)to overcome. This is what needs to happen for your husband. Your part is to patiently speak to God about your husband and prayerfully encourage him in his walk with the Lord, while praying the Lord to "grant him repentance to the acknowledging of the truth that he might escape himself out of the snare of the devil." 2 tim 4:23-25?
In all things make your supplication to God when your husband is not meeting your expectations and is unwilling, unable to listen. Do not nag him, ask God to do that for you, and you will find more peace and will release God's hand to deal with your husband.
That is my opinion.
Christianity having a strong
Christianity having a strong faith of marriage. Christian thought it is the gift of God. White dress Wedding rings are tradition of Christian marriage. But platinum rings and other diamond rings also used for wedding. Christian believe with the reference of bible God make bride and groom with each other for love. Love between young boy and girl is not true love. It is very beneficial article about concept of marriage in Christianity.
Pray for me
I was reading my bible and suddenly had a thought that I was going to marry a pastor and that we were going to be in a ministry. Which was odd, because marrying a pastor is something I said that I would never do(before I was born-again). I am majoring in Business Administration, but as of late (this past week), it seems like God is pulling me in another direction, christian counseling or some other ministry based in emotional healing. I am also getting the feeling that I am going to the wrong school, that I should be somewhere else. I don't know, I need prayer and guidance. I want to know what the will of God is in what he wants me to do with my life.
i need help
i am so confused. i don't what to do. i made a big mistake. i am a christian, but not a very good one, because i made the mistake of marrying a muslim man. he is very poor and is from india. he probably married me for my money and for my us citizenship. i have found that he has been unfaithful to me. he says he is sorry and wants me back. i don't believe he is sorry but is continuing in his infidelity. regardless of what he has done, i feel that i must keep my promise to be his wife. if our marriage is to end in divorce, i will let him divorce me. i believe he will divorce me once he gets what he wants, us visa, citizenship, and my money. if that is what he wants to do, i cannot change that, but i still feel that it is my duty to be his wife, according to what the bible says. i must live up to my end of the bargain no matter what. i can only control me not him. i want to do the right thing, what god wants me to do. i made the mistake of marrying an unbeliever and now i must bear the penalty of my mistake.
Hi Rachel, You do need help
Hi Rachel,
You do need help and as a fellow Christian I can safely say that it is good to admit that you made a wrong decision. I was a muslim for five years before accepting Christ. The very nature of the muslim man, the man under this occultic order, is to be polygamous. Never believe that a muslim man will be faithful to you. He can always use the excue that his religion allows him to look beyond you and what can be called first wife. I am not apt in the word but I will make a study of your case using the word to see what guidance lies therein. In the mean time, you must be guided by the Holy Spirit to discern truth from untruth and to make the right decisions, being already in the situation. Keep focused on your salvation and work it out with fear and trembling. Remember that the fear of God is the beginning of understanding. It is apparent that your husband lacks this understanding but to you I say seek ye first the kingdom of God and all things will be added on to you.
May God bless you and you can contact me anytime you need someone to talk to. I am almost always on line or you can email me at abby_sonk@yahoo.com. Remember that Jesus loves you and always will and for what its worth, I love you too my sister....
My Lord please cleanse me
Dear Brothers and Sisters,
I am so broken right now. I was saved 2 years ago. Around that time I met a wonderful woman at a church convocation. A Godly friendship ensued and then even talk of marriage.
but we disobeyed. We were filled with lust and crossed the boundary. Since then... we have had no rest.
Now the relationship is broken. She says God has told her to leave the relationship.
Dear brothers and sisters...i am sorrowful and repentant. I just wanted to share this for i want to hear God's Voice so bad!
I am so sorry for the disobedience.
I know that praying for reconciliation is not what is needed. I am just praying to hear His voice.
To know His will in every part of my life.
Any words from you all are welcome.
Focus! Focus! Yes, you have
Focus! Focus! Yes, you have made a mistake and we all do but you must not take your eyes off of Jesus. It is the devil's strategy to make us think that all is lost when we sin but all we must do is to get back on to the straight and narrow. Your flesh is weak so don't put it to the test. Avoid moments of intimacy and socializing of this nature. Your wife, the wife intended for you, will find you and you will find her along the straight and narrow path and intimacy will not be necessary - the Holy Spirit will guide you both to each other. Just relax and Praise God incessantly! When you're happy praise God, when you're lonely praise God, when you're depressed praise God, when you feel the devil encrouching praise God, when the flesh is weak praise God. He will be your strength in your weakest moments...
Will of God
I have been friends with this guy for about 10 months now. We met because one of my closest friends is also a friend of his. We had previously chatted online some years ago but I won’t say I exactly liked him then.
When we then met online again 10 months ago, I discovered that we were very much alike in many things including our faith in God. We attend the same Church but in different countries. I found out that he’s just as serious about God as I am. We began to have feelings for ourselves, which I suppose was alright. However, after 7 months or so, we became complacent and too comfortable as we were now very close and knew a lot about each other.
The relationship lost its foundation in Christ and became carnal and lust filled. We started arguing and all that quite frequently. I then went to a singles conference organised by our Church and I learnt a lot. My eyes were opened to a lot of things. I then spoke to him and told him what I thought which was we had forgotten about God, we had become too comfortable, we had allowed lust to creep in and it was affecting our relationship. He said it was true that he had been thinking about the same thing for some time.
However, my problem is that, I learnt at the single’s conference that we need to know God’s will for us not our will or someone who we think is God’s will. We need to be very certain that anyone we have a relationship that will lead to marriage is God’s perfect will and best for us. I don’t really know what to do because I know I’ve come to love this person. We’ve been through a lot together both spiritually and physically (not carnally). He has told me I am different from the other girls he has had anything to do with because one we don’t live in the same country and our relationship right from the beginning apart from the hiccups has been based on God. I spoke to his sister and she said that she noticed with that with other women, he will try to sweet talk them, he’ll even lie to them to make them happy but with me, he always said it as it was. He has always encouraged me when I have been slacking in my Christian life. These are signs that show me he is a real Christian now.
I want to know if he is the will of God for me and how to know if he is the one because I am so confused right now. He is not forcing me into anything or even talking about it much, but I want to live a holy life and do things in God’s will. I don’t know if I should cut off from him. I haven’t heard any dreams or visions from God about him but I don’t know if feelings is enough to say he is God’s will for me.
Husband
I just got married last year in December, 2008
We have had so many problems and we are no longer together. I have received different prophetic word from six different ministers in less then 4 months. But yesterday I got one that is so different from the others. They said God told them even before I got married that God said my marriage won’t last at all. All the other messages had to do with restoration. What do I do?
Re: Husband
Hi Mary,
I would encourage you to get to know the Word of God very deeply. Often we seek words of knowledge and prophecies because frankly, we do not trust our own relationship with God. This is a MAJOR issue, for if we do not trust that we can hear God for ourselves, we have placed ourselves by our own admission, outside the flock of Jesus. Jesus said, "My sheep know my voice."
So, either you are a sheep in training, which means you need to learn to hear the voice of Jesus for yourself, or you are not a sheep. I believe you are a sheep. You need to make the Bible such a part of who you are that you know the will of God in all things. God is a uniter, not a divider. He has given us the ministry of reconciliation, not the ministry of divorce.
ALL marriages have problems. You would be surprised at how major some of these problems are - and yet, the Lord is faithful and able to restore! I am talking of infidelity and addictions being cleansed.
We are all sinners here my sister. I myself am not the least in that category. Jesus has made a way for reconciliation through understanding His Word. God is love. God's law is love. Sin is the transgression of the law. Any differences between your husband and you involve the fact one or both or you are walking outside the law of love. This is where repentance and forgiveness come in.
They are how we overcome sin. Repentance and forgiveness are how we are delivered from strongholds that threaten us. Is your husband a believer? Are you a believer? If you answer yes to both of those questions, then you should be able to believe God to enable you to humble yourselves before Him and each other and find resolution on all levels. If you cannot do that, then one or both are not really believers, you are 'wanna be' believers.
With God, "all things are possible to him who believes."
If your husband is not a believer, and he is not pleased to dwell with you, let him depart. In all things, seek peace and pursue it.
FYI, prophecies are often passed out like candies for little children by people who have not heard God in the first place. We must weigh prophecies by the Word of God, so even if we hear words of knowledge, we have to go back and do the first works of verifying it in scripture. Why not just speak to God directly and apply His Word to our lives for ourselves? It is am important topic you bring up and very needful that the body of Christ understand so we are not tossed about with every word that comes to us in the name of the Lord.
I hope this helps. God loves you and wants the very best for you. It may be that working through the issues with your spouse is the very best, and so I do not want you to miss out on that. Even the very best of marriages take hard work. Build on the rock, not sand, and your house shall stand.
Blessings to you!
in Doubt and confusion....
Hi,
i wanted to know what is really going...well the thing is i been liking this guy for some time...well a few months and i have seen him in my class in college, talked a bit and then it was a well not too recent chatting online on facebook that i started to like him again....i have heard a lot about him and talked to him and chatted with him online...which doesnt probably help me get the whole picture of who he really is....well somehow i expressed my interest to him but he said he is not interested in any relationship as of right now , also stating that he had a pretty complicated broken relationship a few months back...i told him its totally fine and all that i would give time and space...and he replied that he didnt wanna lose a friend and wanted to keep in touch...i dont what he is really upto...after all this i tried calling him , texting him etc and i got no replies no more.....i felt really down for a while and now am back in shape and just still wondering why he is like this...i dont know if he likes me or not...and most of aLL i need to know if God is pleased in all this...i like him a lot...he has a great personality as of what i seen or sensed soo far and plus he is a believer as well with similiar interests...he stopped responding which makes me confused...i wonder if i over did it by telling him i liked him....he is very nice...maybe this is not God's will..i dont know...or if he could be a good marriage partner , maybe God wants us to wait and that is why nothing is working out...i dont know...please help me.....JC
Re: Doubt and Confusion
Hi Jessica,
Love is a wonderful feeling, but boy does waiting stink! It is all part of finding who is the right one for us. It sounds like you overstepped his boundary. When he asked for time and space, you agreed to give it to him, and then you barraged his reply with calling and texting.
That was pushy. You were wrong. So, here is the good news... You can repent and ask him to forgive and then not write to him again until he asks you to. If he replies to you, do not barrage him or bring anything new to the discussion. Just leave it and wait patiently for him to get back in touch when he is ready.
God's will is that you find a Godly young man... Do not think God will only bless your marriage to one man. You have choices and God gives you guidelines on how to choose, but He does not make that choice for you.
When you repent to him, it will change the atmosphere and should give him the room to breathe he needs.
IBe blessed and patient. Let the Lord's love keep you.
Timothy and Eva, First off,
Timothy and Eva,
First off, I want to thank you both for your advice. It has definitely been very helpful and I have given it some thought.
This is honestly a difficult decision right now in deciding if I should remove him as a friend. In one way it would make things easier for me as I wouldn't have to worry about chatting with him every time we are online at the same time. What used to be an enjoyable and relaxing time for me to go on facebook to update my status, read my comments, read my friend's statuses, and comment on their walls and such, has now turned to pressure. Because now every time we are on at the same time, he engages in a chat with me. If it was someone who was just a friend and nothing more, it would be no problem. But because this guy is interested in me, I now feel pressure in talking to him. He likes me so he wants to talk to me every day. And right now I just need a little breathing room and not feel that pressure to have to talk to him. Plus he now has my number so he texts me every day as well. I just need some time to reflect on everything (the situation, God's direction, my own feelings, advice from my brothers and sisters) without worrying about if and when he's going to chat or text me. I don't want to lead him on (and I told him that that last night. i told him i'm not ready to take any step forward or to meet him at this time because this is very important to me and I want to make the absolute right decision) but I also don't want to ignore him so I reply to him when he texts or starts a chat with me. But like I said, I don't want to talk with him every day (and he contacts me every day) and it's not allowing me a chance to just reflect on this without the pressure. So removing him as a friend would definitely allow that. (although there is teh slight concern that he'll still text me and still send messages to my inbox.
Now here's the opposite end of what I'm thinking.
I'm reluctant at this point in completely removing him from facebook as he's a friend of my closest Christian friend (and he had already talked to her before adding me as a friend so she knows we have been talking) and I don't want to outright hurt his feelings by ignoring him altogether. After all, I added him as just a friend in the first place without thinking it was going to be anything more than that. He's a nice guy and I do like him right now as a friend.
I'm leaning towards the advice you all have given me as the RIGHT choice but I want to be completely positive. I don't want to screw things up, I don't want to hurt him (although, he'll probably be hurt/disappointed anyway if I turn him down for good), I don't want to make any hasty decisions. I want to know how I should go about doing this if it's the right choice. If I should tell him I'm going to remove him because I need time to think or if I should do it without telling him (which if I did that, I know he would text me and ask me why I removed him). He said he's not going to be back on until tomorrow so at least it will give me some time alone tonight to just reflect on everything and turn to God and hopefully some more advice/guidance from you all! I hope that I am not bugging anybody with all of this. :)
I could use some prayers
I could use some prayers right now on this topic. I met a guy a few weeks ago on facebook. He sent me a friend request and I had no idea who he was so I first looked to see if we had any mutual friends in common and I found out he was facebook friends with my closest college friend (who is a Christian and was one of the people who God had put in my life to lead me to Christ). So I accepted him as a friend and he started chatting with me. I found out he was a Christian as well. After chatting a few times he admitted that he was interested in me and gave me his number and asked for mine. After chatting with him a few times I gave him my number and we've now had two phone conversations. Before talking with him on the phone I let him know that Jesus is the most important Person in my life, the main Focus and that my beliefs and morals are VERY important to me and I wouldn't compromise them for anybody. He caught my drift and said he wasn't that type of guy, wouldn't pressure any girl, had a good upbringing, and said he appreciated my honesty. From our few chats I started getting the feeling he wasn't as strict in his Christianity as I had hoped for. But I had been praying for "the one" for awhile now and this guy popped up into my life so I decided to turn to God in prayer, asking Him to help me refrain from being deceived by any emotions or my flesh. After my first phone convo with him, I was feeling better about this guy (from our chats I could tell he was more into me than I was of him. There's only so much you can tell about a person from talking to them online). He was very "what you see is what you get", he was a nice guy, supportive of any shyness on my part (I shared my testimony with him of how I used to be very very shy and full of anxieties and fears). Our personalities clicked. But I came across this particular page this morning and got to thinking about this guy and wanted to be sure this was someone God had put in my life as "the one". I asked Him to show me if this guy is from Him. I wanted Him to know that I want to marry someone who is as firm in their beliefs as I am. So he called me early tonight and we talked for a bit and my suspicions were pretty much verified that he's not as firm in his beliefs as I am. I can tell that he's worldy and some of the things he said just didn't sit well with me and made me uncomfortable. I want to marry someone who loves Jesus more than anyone in this world and for Jesus to be the main focus of the person's life. I want the person I'm going to marry to have the same moral and value system as I do and who believes in the Bible as the Word of God and who believes that nothing is too big for God. This guy pretty much has proved his lack of faith in just how big God is and NOTHING is too big for Him. He's already been up front with me that he's not a virgin. (which if he had changed his mind/repented about fornication and believed it was a sin I would have no issue with it because I would know that God has forgiven him but he never told me that he's waiting for marriage. All he said was that he was a "physical guy" but he wouldn't push me into doing anything I didn't wanna do). There's been other comments he's made as well that make me question his beliefs in what God calls sin and that isn't someone I want to marry. I pretty much felt uncomfortable in my conversation with him and definitely didn't feel anything positive that came from it. So I'm gonna continue in prayer to God and ask Him to help me make the RIGHT choice. I was honest with Him in that this guy is not on the same page as I am and lacks the moral maturity and faith that I'm looking for in a guy. I'm not saying that I'm completely mature in my faith because I'm not, I'm still learning every day and continue to make mistakes but I DESIRE to please God and to find out all of His truths and there is no one I love more than Him. My whole life belongs to Him. But this guy just doesn't seem to desire the things of God as much as I would like. And that makes me very uncomfortable. So I just ask for any advice and definitely for your prayers that I put my complete trust in God to help me make the RIGHT decision. Thank you!!
Dear sister, let patience
Dear sister, let patience have her good work in you. You are doing VERY WELL to clearly see this young man's lack of faith. May I recommend a book for you and every young woman who is seeking a Godly man? It is "A Man Worth Waiting For: How to Avoid a Bozo"
Here is a review on Amazon about it:
"It is no exaggeration that this book is a Must Read! Mrs. Kendall has written an excellent follow-up to "Lady in Waiting", (which also is a must read!). I want to thank God for anointing her to do this work which is much needed today. There are alot of woman who are in Jesus and still allow themselves to undergo alot of pain unnecessarily and Mrs. Kendall through her book shares with us that we will only find the completeness that we were created to desire in Jesus and not anything this earth has to offer. She backs everything up with scripture and leaves you with no doubt that you are unconditionally loved and deserve a Boaz and not a Bozo should it be God's purpose for your life to marry at all. I love the way she outlines step by step the characteristics of a Bozo and compare them to those of a Boaz so that we can use these guidelines and save alot of precious time that we should use to serve the Father and Jesus."
I am proud of you! This is hard stuff, but it saves you from so much grief!! Let the gentleman go. I would recommend taking him off the friends list on FB - you can add Michael and I to offset the loss :-) and not answering his calls. It will release him to find who he is seeking sooner, since you are obviously not of the same spirit. Keep your purity at all costs.
God has a special man for you that knows his true God-dentity. If he has fallen, he can always repent, and should have his act cleaned up BEFORE he goes out seeking another.
A man is created to be a protector. He has failed you already in that he has had relationships with other women and carries emotional and sexual baggage into any marriage bed you both would have shared. Also, any diseases that may pop up.
A man is created to be a provider.
A man is created to be a nurturer. He has failed here as well. How can one nurture another while seeking to fulfill their own lusts?
If there are no Godly men on planet earth, it is better to serve the Lord without. However.... I believe the Lord will bring the right man in due season. Clayton777's post was very wise in counseling waiting. The devil drives, God leads gently...
We are praying for you Eva!
We are praying for you Eva!
Thanks Timothy
Timothy
THanks alot.It's encouraging that you all are praying for me.21st August is bday of the person i was about to get married .Please pray that God should bless him very well and we should be reconnected again.I miss him very very much ..Wish God will do some miracle in my life and restore my relationship and bring back the joy and happiness in our family .
Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires
Solomon 8:4 - Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires
I quote this scripture, teaching you something what God has taught me, in regard to relationship and marriage. It's good to pray about the person that God would introduce to you in marriage. But it isnt right for you, dear soul, to be anxious in regard to this issue. many people are so anxious about this issue, that they get searching for a mate, and sometimes end up living outside God's will.
dont get me wrong. It isnt wrong to search for a bride or a groom and arrange a marriage. But it is not right to have a scanning eye, continously anticipating about your future.
A small testimoney regarding this issue. I know about people who prayerfully received a word about their future mate, and at the same time the other individual recieved a word from GOD as well. But a pure friendship was held as the relationship before the marriage. God cannot do this for everyone. FOr not everyone are strong to stay pure after the revelation.
So finally, just keep ur future spouse in prayer(wether or not God reveals about the person). And just continue in the Word of GOd, strivinng to reach the highest Goal, placed in the heavenly realms with Christ. For man, you dont know what happens tommorow, unless GOd chooses to reveal to you. Therefore wait with patience and ready with the wedding dress for the MAIN WEDDING, That is With Christ our savior and GOD> AMEN>
God's will in my life
Hello,
This is Smitha.... One day I was praying regarding my Life Partner. I asked God to show me the Person He has choosen for me right now. It was around 1:50 am in the night. I was praying really hard that night that i wanted God to show me who it is right now. The moment i was done with the prayer I got a call from my friend enquiring about how i was.This happend in the year 2007 Oct 4th. since then I was waiting that one day i will get married to my friend...................Now my marriage is settled with someother guy and the wedding is on 28th of this month. Everything has been done including cards distribution. I am really not sure what God's will is for me. Is my friend who called that day when i was praying or this Guy whom my parents have Choosen for me.
I sincerly request you to Pray for me regarding God's will in my life. 10 more days to go for my wedding. and i am really confused.I want God's will to be done in my life. somewhere I still believe that I will get married to my friend but i don't know how is it possible. I leave everything to God. I am sure he will not let me down.
Gods will in my life
Hello Smitha,
the will of God is not determined by just what happens around us or by mere occurrences. the bible says we live by faith not by sight. and also the things of God are spiritually discerned. you will never know Gods will by your eyes, ears or senses thats not how it comes. it comes by the Holy spirit speaking or witnessing to your inner man. No eye hath seen, what the lord is about to do by he has revealed to us by His spirit. and the spirit bears witness with our spirit. God does not speak to your flesh not at all He speaks to your spirit.
also its through the word of God. so your friend calling you at the time you were praying means nothing if you have no inner sensing or witness that its from God. people call you all the time its a bad way of discerning Gods will. what if two different guys had called that night. so the devil is using it as an avenue to confuse you but be not confused. so I will say stop thinking about the other person if he was Gods will. Unless you can sense strongly something wrong with your current man which you must examine in the light of scriptures, is he a believer, does he love God, is he committed to God and you those are the things and what is the witness in me which we determine by looking at the peace within your heart. "and the peace of God that passes knowledge guard your heart.........."
if you want to talk to me email me richblay@yahoo.com
I pray for God to keep you and order your steps amen!!
richard
enquiry on the will of god for marraige
hello sir
i am reading your book 'which way lord"
its amazing.. i apprecte ur simple sytle of writing yet powerful messages...
well... i am sapna from bangalore.. from hindu family living with unsaved parents
21 yrs old ...
i have aplied for my masters in counselling psychology to attend to god's call in the youth ministry...
i would like to get married 3 yrs from now...
since i ahve the great burden for youth and falling world...
i would like to have a man who ahs similar goals in the similar field...
would it be wrong if i select a guy in my college who is prayerfull and spirittual like me..
i havnt strated that process of searching...
but i woudl like to without deceptions and temptastions from satan..
how do i move abt it..
has god already selectedthe guy for me..
or its my duty to discern a guy from god...
pls give me the next step to be followed...
i have kept this is prayer as well...
regards
sapna
Thank you
Am so glad that I have found what I have been looking for, though I feel I have come across this a bit late I mean am already seriously involved with someone and there are times when I doubt if really this is the person am suppossed to be with. Brethrens in Christ what can do in this situation? I have been praying about it but God has not said anything.
God's will for marriage
Dear Believer in Christ,
When you really doubt on the will of God then you really need to pray a lot about it. The person whom you are already involved with might not be the right person for you....You got to pray earnestly and wait on the Lord and then need to proceed further, if God has not replied to you then you really need to be patient on the Lord. God will let you know the answer at the right time but keep praying and dont make hasty decisions.....Marriage is a covenant and you got to be careful on choosing the partner. keep praying in tongues and may the Lord bless you with the right partner...Also while you pray mention your desire (whom you would like to marry, how should the person be, what kind of person you need, etc) to the Lord.
God bless you.......
I need advice and prayer
I felt so blessed when my husband Russell Worthington Jr. came into my life. I have prayed for years for a husband and then I finally had one. I love him so much. I thank god in Jesus name for him even now. He left me for another woman Labor day of this year for another woman. This happened after our whole world fell apart after we were lead astray by false profits. They were like sheep in wolves clothing. I don't know where he is what he is doing. I believe he still loves me and God does have a plan for us. I need advice and prayer. I was lead to this site after praying and asking God to send the Holy Spirit to me to guide me to find answers.
hi barbie,i also prayed for
hi barbie,i also prayed for someone and GOD gave me a woman and got married after 3 months we met,but stranged enough,we broke up after 2 years of an ugly marriage,we were apart for almost a year and in that year GOD, showed me that i must'nt take things for granted what HE gave me and that i must fall inline according what HE gave me.yes!! you are apart now,but remember one thing,what GOD put together,stays together.one of you's are going to be a prophet and satan is trying to devide you,so that the prophecy cant be fullfilled,but by the name of JESUS you will be together again.there is always an i mean ALWAYS a lesson to be learned. GOD BLESS.
THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WOW! My uncle was a pastor he passed a year ago and he said that I was special and god was going to make me a teacher and I was going to speak to people and they were going to listen. I was going to bring thousand upon thousands of people to know Jesus. I was going to pray and speak in tongues speaking directly to God and he was going to hear me. Me and my husband were going to be a team and I was going to shine like a bright star in the Northern Michigan sky. I hold my own bible studies with friends every Sunday now. I pray and preach the good news. I ask the holy spirit to guide me and help me. There's no way you could have know any of this. I also prayed this morning was lead directly to this website. Also, I have learned a very valuable lesson. Stay on the narrow path and don't look to the left or right look forward. Seek ye first the kingdom of god and the rest will be added unto you! Praise God!!!!!! And May god bless this website!