My Celebration of Deliverance
Family of Origin:
I came from a multi-generational high-level bloodline occult family. I was purposely conceived and birthed for mind control, torture and ritual purposes. My family’s background includes high level Masonic members and connections. I have three half sisters and one half brother. My mother and surrogate father were extreme alcoholics. Chaos was the norm. I was singled out as the scapegoat for abuse by all members of the family. I continually experienced every type of abuse imaginable, including physical, gross sexual, rape, sodomy, extreme neglect, poverty, and forced child pornography, and prostitution.
We moved very frequently. During my seventeen years at home, we lived in twenty-seven different houses in four states. I attended twelve different schools using alias names in each new locale. I was extremely isolated by my parents. I did not know everyone didn’t wake up and look in the mirror and find they were two years older and living in a different house and going to a different school. I thought terror, starvation, torture, and abuse were normal.
I was born with a cleft pallet and harelip, and was in continuous ill health during my growing years. Medical care was given only when I was in a life-threatening situation. Otherwise it was a luxury.
Escape and Hope:
My first husband was handpicked by my parents and I was forced to marry at seventeen years of age. Abuse and control continued. This marriage did give me the opportunity to move to California and put some distance away from the horror of my family. I had two daughters; I was divorced after four years. With my second husband Ted I found myself truly loved and cherished for the first time in my life. He loved and raised my children as if they were his own. We've been married 25 years.
In February 1977 I accepted Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and Savior by reading Corrie Ten Boom’s book “The Hiding Place.” As Corrie knew Jesus amidst the horror of the concentration camps, I recognized that Jesus had been with me in the midst of the horror of my childhood, continuously drawing me and wooing me. Now as His child I found a measure of hope and security and a knowing of His love that enabled me to trust and find courage to face all that was coming. As an adult I always likened my life to being born in a concentration camp. Only God in His matchless wisdom would use Corrie’s story of a concentration camp to reach me and save me.
Falling Apart at the Seams:
Once I was secure in my second marriage, my tenuous health fell to pieces. The childhood abuse now needed attention. The ensuing years brought twenty-one major surgeries of reconstruction and repair due to the earlier abuse and torture. I was on a medical merry-go-round with hemorrhages, immune disorders, unexplained skin disorders, a wide range of gastric disorders, chronic pain, infections, major dental and oral problems, and extreme anemia. This resulted in numerous hospitalizations apart from the surgeries. I saw an endless array of medical specialists and was treated numerous times at Stanford Hospital.
I did not enter into serious psychotherapy until my surrogate father died. Following his death, flashbacks and memories began flooding and I commenced the long, arduous journey of nineteen years of intense psychotherapy and thirteen years under the watch of a psychiatrist. The professionals were often at a loss as to understand what had happened to me and how best to help me. One therapist and author was able to use my story when lecturing to students at Harvard Medical School about recognizing the signs of abuse in their future patients. It was very difficult to work with me at times for sure. I am grateful for the ones who hung with me throughout the journey. I have been told that case histories like mine usually require institutionalization and rarely attain normal functioning. However, throughout it all I was somewhat functional, which gave me some hope.
After 13 years of therapy I did seem to level off and took a break from the regimen. But soon there was more. I began working with a Christian therapist, who specialized in Dissociative Identity Disorder and Ritual Abuse. He also taught college graduate studies in the field of DID. Over the next 51/2 years 340 alter personalities were identified, and multitudes of layered fragments were found in my multiple system. Some integration occurred, and then my situation became nightmarishly worse.
My physical health plummeted. I was diagnosed with Critical Lung Disease, and Critical As
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