If you have grieved the Holy Spirit, it does not mean that you can never know God again. Instead, make the presence of God your priority. Its good to do all the things you mention - one thing you did not say is that you have a PASSION for the PRESENCE of GOD. I would say, get alone with God for a season - could be as short as 1 day. Look to Jesus and what He has done for you on the cross. Put your hope in that. Ask for the Holy Spirit to come and fill you again. Don't give up. Forsake sin - do it just to stop hurting God. I believe God is merciful, His face can shine on you again.